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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Work hard and be nice to people

28 replies

SoftAsACactus · 15/06/2018 14:33

and ‘In a world where you can be anything, be kind’

A load of trite shit, right? Or AIBU? And I feel targeted at women (plastered everywhere in Oliver Bonas-type shops) and all over the place in women’s magazines shopping pages/interiors

Fuck being nice and sweet and kind and fragrant all the time

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 15/06/2018 14:42

It just said be kind. Get a grip! It didn't say be bloody perfect.
Trying to be kind is not a negative.

SweetCheeks1980 · 15/06/2018 14:47

I'm a bitch so I try and be kind. There's a difference between kind and sickly sweet.

letsallhaveanap · 15/06/2018 14:49

Its good to be kind! And it helps you as well because you dont end up wasting all your energy on anger or resentment.... I actually think its a pretty good message.
I agree though that it is annoying when its used to sell products... I hate that shit... its not really that 'kind' to sell stuff to people that they dont need for far higher than it cost for you to make using their self esteem issues as a hook.

But in general its a good message I think!

Hideandgo · 15/06/2018 14:50

I think the point is that you can be anything but be kind as well. Not choose being kind as your only thing.

Kindness is pretty important but only hand in hand with assertiveness.

letsallhaveanap · 15/06/2018 14:51

in advertising it can be a bit 'women you are shit people and so what are you going to buy to make yourself better?'

CoffeeIsNotEnough · 15/06/2018 15:20

Being kind is a good thing. It doesn't mean being sickly sweet or being a doormat. And it's good when men are kind too.

Just ignore the bullshit aspirational twaddle and actually be kind!

PinkHeart5914 · 15/06/2018 15:23

Of course people should try to be kind, that is a good thing to aim to be imo. Huge difference between being kind and being a door mat...

Ski4130 · 15/06/2018 15:26

Being kind is a good thing, YABU. Being kind doesn't make you a drippy doormat, whatever your gender. Everyone should try to be kind.

Xenia · 15/06/2018 15:28

My only advice to my sons going to university last year was be kind. I think it's one of the best ways you can be actually and I say it as much to men as women.

However I agree that if women are required to be kind and men not that is very sexist and unfair.

SluttyButty · 15/06/2018 15:31

Being kind is something everyone should aspire to be. Whether it's offering a helping hand or saying something to brighten a persons day to any other kind act one could perform.

If we were all kinder the world would be a much nicer place.

If a homeless person asks for a few pennies and I literally have no cash in my purse, I don't walk on by and ignore them, I apologise and say I haven't got anything on me. Whether or not they appreciate it, I can say I've done the decent thing. If I do have cash or a cigarette in my bag then I'll give it. I like being kind when I spend much of my life being a grumpy cow. Kindness benefits my mental health.

Scribblegirl · 15/06/2018 15:42

My OH is exceptionally kind, I've said frequently that I think it's one of the most unfairly underrated qualities in a person. It's one of the reasons I admire him so much.

I try and be kinder as a person, but it's not always easy.

Semster · 15/06/2018 16:07

I've only seen males saying it recently tbh.

Wasn't it a central theme of Wonder? Uttered by a male teacher? "If you have a choice between being right and being kind, choose kind."

It's something I try to live by. I live somewhere people really are very kind, and I appreciate it.

Camomila · 15/06/2018 16:33

It was someone famouses last words recently (maybe Steve Jobs?) wasn't it? That the most important thing in life was too be kind.

'Above all else, be kind' Not sure where I read this exact quote but I really like it.

Most religions have some version of the 'Golden Rule'

ReggaetonLente · 15/06/2018 16:37

Oh I love this saying. And I do think we would all do well to remember to be a bit kinder than we need to be to be honest.

Alicatz66 · 15/06/2018 17:26

The message to be kind is good.. who would choose not to be kind ? I don't think many people would say they aspired to being unkind !
But those crap signs and "live, laugh, love" words get right on my nerves .. I hate them .. they are so naff

Sitranced · 15/06/2018 17:51

Well it better than 'keep calm and...'

WatermelonGlitter · 15/06/2018 18:02

It's a cruel world. It's a good thing to be kind. Life is too short for anything else.

Racecardriver · 15/06/2018 18:04

YABU. Kindness is basic human decency.

LostInShoebiz · 15/06/2018 18:08

I see your point. Go into Red 5 or Topman, pick up a copy of Shortlist and you would never see anything like that.

UpstartCrow · 15/06/2018 18:10

It would be great if it were aimed at men.

greatbighillofhope · 15/06/2018 18:11

How do you find a balance between being kind and being a doormat?

LostInShoebiz · 15/06/2018 18:12

You can say ‘no’ kindly. That’s not being a doormat. You can know the difference between unflinchingly honest and polite.

stickygotstuck · 15/06/2018 18:15

I know I'm supposed to say that to DC. But I feel torn, like I'm lying to them.

The way I see it, Work hard and be kind = You'll burn yourself out and people will think they can walk all over you.

I know I sound bitter, but that's my personal experience, sadly. Sometimes I wish my parents had never advised me that. Today is one of those times Sad.

Still, on a good day I'd like to believe it.

greatbighillofhope · 15/06/2018 18:59

Sticky, yes, totally agree. I’ve always worked very hard and tried my best to be kind. People resent me because I have been successful and seem to think they have the right to take advantage of me because I’ve been so ‘lucky’.

busybarbara · 15/06/2018 19:17

You need to have a mean streak you can pull out when you need as most people are total scumbags you can trust but some are alright