To report this elderly driver to the DVLA?

[Omzlas]

Long time lurker - first time poster

Back story:
I have an elderly relative, let's call him Bernard. Early 80's, he has severe arthritis, osteoporosis, cataracts, fibromyalgia as well as a few other things. He takes a good cocktail of medication each day. Bernard has a car but isn't confident at all in his driving abilities these days but was a bit of a car fanatic in the past

Due to various disabilities, he can't lift his arms further than about 35 degrees (can't even get them out in front of him, zombie style), can't even drive '10 to 2' style and is unable to navigate left hand turns

Bernard regularly cuts across lanes, believing that he is in the right because 'that lane marking isn't correct, I'm in the right'. Bernard's reflexes are shot, he can't react to cars changing lanes etc

My AIBU
Would I be a complete cow to report this to the DVLA? AFAIK, Bernard has made them aware of his arthritis but nothing more, despite me telling him that he needs to. His condition isn't going to improve and he's aware of this but he's said that he won't consider stopping driving as he sees this as his last shred of independence. Bearing in mind that he's unable to do basic things like watering his plants, washing clothes or vacuuming, he gets his grandchildren to do things like this for him. I've mentioned stopping driving to him but his reply is along the lines of "I need to drive" but in the next breath says "it isn't like I drive far, I usually only go out once a week.

His driving is terrifying and if I ever go out with him, we take my car. I genuinely fear for our safety but I'm also worried that he'll end up hurting someone and/order himself.

Thanks if you've made it this far!

Please please please report this to the DVLA. Do a google search for the the Campaign for Poppy-Arabella's Law to see what damage people driving like this can do. It's devastating!

My Dad is Bernard.
Diagnosed with Alzheimer's 3 years ago via MRI. However, he passes every verbal test with the highest scores, and still speaks many languages fluently.
He can't remember what he did yesterday, or last week. He vividly recalls incidents that occurred in the 1950's.
They will not take his licence, so my DM hides the car keys. It's ridiculous.

Agree you should report.

And maybe think through what support he might need when he stops driving to get around the place. Mobility scooter? Family and friends helping out with lifts for shopping etc?

You must report, for everyone's sakes, including his!

Please report him.

You can report online. Do it OP. This is terrifying

I had this problem a few years back with my father. I ended up parking his car so close to a wall that he couldn't get in it to stop him. We then tried to persuade him to buy a mobility scooter, he finally agreed and when it came he loved it as it actually gave him more independence than the car eg you can take a scooter right into a shop unlike a car. Could you maybe suggest this to Bernard.

Please report him today. How will you feel if he kills a child and you haven't reported him?

Report him. I've recently had a discussion about this with my dad. He accepts that he's not safe anymore and has handed over his car keys. It's sad for him, he's feeling down about it, but at least he's not going to end up being responsible for a tragedy.

It seems cruel to report him but he could kill someone. I was once waiting at a bus stop when an elderly driver stopped to ask directions. He misjudged where to stop, mounted the pavement at speed and mowed down the steel bus stop post, wrecking his car and narrowly missing me and a young boy. If we hadn't leapt out of the way he'd have seriously injured us.

Please report. My DM (69) was killed last year in a head on crash by a pensioner drifting into incoming traffic. Please do something.

I’m sorry for your loss CPtart

Another one for reporting. I had a family member in a similar situation - he couldn't walk properly or move his knees quickly, and he had sight problems. The family all got on at him but it was OK because he only popped to the shops once a week or so. Then one day his granddaughter happened to be a few cars behind as he drove through town. He had so many near misses and was driving so slowly that she phoned her mum and told her as soon as she got home.
By the next day her mother had removed the car keys from his house. He was cross, but at least he never killed anyone, which was a definite possibility otherwise.

CPTart

God almighty. Do you really need to ask,? Report him before he kills someone.

Can you mention your worries to his GP? If the GP shares your concerns he can report in his professional capacity.

Can you support Bernard in getting around once he is unable to drive? If you can provide or organise alternatives he may be more willing to give up voluntarily.

Another one to say report. I had to stop DF driving after a series of strokes and almost dying. I bullied his doctor into telling him (She was very reluctant). At this point, he needed a zimmer, took about 10 minutes to walk the 10 or so steps to his toilet, then had to rest there for half an hour before he could walk back. But he thought he could get out the front door, along the path, down a dogleg of narrow steps and along the pavement and safely drive his car. I lost DM in a car accident. I didn't want a matching set and told him so. His reaction 'You fucking bitch'. He did give up his car, though.

I also helped a friend get the car away from her DM and we sold it for her (with written permission), but she constantly said that she only drove locally and very slowly and that she was fine to drive. She had dementia and was very frail.

I drive. I love to drive. But I will quit driving when I am 70, regardless of my health, because I have no right to put other people at risk because my reflexes have slowed down.

Hide his car keys and give him the phone number for a reliable local taxi firm. If he only goes out once a week locally then it will be much cheaper for him to ditch the car and pay for the occasional taxi fair anyway.

Is Bernard your dad OP?

Mine too, eventually at 82 with Alzheimers he had a funny turn and couldn't remember where he was or why he was there.

Thank god he decided then he didn't feel like driving anymore. Mum still lets him put e Dar in the garage from the drive, he can do it perfectly but he isn't fit to be on the road.

CPtart. So sorry for your loss
Andrew. I’m sorry about your wife.

Wow.

Sorry to all of you who have had near misses or actual hits with elderly drivers.

I'm so sorry.

OP, you won't be being awful, reporting him is the act of a responsible citizen and a loving relative. Imagine how he will feel if he kills a friend's grand-child. Or injures himself so that no only can he not drive, he can't walk or wash himself either.

We had to report my MIL after she pulled out of a side road and went into another driver on a dual carriageway. Both cars were written off but no one badly hurt, thank God. She simply would not admit she was not able to drive anymore. Please report before someone gets maimed or killed.

Another point to consider: if Bernard does kill someone he will probably be jailed for dangerous driving and could die in prison. Not how any of us would wish to end our lives.