MIL and father's day card

[Socksdroppedonthestairs]

How would you feel about this? I have two dcs, both ks2 age so old enough to want to choose and buy their own cards for dh for father's day (which incidentally they did at the weekend, along with a present for him, with my support/ money). We arrived home from work/ school today to find MIL had shoved a bag through the door with a note on it to dcs "this is a card and gift for you to give to daddy for fathers day" (gift was a fridge magnet). Without any back story, how would you feel about this and what is your take on it?

Surely it’s ‘the more, the merrier’ with presents and cards?

I’d likely call/text mil and say you’re happy to add it to the lovely gifts/cards the kids have bought.

I always think of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day as opportunities to celebrate a person’s parenting role- in a much broader context than ‘only my actual birth parent’ way. If MIL wants to celebrate her son’s parenting role, why not? Is there a prescribed limit to who or how much someone can be celebrated? Not in my book.

Even if you believe someone is acting out of passive aggression, the best response is to overwhelm them with kindness and excitement. They either hate it (and fail in their agenda to hurt you) or they go with it, and become a better person. Win/win.

Add to the present pile! Eh it’s not Christmas. If I presented my OH with a fridge magnet he would throw it in the bin. He can’t stand pointless presents! He would call it tat. He prefers hand made cards and a homemade cake. I don’t go for commercialised nonsense and get piles of presents for Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Very happy with a little gesture of some daffodils.

I can't understand why other people think it's sweet either, to me she's treating you like a child and assuming you're not capable of buying a card and present, she's also taking the pleasure away from her own grandchildren, whose dad it actually is.
Personally I would ignore her, shove it in a drawer and wait for her to ask for it back. Does she choose his Christmas and birthday presents for you too?

Surely it's a nice thing?

Why would some of you give the cards/presents back?

My MIL does this. She'll say things like 'I know you're sooo busy I bet you haven't even remembered'. I have never forgotten any birthdays/ fathers days. She still thinks of us as children, not adults in our 30s. She also asked me last year if my husband needs underwear buying for him as he hadn't asked her for any for years. WTF?

A bit presumptuous, maybe, but does it really matter?
Don’t “just give it back”, that would be horrendously rude and unnecessary

Thank her, tell her they've already got stuff so you're saving the card, let them give him the present.

Are you very busy OP? Maybe she was trying to help you out?

What's your relationship like with MIL?

If I had a good relationship with MIL in all other respects I would think she was doing a nice thing for me and her GC.

All comes down to the relationship you have with your MIL and the type of person she is. It’s either kind and helpful or intrusive and rude- only you can know her motivation based on what she’s like.

The note being addressed to the kids and bypassing you entirely makes me think the latter!

I'd be tempted to give them back & say that you don't need them.

What do the kids think?

I’d be annoyed that she assumed I couldn’t organise it , especially as it was addressed to my children

I'd just tell her, thanks for that, we added it to some things we'd got the day before.
Not a stress.

Someone else has already suggested it but my first thought was get your DH to send it to his dad as his card and gift.