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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How do you defend your toddlers from dogs not on leads?

567 replies

Flatearthersphere · 14/06/2018 16:39

I have 3 children 3 and under, we often go to the park, on walks to different places, our local reservoir with a play area, picnics etc etc..
Anywsy all these areas say dogs should be on leads but they aren't I would say about 50 percent of the time, not exaggerating but just seems the norm round here.

Anyway I am guessing most people could pick up their toddler if a dog came bounding up to them but I have 3, usually 2 in the pushchair and one walking. I thought this would be OK but I was in a situation a few days ago which scared me.

I had 2 in the pushchair, an elderly woman had a big collie which bounded up to us, on one of those extendable leads and she just let it run up to us, I shouted "please pull your dog away" and picked up my eldest but she just said "don't be silly he's being friendly" and I said "I Dont care pull it away" but she refused and it jumped up into my pushchair and scratched all my sons legs even though I was trying to push it away because I was holding a child.

This isn't the first time I've been in this situation, even me and my husband have struggled when we've been holding hands with all 3 and there was a big pit bull cross or something which knocked one of our toddlers clean off his feet.

Genuinely, how do other people deal with these situations? I feel like I can't ever take the children out on my own and like we have to keep them in the pushchair all the time even if there is 2 of us. I'm finding I am avoiding going out now and it's getting depressing.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 14/06/2018 22:39

Please don't kick out at dogs. You could actually end up being bitten. The same goes for grabbing a collar.
On behalf of all of the dog owners who actually train their bloody dogs and work hard to make them behave politely in public I would like to apologise for the arseholes that don't.

No dog should be charging up to strangers, jumping up, stealing food or otherwise being a PITA.
Time to record and report? It's actually a legal requirement to have your dog under control in public.

ShowOfHands · 14/06/2018 22:40

Never trust anyone who doesn't like dogs

Some of the most despicable human beings who have ever lived, loved dogs. Plenty of compassionate, kind human beings simply don't like dogs. And why not? It tells you nothing of human character.

Wolfiefan · 14/06/2018 22:43

And you don't have to dislike them to object to torn clothes and small children having their faces licked. Yuck
I do have a dog. She doesn't do those things.
Wasn't Hitler reputed to be fond of his dogs?

Flatearthersphere · 14/06/2018 22:44

@chardonnay and @thesearepearls

Bugger off Grin neither of you read my op. I didn't flap or go over the top. My son got injured and I still remained cool. Sod off with your fur babies, my actual babies are my priority.

OP posts:
MeyYael · 14/06/2018 22:46

Some of the most despicable human beings who have ever lived, loved dogs

Yup. Even Hitler seems to have liked dogs. (To a certain extent)

MeyYael · 14/06/2018 22:47

Wasn't Hitler reputed to be fond of his dogs?

Very. (I mean, I think he ultimately killed them [including the puppies] but still... He did own dogs, yes.)

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 14/06/2018 22:47

Steamtrain - you sound nice 😬

I am actually, but If an unknown dog bounds up to us, with no "owner" in sight damn right I'm going squirt it with something nasty.

awomensworkisneverdone · 14/06/2018 23:06

I have a breed that most fear. People cross the road to avoid even walking near him. He looks mean.
Little do they know he’s a real sap and he’s an old lad now.
But I understand the fear of most people so the moment I see anyone in sight with children,with thier dog ect I immediately leash him!
I know he’s well behaved and extremely friendly but I don’t expect others to be psychic and know this too. It’s called taking responsibility...

DownstairsMixUp · 14/06/2018 23:08

I'm allergic to, a lot of people are. I really don't understand dog owners that expect us all to love and fawn Over their dogs

waxy1 · 14/06/2018 23:12

Kick hard

gillybeanz · 14/06/2018 23:16

I feel sorry for the dogs.
Won't anybody think of the dogs Sad

They have owners that put them in difficult positions by not being responsible, and parents scared for their children, and rightly so, they are scary for small children.
The solution seems to be to kick or antagonise the dog.
Oh yeah, why not prod it with a pointy stick.

Wolfiefan · 14/06/2018 23:18

If you kick a dog you are (as far as the dog is concerned) attacking it. Far from defending yourself and dissuading the dog from any harm you could actually provoke a very nasty attack. Stupid advice. (Although I can understand the desire to kick!)
Kick the owner. It's not the dog's fault they're owned by an antisocial fuckwit.

MeyYael · 14/06/2018 23:22

The solution seems to be to kick or antagonise the dog.
Oh yeah, why not prod it with a pointy stick.

Kicking the owner is unfortunately not a solution. (And the dog might try to defend its incompetent owner...)

Yes, it's unfair that the dogs have to face the consequences brought upon them by their human's irresponsibility / failings...

But it's also unfair that other people have to deal with the consequences of irresponsible people being allowed to own dogs...

