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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be fussed that my son has started sucking his thumb?

51 replies

Mumof1DS · 14/06/2018 11:03

DS is 4 months old. Sucking his fist has developed into sucking his thumb occasionally. Not all the time, maybe once or twice a day. Whether it makes it in by accident or intention, I'm not sure.

Personally, me and DH are not fussed. We think he'll grow out of it. He's hardly going to go to his first job sucking his thumb!
However, MIL and SIL are acting like he has developed a heroin addiction. It's been suggested that we give him a dummy instead. Even DM has said it's easier to take away a dummy rather than a thumb.
I haven't given him a dummy so far and don't really want to. It took a long time to get him latching on well and still sometimes ends up with a shallow latch and has to be taken off and put back on, so I don't really want to introduce a dummy in case it hinders the breastfeeding.

AIBU in my attitude to said thumb sucking?

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 14/06/2018 11:06

From a 38 year old thumb sucker who has messed up her teeth I wouldn't have wanted either of my DC to be sucking their thumbs. I've tried everything to stop but can't (and yes I know I look ridiculous and don't do it in public!)

Original poster
Mumof1DS · 14/06/2018 11:06

Oh and also, he has just settled himself into a nap on the playmat while sucking his thumb. Surely this can only be a good thing??

OP posts:
PinkHeart5914 · 14/06/2018 11:08

I sucked my thumb right up until year 2 at school, teachers even use to comment on it Blush My teeth are fine so 🤷🏻‍♀️

How is thumb sucking any worse than all these people that give a child a dummy? Isn’t it the same

BeginningToWobble · 14/06/2018 11:09

I had the same attitude tbh and DD refused any type of dummy anyway. I was told to gently remove it as soon as she had fallen asleep so that she is not constantly sucking on it which is the issue for teeth. So I did that, then at some point she started removing it herself as soon as she was asleep. We've had no issues with teeth, dentist doesn't know she's a thumb sucker!

Peacefulbanana · 14/06/2018 11:12

I did it until i was about 12 but no teeth problems here either . I have however had a parter who at 23 was still doing it to go to sleep...which was weird

HalfStar · 14/06/2018 11:23

Oh my baby has just started doing this too. We have an older thumbsucker who is still addicted and it's a real bugbear, so tried hard to get this little one to take a dummy. Hates it. But likes sucking her thumb.

Don't have it in me to do anything more about it - apart from anything else the self-soothing aspect is soooo welcome right now...

ForeverBubblegum · 14/06/2018 11:23

DS went through a thumb sucking phase at that age. I just left him to it as it's his thumb to do as he likes with. Think he might have bit him self at one point because he stopped suddenly once he got teeth at 8 months.

HateSummer · 14/06/2018 11:30

I was the same with ds. He was sucking and his teeth grew out protruding outwards. At age 2 we went into major action and stopped him sucking by telling him his cut on his thumb would get worse. He didn’t like the idea of a worse bleeding thumb so stopped completely. He used his muslin cloth as a comforter until he started school and then dropped that after his second week at school.

If he’d carried on sucking, his teeth and upper jaw would’ve been shaped around his thumb, and even now, it’s very slightly rounded but he has perfect straight teeth.

I wouldn’t encourage the thumb sucking tbh.

kaytee87 · 14/06/2018 11:35

Well according to my dentist a dummy is better for growing teeth than a thumb. I had a dummy until I was 4 I think then sucked my thumb until I was 8 Blush think I had an oral fixation.
It's up to you what you want to do. A dummy you could limit to sleep times I suppose but if the baby wants to suck it's thumb then it will.

StinkySaurus · 14/06/2018 12:22

I think it’s a good thing your LO has found their thumb. It will help them self soothe and you don’t have to find it for them in the middle of the night ( like with a dummy). I believe that most children grow out of it before they are 3. And if they haven’t you can them explain to them why they should stop and help them to do so.

So don’t worry and don’t use a dummy if you don’t want to

CrackersForPolly · 14/06/2018 12:25

Thumb sucking does not make teeth stick out. They are obviously predisposed to this and the thumb sucking hasn't helped.

I have perfectly straight teeth and suck my thumb.

