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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Concert + newborn

51 replies

Rachie1986 · 16/06/2018 08:24

Right, here's the situation..

A band I like when I was a teenager and have followed since are doing their final tour.. when baby2 is due to be approx 8weeks old. I plan to breastfeed, but will probably mix feed as we did with dd1. Dd1 will be 5.

When I heard tour dates I gave up on going, rather disappointed, but DH encouraged me to think about it again. So one possible solution is that we all (me, DH, DD1 and baby) go away for a weekend to a city 2hrs or so away, get an apartment, and then on the Saturday night I can go to the concert as it'll be nearby and only be gone a few hours (rather than a lot of travel there and back). DH is more than happy to have DD1 and baby for the evening.

However, the cost of a weekend away in an apartment (not doing hotel, DD needs quiet to sleep!) plus petrol, the ticket etc is looking upwards of £350. I'll be on SMP by then to money's very tight. Plus, will I be up for going out and leaving baby, possibly missing a feed, etc? With DD1 I had PND and really would have struggled..things might be different this time?

Basically, AIBU to even start considering it with an 8w old? And with the financial implications? What would you do?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 16/06/2018 08:26

I wouldn’t for the financial considerations alone. If things are very very tight then it’s not the time to be spending £350 on a concert that, when it comes, you might not even want to go to anyway.

Crunchymum · 16/06/2018 08:26

If you don't have the money then you need to give it a miss I'm afraid.

It's a lot of hassle and money for a concert.

Who is it?

Original poster
Rachie1986 · 16/06/2018 08:29

DH could potentially do overtime at work to pay for it (and would be happy to) but I feel bad about that.
I also thought it would be a weekend away for DD1, we'd do family things both days and the place of the concert is good for family things too.

OP posts:
Zampa · 16/06/2018 08:29

I booked tickets for something when DD2 would have been 4 months old. By the time the gig came around, there was no way I could leave her. She was just too fussy. Luckily, the gig was postponed to when she's 7 months, so should be able to go then.

If you don't mind potentially losing the money they you'll spend on tickets, accommodation etc. if you can't go, book it.

Also worth bearing in mind that you could end up going 2 weeks overdue with an emergency section and so only just be at the end of your 6 week recovery by the time the event arrives.

Pengggwn · 16/06/2018 08:30

If the finances can made to work, do it. You only live once. You're not going to be thinking about that £350 on your death bed, are you?

Doing things you enjoy and taking time out for yourself is good for your mental health.

greatbigwho · 16/06/2018 08:32

I think the thing is, no one, even you, can predict what will happen or how you'll feel. My friend went to a concert overnight when her daughter was 3 weeks old, and was fine with it. I struggled to leave her for more than a couple of hours for almost a year, especially in the evening (both emotionally and practically as she would only settle for me!)

Sebbies · 16/06/2018 08:32

I would do it. If the money isn’t going to leave you very short. Can you start putting some money away each month before your mat leave starts? Like you say there’s lots to do for the whole family in the area, even if worse case scenario you don’t actually go to the concert for whatever reason. At least this way you have options. I would go for it

Eliza9917 · 16/06/2018 08:35

DH is more than happy to have DD1 and baby for the evening.

That's nice of him.

mummastripes · 16/06/2018 08:37

I wouldn't have a problem leaving the baby but the financial cost seems a lot.

Original poster
Rachie1986 · 16/06/2018 08:38

Eliza he's happy to have them anytime, just didn't want anyone to think part of the issue or dilemma was leaving them with him or him not being supportive.

Thanks for the advice everyone, appreciate it!

OP posts:
Pinkprincess1978 · 16/06/2018 08:39

With both of mine I went to see take that when they were 8/9 weeks old. Ds would take a bottle so was fine. Dd refused all the milk I had expressed so DH had a tough night.

First time was about two hrs away and second an hour or so. I drove there and back both times and don't regret it.

CheshireSplat · 16/06/2018 08:40

If you can get the money together, I'd do it. Life is so short! Would you be happy to go to the concert alone?

Keep your fingers crossed that DC2 will take a bottle!

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 16/06/2018 08:43

I suspect I might know who the band are, did they release a rather emotional song yesterday? My advice is only relevant if it is this band.

It's difficult, because if it is the band that I think, then they might not have been the biggest band, some people even laugh at them, but they were just different, it's been quite a rollercoaster ride.

The thing is if you have instagram, one of the band seemed to imply that they'd do summer gigs next year too. Or could you go to one of the summer gigs this year?

Otherwise I think I might agree that if you can't afford it it might not be the best.

VladmirsPoutine · 16/06/2018 08:45

I would do it on the condition that if it comes to it you might actually find that you have to miss it because who knows what your delivery will be like and what emotional/mental state you might be in at the time. 8 weeks post-partum will still be very early days.

If you can wrangle the finances to make it then go ahead - you won't begrudge that £350 you spent on a weekend away to see a concert with your family in tow.

Original poster
Rachie1986 · 16/06/2018 08:47

You've got it naught! Yes a bit of a rollercoaster and supported them from the start.

I saw a summer gig last year which was brilliant.. however really wanted to do the final arena tour.. and the summer gigs this year are not part of that tour.

And I love the new song!

Really do appreciate the advice both ways, is summerising everything I feel really!

OP posts:
WonderTweek · 16/06/2018 08:49

I’d definitely do it if I had the money. I’m a massive music nerd and seeing bands that I’ve listebed to for decades is one of the best things in life. SmileI really want to know who it is now!

Also it might be worth making a plan b in case of illness or if you aren’t able to go after all for some reason. Halo

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 16/06/2018 08:58

Totally understand rachie

Having seen the life is to short advice i might just agree, we know how short life is don't we, that in many ways is the reason for this tour.

Oh i don't know i'm bias as i think he would be so proud and want everyone to go and enjoy it. (How proud would he be of the song)

If its not going to make you to short of money go, if it is i'm afraid it might be the summer gigs. If they do scarborough that might be a good ome to go too.

SoyDora · 16/06/2018 09:00

I know who it is. I want to go too but I’ll have a 2-3 week old when they’re near me so no chance 😩

SoyDora · 16/06/2018 09:01

I’ve been to every single one of their tours up to now Confused

SoyDora · 16/06/2018 09:02

That was supposed to be Blush

Original poster
Rachie1986 · 16/06/2018 09:06

Good effort Soydora! Not managed all but been a good few times. I do tend to get ridiculed for liking them but I don't care!

To the pp who asked about going on my own, yes I'd be more than happy about doing that, particularly if we were staying nearby.

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 16/06/2018 09:06

I think your plan is ok. Would you be able to sell your tickets on if you can’t go? Sometimes this is forbidden. We went to a wedding when DD was about 7 weeks old a couple of years ago so I was gone 4-11:30 but she was brought to me for a feed at about 7 I think.

Knittinglikemad · 16/06/2018 09:09

@rachie1986 I know who you are referring to & I have been to every concert of theirs, money is tight here & my health isn’t good but I will be going even if I need to go in my wheelchair as this is it, their last & final tour. If you can budget for it with it not going to be till beginning of next year ( tickets on sale next week) I would go.

Singlebutmarried · 16/06/2018 09:10

I want to know who the band is.

DragonMamma · 16/06/2018 09:12

singlebutmarried I think it’s a BOYband from the 90s/early 00s

I saw them a couple of times when I was a kid.

I’d go OP, if it’s important to you.

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