SnuggyBuggy · 14/06/2018 23:28

Kicking out at a dog is something a person might do in panic though. It's really irresponsible to let a dog run up to someone and just assume they know how to manage a dog.

Mamamiaherewegoagainmymy · 14/06/2018 23:41

*TheMythOfFingerprints

How many are there? I've spotted more than one........

PorkFlute · 14/06/2018 23:42

While the op may be a bit on the nervous side due to her past experience I agree that dogs with no recall shouldn’t be off lead in public places.
No one is saying that dogs are generally to be feared but it’s quite often bouncy friendly dogs that cause a problem with little ones.
We are all dog lovers in my family but my ds was a bit wary when he was younger due to an incident where a dog gave their owner the slip and ran into a leisure centre we were in and jumped up on just toddling ds and knocked him to the ground. No doubt the dog was trying to be friendly but his owner should have had them under control.
And it’s worth remembering that the kind of owners that let their dogs approach others and jump on them or have no choice because they’ve not bothered to teach them to come when called probably don’t have the best looked after/behaved dogs either.
In your situation op I would just stand in front of your children and then if the dog jumps up it will be on you. Then you can assess the situation and speak to the owner and see if you want to let your kids stroke the dog.

littleducks · 14/06/2018 23:46

Be vigilant, if you see a dog bounding towards then get your children to turn around. If all three are ou then form a little huddle, if there is only one out then pick him up and turn the stroller. Trial and error

That's exactly what I did. Picked up elder child stood in front of buggy with back to dog. I used firm voice to tell dog to get down but it did not respond to down or sit. I had scratches, bruises along my back and teeth marks on arms and legs (it was mouthing not biting but it hurt). Kids did scream (do you blame them?) After jumping started. Dog has moved on to chase swans before owner was in sight.

8 years later ds still scared.

Wolfiefan · 14/06/2018 23:53

Snuggy it is irresponsible to let your dog leap over strangers. And someone may kick out at a dog (often in anger though)
OP is asking what to do for the best. Not what to do in a panic.

BigGrannyPants · 14/06/2018 23:55

I find it utterly incredulous the posters on here treating OP like an idiot, over reacting mother and a dog hater.

OP has not put herself across as any of these things. She quite rightly does not want other people's animals jumping all over her children.

Outrageous that there are MNers trying to defend the dog owners who do not train or command their dogs properly.

The swords/shields comments is incredibly rude and insulting.

Her children are the most precious thing in the world to her I would imagine as that's how most people feel about their kids.

To suggest she should have to work around the needs of the dogs/owners is ludicrous.

OP should not have to take any action as the dogs should be on their leads and under control... I mean who is actually in charge here, the one on the lead or the one holding the lead Hmm

Noqont · 15/06/2018 00:04

To be honest, if a dog jumped onto my child in a pushchair I would probably kick it as hard as I could in the head.

Not sure that I wouldn't either tbh. Not that I have a child small enough to be in a buggy anymore. But panic would certainly set in and I'd do whatever it took to remove the dog from my child.

user1495362060 · 15/06/2018 00:04

No idea. I never felt the need to “defend” my children from dogs who are mostly really just running to give them a brief sniff.
You sound unreasonably afraid of dogs. It is a problem and you are going to pass the fear to your kids through your behavior. That said of course it doesn’t excuse the owners, who are just being rude. But you cannot fix other people, so try to fix yourself - I would suggest getting a dog yourself when the kids are older and your life easier Smile

Noqont · 15/06/2018 00:15

No idea. I never felt the need to “defend” my children from dogs who are mostly really just running to give them a brief sniff.

Not always true. My children were sent flying by uncontrollable mutts quite a few times in the park near me. Or scratched to the point that it drew blood. And their owners every single time walking on and not giving a shit. Thats not ok. My ds is terrified of other people's dogs now, despite us having one ourselves.

pigsDOfly · 15/06/2018 00:20

Clearly there are an awful lot of posters on here from both side posting stupid and/or nasty things hoping for a bun fight.

Your reasonable OP has been high jacked by them unfortunately OP.

Amazing what bollocks some people feel moved to come out with when they get in front of a keyboard.

isthissummer · 15/06/2018 00:34

Our dog has never gone off lead in public apart from a dog park so I have only managed this from OP's perspective.
I find being firm with the dog and reassuring with the dc the best way forward. That said one dc has a crazy love of dogs and would have loved being bounced over. Try and reframe it as a positive chance to interact with fluff, that is truly how my pair approach friendly bouncy dogs.

TheNebulousBoojam · 15/06/2018 00:58

Let’s just hope that the laws continue to restrict the rights of owners and dogs. I hope in a few years time we will have compulsory muzzling, dogs on leads unless in designated areas that are publicised, owners to have insurance against damage caused by their pets, microchipping and accountability....it could be a money-spinner for the government.
If owners don’t sort the problems out, the dog dislikers will push for action. It’s already much more restrictive than 30 years ago.