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 14/06/2018 12:27

I sucked my thumb until I was around 7. My mum says I used the thumb to flick any dummy out of my mouth. My baby and adult teeth are absolutely fine.

piggie88 · 14/06/2018 12:53

I gave my baby a dummy but when she was about 5 months she started sucking her thumb and by 7 months she wasn’t interested in the dummy at all. She’s 16 months now and still sucks her thumb but me and DH aren’t fussed either, it’s actually never even crossed my mind that it’s an issue. Don’t give him a dummy if you don’t want to, if he wants to suck his thumb he’ll do it anyway.

ems137 · 14/06/2018 13:59

My eldest daughter still sucks her thumb a lot at age 11. She does it in shops, at school, anywhere and I am a bit worried that she'll get picked on as she moves into high school. Her teeth are perfect though.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 14/06/2018 14:26

I sucked my thumb my teeth are fine.
Both my dds ha e beautiful teeth and dd1 is 8!

I'm very anti dummies so I wouldn't have ever given them but thunb ducking is a god send for self soothing

RidingMyBike · 14/06/2018 14:40

Mine is a thumb sucker and it's been brilliant - helped her sleep well from early on. The dentist is highly disapproving and keeps telling me to paint something that tastes horrible on it to make her stop, and just go comfort her at night if she wakes up. He's a youngish man with no children yet so has no clue of the hell of a child waking up multiple times a night without the thing she likes best so I'm ignoring him.

The HV said it was fine as long as it wasn't all the time (it isn't) and the GP said it was wonderful as thumb suckers had their own comfort mechanism and it was nothing to worry about!

LittleLionMansMummy · 14/06/2018 14:43

I sucked my thumb and I'm the only one among my siblings who didn't need braces! I did however continue sucking my thumb for an embarrassing length of time (and very rarely still slip into it when I'm really tired, before snapping myself into reality and stopping as soon as I realise!)

I'm with you on this - if it soothes him, let him, he's tiny! But then I'm currently having arguments with my cm who wants to take my 18mo dd's Raffi away from her except at nap time... Angry

JennyOnAPlate · 14/06/2018 14:51

Both my dc were thumb suckers and both stopped around the age of 4. I don't see it as an issue at all!

ExecutiveDiamondBossBabeHun · 14/06/2018 14:57

There was a thred not long ago where all the adult thumb suckers fessed up. There's a lot of them! Me included. I actually managed to distort my gums with my thumb sucking and my teeth at the top are about 9mm more prominent that the bottom. So no I would never let any of my children suck their thumbs!!! Two of mine didn't try and the two that did I gave dummies and they gave them up around 2. They all have lovely straight teeth unlike me

ExecutiveDiamondBossBabeHun · 14/06/2018 14:58

PS the amount of infections and throat issues I had as a child was ridiculous. Children are not known for fastidious hygiene Hmm

MilkRunningOutAgain · 14/06/2018 15:02

My thumbsucker is 15, was sucking his thumb since the day he was born, and yes he slept wonderfully and still does. But his teeth are sticky out, so it can be a real problem. He is a really anxious child and so on the whole I think it has helped him. He does not suck his thumb in public, has not since he started school, but does when he is tired in the evenings. He says he really misses it when he goes away, or when we have visitors, as he feels constrained not to suck, which is also a problem. But given his levels of intensity and anxiety, I still think it’s a good thing.

MilkRunningOutAgain · 14/06/2018 15:04

But he has never had any infections/throat problems, in fact he is one of those children with serial 100% school attendance certificates, and has not had a cold since he was 3.

SoupDragon · 14/06/2018 15:05

We think he'll grow out of it

Yeah... I thought that too.

The only thing that stopped DS1 was the special brace he had to fix the dental/jaw problems caused by the thumb sucking. It meant he couldn’t get it in his mouth any more. Same for DD. This was private treatment from age 7 and very expensive.

SoupDragon · 14/06/2018 15:07

As an aside, it doesn’t just affect the teeth but can impact on how the jaws grow too. If a thumb is always in, the jaws are never closed together properly. Mouth breathing has the same effect so it’s not just thumbs.

Flicketyflack · 14/06/2018 15:10

I sucked my thumb,DS sucks his finger.
I had orthodontic work and would still be happy to suck my thumb again. My Mum tried everything to stop me & I did when I was ten and I decided tooSmile

Imo there are many more things to worry about Grin