To report this elderly driver to the DVLA?

[Omzlas]

Long time lurker - first time poster

Back story:
I have an elderly relative, let's call him Bernard. Early 80's, he has severe arthritis, osteoporosis, cataracts, fibromyalgia as well as a few other things. He takes a good cocktail of medication each day. Bernard has a car but isn't confident at all in his driving abilities these days but was a bit of a car fanatic in the past

Due to various disabilities, he can't lift his arms further than about 35 degrees (can't even get them out in front of him, zombie style), can't even drive '10 to 2' style and is unable to navigate left hand turns

Bernard regularly cuts across lanes, believing that he is in the right because 'that lane marking isn't correct, I'm in the right'. Bernard's reflexes are shot, he can't react to cars changing lanes etc

My AIBU
Would I be a complete cow to report this to the DVLA? AFAIK, Bernard has made them aware of his arthritis but nothing more, despite me telling him that he needs to. His condition isn't going to improve and he's aware of this but he's said that he won't consider stopping driving as he sees this as his last shred of independence. Bearing in mind that he's unable to do basic things like watering his plants, washing clothes or vacuuming, he gets his grandchildren to do things like this for him. I've mentioned stopping driving to him but his reply is along the lines of "I need to drive" but in the next breath says "it isn't like I drive far, I usually only go out once a week.

His driving is terrifying and if I ever go out with him, we take my car. I genuinely fear for our safety but I'm also worried that he'll end up hurting someone and/order himself.

Thanks if you've made it this far!

REPORT no question. They wont just take it off him on your say he will have a medical. They will find him unsafe which is not your fault. I understand it is hard for him to give up his independence but he is being selfish. Why should someone lose their child, brother, sister, parent etc so he can drive.

As all others have said, you must report him, even though I completely understand your feelings about it.

It IS a huge part of being independent, my mother was like that and even when she was in a hospice still talked about getting back to driving.

But you could soften the blow by encouraging him to consider money he'll save on petrol, insurance etc (and from the sale of the car?) as being money for taxis instead. If he could get the Uber app, he could still find it easy to get about.

Please be careful when approaching the gp, my dad asked elderly relative's gp to ask him to come in (under pretence of a routine examination) and check him over as he was concerned he was getting forgetful and the gp showed the relative my dads letter. The relative was furious and it soured their relationship. Just make sure they understand the need for total confidentiality.

Report him immediately before he kills someone

The problem is when you have drivers like my mother.

Medically fit to drive aged 74.

Passed her test aged 63.

Convinced she must have given the examiner a good blow job to pass. She is dreadful, Awful. Abysmal. Things include:

1. Getting into the car I regularly find her rear view mirror pointing at the car roof

1. She once ran a red light and blamed it on me talking

1. Turning right out of a cul de sac onto a not particularly narrow road, she mounted the grass verge

She's disabled with arthritis but this does not stop her from driving and she has a mobility car. This does give her the only independence she has.......but she'll tell you she's never had an accident (true) and she passed first time (also true)

But she's just a very bad driver. I wont let her drive me. ANYWHERE

Re the who’s more dangerous, young or old? issue .... for a start it doesn’t matter, And secondly the statistics are all dependant on how you view them.

Younger drivers may tend to speed but older drivers do many less miles on average than younger ones and still manage to rack up the collisions. Mile for mile there’s not much to chose between boy racer or elderly and infirm. Neither should have their license IMO.

My mother was driving safely and well to a fit 85 until she had an eye problem which didn’t affect her vision to the front or side, just made looking up to her rear view mirror more difficult,so she was moving her head up in away that meant she was taking her eyes off the road in front. Her reflexes in general also seemed slower. Driving was so important to her sense of independence but I persuaded her to stop by taking her out to a private bit of land and showing her just how far she could have travelled in that time - enough for a child or an animal to run out. I also showed her that running the car, on a per use basis , was hugely more expensive than the very good local taxi service.

It was a difficult conversation but when she did sell the car, she admitted that she felt a sense of relief.

DW’s aunt’s car had dents all over and they weren’t all the Other Bugger’s fault. Her daughters persuaded her to give up, and alas, that is when she went into her decline. But she died with no serious accident and no death on her conscience. It just had to be.

Taking the keys wouldn't really be an option, the car is a mobility vehicle.

Bernard wouldn't even consider having a scooter (I've brought it up a few times) because he doesn't consider himself 'old' 'infirm' or 'dangerous' and 'only old people have mobility scooters'. Apparently.
Cue lots of eye rolling and trying to reason on my part, to no avail.

I also approached it from the perspective of the extra money he'd have and would be able to catch taxis instead AND have money left over each month. I've even broken it down to 'a taxi to Asda would be £8, Home the same, 8 times a month is £64, blah blah blah'. No difference. He puts SO much value in having a car, it's unreal.

I appreciate all your comments though, I definitely won't be sitting on my hands any more and I'll be making a few calls

Not wishing to upset anyone - but the older generation who have mobility cars should really have regular checks to see if instead of the car they had the mobility rate of DLA in money. I know sometimes the car is used by the carer but it is also true that sometimes it is used by the person with disability themselves.
Driving is a responsibility not a right. It should be possible to take action against those who are unfit to drive.
There are organisations who will take people out to check if they are fit/able to drive.

