To ask for for advice on how to solve this.

[QuestionableMouse]

I work for a huge multi national company. Its fast food based.(if anyone knows who it is, please DON'T mention the name)

We recently got a new business manager and he's making my life hell at work. I have sensory issues and can't tolerate the feel of tights. Even the thought of putting them on makes me start to panic. I'm trying to find cotton or natural fibre tights but it's hard because I'm a size 24 and they all seem to run small.

For the last year, I've been wearing leggings under my skirt (the last business manager was absolutely fine with this)

I've just been sent home from work for it. It means I've lost £50 quid that I really needed. He also really embarrassed me in front of the customers by shouting at me like a naughty toddler. I'm not going to lie, I sat and cried in my car.

I'm not sure how to solve it. I can't wear normal tights, have spent £50+ trying various cotton ones and at this point I just want to go to work without all the drama. Is there anything legally that might help me?

Thank you

If you are wearing trousers can you get away with pop socks? It will look from the calves down as though you have tights on but they won't show on your thigh like stockings might.

How will they know you are not wearing tights?

I think you might get away with this.

If the tights are required to flatten out lumps and bumps then could you get a larger size of trouser? This will flatter the figure without having to resort to squeezing it all into tights.

I certainly couldn't wear tights under trousers, that's madness. Nothing would be able to 'breathe' and it Itches like crazy.

I sometimes have to climb a ladder or on the seats and the skirt tends to ride up. I'm worried I'd accidentally flash the stocking top and they'd be unhappy with that.

Maybe I'm over thinking this but it's how he's got me. The first time we met, he pulled at my uniform and called me scruffy. I feel like I'm on edge when he's in.

I've just seen it's skirts you are wearing. There are some brands of hold ups that are much longer than others, these you can pull up to almost your crotch. Meaning they don't show. It would look like tights.

The brand 'Lida' do this. Each variation comes in height and width of leg.

This means you can choose taller ones to pull up higher.

Might be worth a try.

It's tights (leggings) under a uniform skirt.

I never cry. I've had people get in my face and scream/swear at me and it doesn't bother me. I'm not sure why it got to me so much today... I think it was losing the pay combined with being sent home like a naughty child.

Thank you. I actually ordered tights from that brand on Thursday and will look into the stockings. Must admit I'm a bit worried about them creeping down!

And whilst you're speaking to hr, mention that his behaviour cost you £50. That's you were there and willing to work and dressed as normal.

What about some really rubbish leggings, I've had some that were so thin they looked like tights.

If it’s a big company I’d go down hr route- mention how he treated you, it’ll go down like lead balloon for him

The leggings I was wearing today weren't thick... They look like wooly tights. I'm not entirely sure what he's objecting to because all I get is they're not uniform.

I think I know which chain. Its been a uniform change or two since I worked there, so forgive me if I'm wrong. Are you able to wear another rank's uniform, if its more comfortable/ more able to swap out for a "high street" version than "brand own".

Also, do they order the tights for your uniform as well, and if so can you request they will have to fork out for the suitable ones that meet your needs.

I can also see why stockings may not be appropriate, as there may be aspects of bending down in your position where you may show them unintentionally. However if you can wear them without such incidents, he won't know at all, so this may be the best option.

And yes, do complain to HR, although it may be difficult if you dont have a formal diagnosis to explain it is a valid reason, rather than "I dont like wearing tights and the rest of my badly designed uniform "

It might be worth the £10-£20 to get a dr’s letter stating that you can’t wear tights for medical reasons and require cotton bottoms. Lots of women can’t wear tights they find they result in a yeast infection.

Although, if stockings are ok you could wear shorts over or under then which would hide the gap? Chop the bottoms off your leggings to make shorts.

Not allowed to wear crew trousers. I asked about that and was told no.

My plan for now is contact HR. I'll try to get into see my GP but the waiting times are horrible at my practice at the moment.

I feel like I'm asking for the world but all I need is a tiny bit of support and flexibility from them.

Phone ACAS first thing on Monday. He's being ridiculous.

Stockings would still have to be cotton/natural fibre. I can't stand the feeling of nylon (especially) or polyester around my feet or knees. It's horrible because I struggle to find nice clothes, worry that the sheets might be nylon (happened once, I slept in my coat) when I go on holiday and worry that people think I'm just being awkward when I have a real physical response to it.

I’m autistic myself mouse and really sympathise with the sensory issues. If you’ve been wanting to get assessed it may be worth reiterating how it is affecting your life now, with this particular example. 💐

I’m not sure if workplaces have to do the whole Reasonable Adjustment thing if there’s not a diagnosed condition. I got RAs to do with my physical health issues at work but I’m not sure they would have been willing if I wasn’t diagnosed by then TBH :(

Don't take it personal he's clearly a dick

Dance ones said stretch stirrups.

Manager was a complete dick btw

Laying it all out to HR is the way to go.

I can't wear tights, I get athletes foot whenever I've had them on for an hour.

It sounds as though he wants you out. At least get your point across to HR. Have you had a meeting about this?

he has behaved unprofessionally. You never make customers aware of any issues. HR won't like that. He has got to be told that he isn't a law unto himself.

Thank you for the support. I fully expected to be told I was being stupid. I've never pushed being assessed because apart from the sensory thing it doesn't really affect me... I think though I've been downplaying how much the sensory stuff actually does affect me and it might be time to do something about it.

your manager sounds awful, if I'd been a customer I would've complained at his behaviour, what a piece of work.
I hope you get somewhere with HR or perhaps see a different GP and get a letter explaining your sensory issues? ask for a referral to someone so you can explore your concerns, it falls under mental health for adults, so you'd have to explain how your issues are interfering with your day to day life and ask for a referral for an assessment

Are you in a Union Mouse? They might help you, as he is bullying you by the sound of it.

Have you seen a copy of the Uniform Policy? If not, then ask HR for a copy of it, the new chap might just be making his version up.

Start keeping a detailed diary of exactly what was said to you, dates and times, who was present to hear him calling you scruffy etc.

This is the type of thing to bring up in your Annual Review.

Not in a union.

I really enjoy my job and I'm bloody good at it which is why it's so galling to be treated like a naughty kid.

Don't let him get to you, hr will kick his ass

Buy longer leggings and wear them over your feet...so inside your shoes.

I sometimes wear my leggings like that when I want to be wearing tights but haven’t any thick enough.