Do you ever say yes to things you don’t ever intend to attend?

[OlderBook]

Aibu to ask and try and understand?

I recently went to a party and was chatting to the host who had said that a little under half of the people who said they’d attend showed up, many without putting in their apologies. Including the person I’d discussed attending with who’d pulled out a few hours earlier for reasons they ought to have foreseen when they agreed to come.

Aibu to think some people say yes to things never actually intending to follow through? Or is it true that things always come up but coincidentally for some people things come up more often than others?

I’m just curious really - no judgement- as I’m someone who rarely says a firm yes to things but when I do very rarely pull out and am trying to better understand other people before ranting any more in my head.

I would respect a “No” more than being told yes and then have my time wasted.
I used to be a people pleaser myself but I’ve learned eventually that I didn’t have to say yes all the time, and those who don’t accept no as an answer are usually people I avoid in future.