To delay DS's therapy until after summer?

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Trying to organise the required lots of therapy for the coming year, I've been given a timetable and asked to say when we are free. All hypothetical because one is dependent on the other!

He has speech therapy once a week during term time.
He had physio once a week for 6 months, this has now dropped to once every two weeks.
I need to organise occupational therapy for him and they want to have it once a week.

Can't be on the same day as physio as he would be too exhausted to benefit. Not sure about it being after speech therapy for the same reason. We travel everywhere by public transport so a 45 minute speech therapy takes 1.5 hours and 45 minutes physio takes 2.5 hours. Younger DD has to tag along to everything and does so mainly without complaint but it means that she can't do activities or meet with friends which is beginning to bother her as the others in her class are now meeting up after school etc. Other three days are a no-go because I work.

If they can't give him a session which is convenient for me i.e. coincides with the bus timetable and physio (i.e. alternate weeks) and not right in the middle of the afternoon would it be totally unreasonable of me to refuse to consider it until after the October half term because of the weather or insist on waiting until a convenient slot comes up?

I wasn’t suggesting that the volunteer drivers actually attended the appointments! They just act as a free taxi service. Might be worth finding out if there is any local service even if it was for just some of the appointments. My parents are very rural and it’s a well used service.

I see what you mean. I thought you meant to take DS there and back.
I know the physio is doing him good because we've seen a huge improvement. Less convinced that the OT will be useful but we won't know if we don't try.

Yet again an underlying dh problem.

On appointment days why can’t he take the bus to work and you have the car

Also loads of families are too busy with work etc to be able to do play dates in the week and therefore they are at weekends. I’d organise a couple of weekend play dates for your daughter when you are both around so you husband looks after your sun.

Or is it possible to do any of the appointment at a weekend so husband can take him

Second car is not possible for several reasons. We did look into it last year.

The money you are spending, the time you are wasting in transport etc, the need to run for flaming buses... why are THESE reasons not more of a family priority?

This situation is not sustainable. you need another car, or DH needs to get a job where he can take public transport

I'd check what format they're doing it in - round here you get a block of speech (excuse me while I pee myself laughing because we've been on the bloody waiting list for ages) or OT and then you go back onto a waiting list for your next block - so if they do similar in your area you could possibly alternate the blocks over.

Or ask if there are different venues you can choose between that might be on easier public transport routes? I know they do a lot of the therapy DD2 is waiting for at our local care centre - but actually if I was reliant on public transport... another site slightly further out would probably be much easier for us.

Or I'd be asking that OT does just work WITH you slightly and alternate with the physio "off weeks" to be honest... I've generally found most departments to be very helpful once you get through the waiting list maze and actually to speaking to real human people to be fair - they do generally seem to get that you're trying to spread yourself all over the place and do the best you can but that sometimes stuff has to give a little bit.

Hmm, your DH being ill has caused you to cancel what you had planned for your DD, but he won't let you facilitate playdates for her. He sounds a bit selfish tbh.

You don't say how why DD goes with you. Is she taken out of school? Are these straight after school? Does she do after school clubs?

You have a number of possible solutions here:

1. Get a second car (you don't say why it's not possible).
2. Defer the appointments so your DD gets a better summer holiday - but that will still leave you juggling things next school year.
3. Arrange things for your DD with the other parents.
4. Move to live nearer the larger school, change schools for both your DC. That will mean that it will be easier for you in the many years to come.

3 really is possible you know. Generally speaking, if your DD has good friends at school then people would be willing to have her over after school occasionally. Confide in some of the other mums (it will get around to the rest of the mums fairly quickly!) and say how hard it is for DD because of your situation. Ask if they would mind occasionally having your DD over so that she doesn't have to get dragged to these appointments all the time.

4 might seem like overkill, but it sounds as though there will be on going issues. If therapies will continue for years, this really should be considered while the DC are young enough for it to be less of a big deal.

Is your husband's workplace inaccessible by public transport and/or walking?

If so, fine. If not, he needs to put his children first and give up the car on appointment days.

By push for the SLT to be delivered in school (I chose SLT as it's weekly term time so biggest commitment and is already delivered in school setting) I meant:

Discuss with your SLT and if necessary their manager the possibility of moving venue to see if they have any flexibility.

Are children attending at other school getting their SLT in their own school? Sounds like so. How does the service ensure their provision is equitable if some children get it in school and others do not?

If you son is missing school that is a problem if he is attending after school he will be fatigued and gain less from therapy.

At annual review of EHCP get wording altered to SLT in school.

If you decide to try this and meet resistance it would be better to post in SEN section with your locality to get best advice about local parent partnership/support groups

How does the service ensure their provision is equitable if some children get it in school and others do not?
Children from outside the main school get first choice of the session times because children in school can go for a lesson. DS for example would have to miss 3 lessons. It is agreed by all that he cannot afford to miss any because he's at such a risk of falling behind.
There are three village schools that are referred to the town school.

We live in village, direct bus line goes through town (SLT) to city (OT and physio). So we are genuinely on the easiest links for everything.

No public transport close to his work, it's not feasible to train and walk but he will usually take train and bike in good weather unless he has to go out on visits or meetings. He has been looking for another job, but no luck yet.

Doesnt sound very equitable.

Is SLT through NHS or a school employee or a company/charity commisoned by LA?

I'm a NHS SLT, and have had to travel to see just one child in a school as it's out of borough they live in and have friends who I trained with who work rurally and travel to teeny schools to see just one or two children.

Another thought, have you had a TAC(team around the child) /IEP meeting ? Could your request all involved professionals get together to meet and set out priorities? Sometimes it's not clear to each individual what other input is going on and the burden that is on you in terms of appointments. It could help instigate joint appts or staggered blocks of therapy.