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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For wanting to pay someone to "wait on" at my sons Holy Communion

27 replies

stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 13:01

Thought it wold be a good idea...as we have lots of family and friends coming over to our house visit for the afternoon and I dont want to spend my time tidying up when i could be with all of them.

Im not trying to make some sort of impression, just think that it makes sense.

and it would only be for say the afternoon, Keeping the buffet fresh, serving drinks,clearing up dishes, glasses etc and generally tidying up etc.

DH thinks im being a complete snob??

OP posts:
hertsnessex · 22/05/2007 13:02

if you know ppl wont muck in and help, then id hire someone.

cx

MrsBadger · 22/05/2007 13:02

why not just get caterers in and be done with it? much easier.

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 13:04

It might be a bit too expensive for full catering mrsB.........My MIL is going to do the buffet..she has loats of experience at that type of stuff, and she knows girls who work legitimately at functions.

OP posts:
katelyle · 22/05/2007 13:08

You'll only end up doing it yourself if you don't get someone else. Is there a local catering college or 6th form college where they do hotel manangement? Some of their students might like the experience and it might be cheaper!

thedogsbollox · 22/05/2007 13:12

We've done this before (going rate in SE london/kent borders) was around £7 an hour, so for 2 people for an afternoon you are looking at around £50, which is in my book a blurdy bargain!

They leave the kitchen spotless too!

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 13:13

I have a few people in mind who would be more than willing, its just DP..............he thinks the whole idea is snobby...............maybe he should carry the binbag around all afternoon

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Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 13:14

thanks TDB was thinkin about £6 p/hr. And we would probably only need one. We will have about 40 - 60 guests at most i would think..................

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 22/05/2007 13:18

stoppinattwo, do it if you can afford it! We had ds2's communion on Saturday and I'm not over it yet! Didn't help that ds3 was sick.

dmo · 22/05/2007 13:27

well if dh thinks your a snob pay him £50 to do it (remind him you want a sparkly kitchen) i'm sure he will be on the phone hiring somebody soon

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 13:31

hee dmo...........I wouldnt give him 5pence to do it .....i know what his cleaning is like

OP posts:
CODalmighty · 22/05/2007 13:32

greta idea imo

tombley · 22/05/2007 13:38

Do it. I have hated every party we have ever had because DH is standing around drink in hand playing Host while I am refilling drinks, clearing plates, etc etc etc. Everyone says they will help but then they are having a good time and sort of ...forget (except my mum who is always saying , what about the cake, are you doing pudding now and other stressful and annoying comments.)
£50 is a bargain.

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 13:40

Right Im gonna tell that stupid man of mine.....................and go on a recruitment drive

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Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 13:42

and if anybody dares to tell my next door neighbour.........but then thats another story!!!!

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teafortwoandtwofortea · 22/05/2007 13:48

We had an awful time for DS1's baptism - way too much organising/clearing up. For DS2 I got cake for after the service and then told my friends family we'd love to celebrate with them but couldn't afford to feed them - then we picked a nice (think costa crossed with art gallery type cafe) place with reasonable prices and went for lucnch there while they paid there own way (we got a 'proper' cake for that bit too). Admittedly we did know that they were all in a position to be able to afford to go but it made our lives so much easier having other people to cook and clear up!

mellymell · 22/05/2007 13:57

Can speak from experience of last weekend when my ds got christened. My mum spent her whole time in the kitchen organising food and shooing me out at the same time. CAn't believe that she enjoyed herself and I felt terribly guilty about her working so hard. Next time (if there is a next time), I'm definitely getting caterers in so I don't have to worry. Definitly hire someone in - just takes the whole worry and hassle out of it and you get time to enjoy chatting to friends and family.

heifer · 22/05/2007 14:00

Go for it - you can then enjoy yourself swanning around playing the hostess with the mostess..

But your help must be dressed up as a butler.....

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 20:10

like this???

OP posts:
Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 20:11

OMG or like this

OP posts:
hayes · 22/05/2007 20:14

could your/his sister or friend not help you out?

morningpaper · 22/05/2007 20:17

Actually I don't like this AT ALL

I think it spoils things

I also think that mothers-in-law and others like making themselves 'useful' and like being allowed to busy themselves helping you - it also means that they aren't obliged to socialise with people they don't know. It's always the shy people and older people that end up doing all the clearing up at my parties - and often having a really good time together doing it.

I find the 'hired help' thing a bit Margo and Jerry

Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 20:27

heee lol at Margo and Jerry..............oh i am sooooo margo

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Original poster
stoppinattwo · 22/05/2007 20:30

infact i could wear one of those lovely house coats and those turban thingies

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Ladymuck · 22/05/2007 20:35

Well my mother would help at a push, my MIL not at all. Certainly having one person on standby must make sense, especially if dh is not the sort to be taking a lead. I hate parties where people have travelled some way to see us and then I don't get any time to spend with them.

If I were you I wouldn't get them dressed up in black or anything, let them blend in and have a drink if there is down time. I had 2 helpers for the dcs naming ceremony and I doubt most of the guest realised that they were paid help rather than merely v. helpful friends.

Ceolas · 22/05/2007 20:35

It's obviously up to you, but I think that it would make things feel 'stiff' in your own house.

I wouldn't like it or do it myself.