Well I didn't handle that well

[Inthewrongcrap]

I'll keep it short.

Basically a friend who is flaky, lets me down and who I've caught out in lies.
We had a fallout a few weeks ago and they promised they wouldn't flake again.

I love this person but it's very trying at times. So friend planned to come round today after the fall out. I frustatingly rearranged plans (only day they could do).

I got a phone call about 10:30pm. Friends Dad is ill and they're en route to Milton Keynes. I'm medical....asked general concerned questions....but something didn't make sense. Friend got defensive and said some quite cold things.

It stung. I called them an arse and said that because there Dad is ill doesn't mean it's ok to talk, treat me like that.

I got....'Are you being serious' and phone put down.

I'm always in the wrong, always on the back foot with this person but feel shitty because Dad is ill.

Why are you friends with them?

Dump the friend.

And I doubt the dad is ill - that's why friend became defensive when questioned.

What did she say that sounded wrong?

You are medical but you don't know the correct their? What do you do in medicine?

To be honest I don’t think she is a real friend to you.
It’s not nice about her dad but given past behaviours you have every right to question her.
As for people questioning your spelling, pay no attention

Whatshall
If I ever need open heart surgery remind me to pick the surgeon with the best grasp of English Grammar not the one with the best outcomes for that type of surgery.

Because everyone knows you should only trust a medical professional after an extensive grammar test. 🙄

Because everyone knows you should only trust a medical professional after an extensive grammar test.

Yes, I only want an educated medical professional myself. You lot can have the ones that couldn't pass their exams.

Because they'res lots of history

They started a business a few years ago and that's when things really changed. I've tried to be patient, understanding and supportive. Have seen first hand how stressful it is for them

But I have a high pressured job too, single mum with two kids, and im fed up.

I just feel a bit shitty because if Dad is ill then...I don't know

@Haffiana it’s fairly ironic that you think someone who couldn’t pass exams would be a practicing medic when you’re so particular about intelligence

I'm a bit confused. Do you think their dad wasn't really ill? If so I wouldn't be friends with someone who would make up such an elaborate and inappropriate lie. If he was genuinely ill I think you were unreasonable to start probing and asking questions when she was en route to see her sick dad.

You're right though that even if their dad is ill, it doesn't make it OK to be arsy to you. They have form for being a crap friend. See them for what they are and don't go running back to them.

If this is a partner, then I'd really let them go. You need someone you can depend on OP.

The trouble with crying wolf too often is that you won't be believed when there is an issue. So there could be something wrong with their parent or perhaps nothing at all.

What are the good bits of your friend? Are they worth keeping in your life given all this angst they are causing? I am guessing not. If you agree after a good think about it, it's time to distance yourself. This is relatively easy to do where a flake is concerned.

Tbh if someone tells you they are taking their dad to hospital it is a bit off to ask them a bunch of questions to see if you can catch them out as to whether they are telling the truth. Friend might be a dick but I think I would have answered coldly to such questions too.

Because they'res lots of history

This latest contribution to the ongoing grammar debate should derail the thread completely!

I think it was you that was unkind on the phone, provoking her to to get angry because she is in the middle of a medical emergency and you are testing her to see if she is lying. Do you not see that might come across as being incredibly unreasonable and unkind?

The friendship is dead in the water either way. You don't trust or believe her, she thinks you are a bad friend for treating her this way on what sounds like a very testing day among others.

If she is indeed a pathological liar I assume you wouldn't want her as a friend, and if she isn't you have misjudged this very badly.

No need to post on here, I doubt she will contact you again.

Tbh if someone tells you they are taking their dad to hospital it is a bit off to ask them a bunch of questions to see if you can catch them out as to whether they are telling the truth

I took it as the OP was asking questions to try and help the friend.

Yes my grammar can be bad🙈

No it doesn't affect my work lol

I don't think they lied which is why I feel shitty

Sorry I'm day off and inbetween skip runs

YABU. You should have erred on the side of caution incase she was telling the truth. If her Dad really is ill giving her the third degree then insulting her is not on. It would have been more adult just not to make further arrangements with her.

This latest contribution to the ongoing grammar debate should derail the thread completely!

I'm thinking the OP did it on purpose to taunt her Grammar Nazi Goader(?)

Oh so you don’t think they did lie too. You really need to apologise big style.

Plenty of people go through hard times, that does not make them flaky Op just because they are unable to accommodate your expectations.