Would that work if it came from a professional rather than a member of the family. ?

Please report him for every ones sake .
Is there some one that can get a moterbilty car to drive him around , take him to the shops ?
I do not drive and yet have been in 4 car accidents 3 involved elderly people losing control non of whom were driving the car I was in . , fortunately none of them were serious. ( The other was a muppet using his phone while driving )

"Not wishing to upset anyone - but the older generation who have mobility cars should really have regular checks to see if instead of the car they had the mobility rate of DLA in mone"

This should apply to all ages!

Yes do it. I watched an elderly lady hit and damage 3 cars in a car park last week whilst reversing, manoeuvring and driving up the middle of the road, rather than on the left. I was nearly the 4th.
We were shouting and waving to her to stop and she had no idea, completely oblivious.
She was so indignant when the security guard dashed out and eventually stopped her, she didn't even know she had hit 3 cars. Bloody ridiculous she was driving.

Yes report. I've known a few elderly and poorly sighted individuals continue to drive 'only locally' and imagine they are safe. They have banged into garden walls and even relied on their passengers eyes and alertness! Scary.
One had to be reported (now uses taxis for the small journeys). One is at odds with their family still.
It is sheer luck nobody has been killed by them (yet). The DVLC will investigate.

I do not understand why driving isn’t retested. Cars and road change so much over a lifetime never mind ability of the driver.

My mil was reported by my bil. She claimed she was fine, but kept losing consciousness, but never had whilst driving!! She therefore thought she was ok. Jesus wept, she was the world’s worst driver anyway, tailgating, revving the engine whilst a young horse pranced nervously and his young handler asked her to pop the car into neutral for two seconds so they could squeeze past on a narrow country lane. Terrifying. Mil was furious to be reported, but she was desperately unsafe.

My DH deals with multiple RTCs, some minor ones recently involved elderly drivers who had all ‘mistaken the gas for the brake’. They ended up in various gardens, mostly.

My elderly friend, 72, was bumped into by an even more elderly driver. They pulled into a side street to exchange details. He promptly smacked into her again, blaming his slip on shoes each time. Bloody good job she’d leapt out of the car as he shoved it into a bollard. Fortunately, she’s physically fit, still rides daily.

Please report him, he could have a serious accident.

I have same problem with mother in law.
Classic situation. She is 74. Crashed into a garden because she mistook the gas for the brake.
I have tried to report her anonymously on the DVLA website but there is no facility to do this. If she ever found out I reported her there woukd be major arguments so I can’t take the risk of giving my details to DVLA or recorded call.

It’s horrible but you must report. He’s putting other road users at risk.

I knew an elderly gentleman when I was nursing who relied on his car to visit his wife. Like your relative he was in poor health but still drove the 10-15 mins every day to see her. We were all terrified he would cause an accident and begged his daughter to fly back to the uk and speak with her father about this. She refused and he eventually drove into a bus which could have been a lot more serious than it thankfully was. It was then that his daughter returned and negotiated with him to stop driving.

You must take this seriously. I know it’s hard when it is threatening independence but it’s not only your relative at risk. I would report as soon as possible.

Yesterday, an elderly driver ignored the red traffic light and pulled out to go left whilst I was turning right on a green filter. Another near miss.

It is not ageist at all, as people get older, their reactions are not as quick, and they may have age related conditions (Atheritis, Dementia) which prevents them from driving safely. As a lot of people have given account of this on here. I would report him to the DVLSA.

My daughter died from leukaemia. She is buried in a huge cemetery in Glasgow and near her resting place is that of an 18-year-old girl, who was killed when an elderly driver mistook reverse for 1st gear in a petrol garage forecourt and killed her. PLEASE report anyone who is compromised and should not be driving.

DFiL was just today telling us about a lady of 90 who he encountered recently, who had 'forgotten how to stop the car'. She and her friend had turned up two weeks early for the open gardens thing - apparently her friend was extremely worried about the journey home

Mobility scooters are definitely not just for old people. Get him to look at something like the TGA SuperSport - v good off and on road, and sporty styling. (Spot the person who has been known to work on mobility scooter copy!). There's a guy who whizzes about on one of those near to us - it's definitely not your stereotypical mobility scooter.

But definitely, definitely report him. He could so easily kill someone.

@user1494667160 reporting anonymously to the DVLA really is possible - I did it. You have to leave your contact info but it absolutely does not get through to the driver. Nobody in DHs family knows it was me, they all suspect each other, and they are all hugely relieved someone did it before he killed someone.

In November just gone, my MIL's best friend and her sister accepted a lift from an elderly neighbour. It had been snowing (rural Sweden) and the neighbour misjudged a turning, lost control of the car went through a barrier down a ledge. All three were killed instantly. Found out later the family of the neighbour had suggested he give up driving as his eye sight and coordination had deteriorated but he refused.

Please report him.