To think children should ask before running up and stroking a dog?!

[lovetheskinyourein]

I have a dog who is great with children, she loves them and would never do anything untoward to a child who comes up and says hello... HOWEVER after being in the park Saturday, I had 6 (!!) different children just come up and stroke my dog. (we were sat having a coffee and my dog was sitting behind my chair in the shade so very easy to sneak up behind me and say hello!)
It's all very well for a dog like mine- however I've had rescues before who may not have been so happy about it, and to be honest, ANY dog could snap if taken by surprise?!
AIBU to think that you should teach children to ask if it's ok before going full steam ahead and stroking a strangers dog?!

I know a few staffis and they are lovely dogs. The reason I’m sometimes wary with them is because IF they are in a bad mood that day and IF they decide to take a chunk out of someone, they can do a lot of damage. It has nothing to do with their personality, just the strength of their jaws.

That’s clearly a different situation, Rhubarb.

I had parents saying this to their children who were not scared, in fact they wanted to come and say hello to the dogs.

No it wasn’t “clearly”. It wasn’t clear from your post that the children, (whose parents you were addressing), weren’t scared of dogs. It read to me as if they were maybe acting scared and the parents were, clumsily, trying to tell you that. Now you’ve explained that wasn’t the case.

Ok.

I have a dog that looks like a cute fluffy teddy bear at the moment ( he needs a strip). He attracts a fair amount of attention every time we go out and is absolutely lovely with people and dogs.

Which is just as well as I've lost count of how many children and adults will come and pet him unasked faces often close to this. He hates being touched on the head by strangers and will always duck but they never take his very clear hint and I have to rescue him time after time.

The ones who know dogs always ask and he loves the ones who find that spot just behind his ears...

I just don’t happen to think that a parent telling their children that they, the children, don’t like dogs is a good thing, but of course your opinion might be different.

If, like my dd, a small child is wary of a large dog which is approx the same weight as they are (or heavier), then that just shows they have common sense. They aren’t cuddly teddy bears. They are animals and my 3.5 yo being scared of the larger ones (she’s fine now with little lapdog types) is more than fine by me. I grew up with big dogs. I know they can be lovely. But dd doesn’t have any interaction with dogs at all really, so I’d rather she was wary of them than trying to treat them like living cuddlies. Not a good idea.

I've taught my kids never to go near a dog they don't know, even with the owners permission. For dogs we do know, not to go near them unless an adult is present and don't touch the dog unless an adult says its ok.

YANBU. I have a jack Russell. He is very cute but doesn't like people he doesn't know. I always keep him tightly on lead in public. Some kids asked once if they could stroke him and I hated saying no, because I myself love stroking other dogs, but I knew it would end badly. Whenever I see kids running along a path towards us, usually with parents a bit behind. I get really anxious in case they approach my dog.

Would you say you are encouraging your children to be wary/scared, Rhubarb?

As a childminder I have had so many children who think they can just go up and touch dogs withought asking. I always stress to them how important it is to ask the owner first (eventually they learn). I also know how annoying it can be as a dog owner myself, to have children come up to my dog and chase him around because he looks friendly, which he is bit they don't know that.
Also, other dog owners who think their dog is, oh so cute and let them off the lead to sniff and jump all over my dog while I'm trying to walk him on the lead, with the phrase "aw he just wants to play". Tuff, my dog isn't interested. He is usually very wary of other dogs as he is quite protective of the children I have with me. Withought any children there he tends to just wander past other dogs as though they're not there 😂

No, because my dd is scared of dogs. So I don’t really have to do anything to discourage her from approaching them. I love them, so I will always stroke them if the owner says it’s ok, but dd hides behind dh or me.

The younger dc is still a baby, but if he turns out to love dogs and wants to play with them, I’ll be drilling it into him that he must not approach strange dogs and must always ask the owner if it’s ok to stroke them. Also to check with dh or me first.

So, it depends what you mean by “encouraging them to be scared of dogs” really. I would warn them of the dangers, (as above), just as I would with horses, which can kick and do terrible damage, cattle in fields, busy roads, fire and other hazards. I think it would be negligent not to tbh.

I know this because I grew up with lots of animals. It’s because I know animals well that I would be wary and respectful of them.

I don't think either party should be touching ( or licking or sniffing) the other without permission.
I think some dog owners need to be more careful when their dog is close to young or disabled children eg placing dog close to a child's pram because those children may not understand not touching.

The adults who let their dogs bound up to people without re-calling them were probably kids who were never taught good boundarys around strange dogs. It’s a viscous circle.

It makes the job of teaching little one’s the correct way to behave so much harder when they see so many adults not bothering to control their dogs.

YANBU. This drives me mad and it's irresponsible of the parents. I have a greyhound with a high prey drive that always wears a muzzle when we are out and I also have a poodle. My greyhound loves people and children and loves having a fuss. My poodle is very nervous and backs away from people she doesn't know.

When I walk down the street I can see people pulling children away and quite often hear them telling their child to stay away from the "nasty dog" (greyhound) However many people seem to think it's quite ok to let their child approach the "cute" dog. Even when I explain that she is nervous and tell them that they are very welcome to stroke the greyhound they persist in trying to grab my poodle!

I’ve stopped taking DDog to our local beer garden because of the number of children who will run up at her with their hands out. She is timid with strangers, fine if they stand there but not if they reach for her head. I would say more than half the children who approach to see her don’t ask first but come charging in. I don’t know if parents aren’t telling them not to touch dogs, or if they are ignoring what they are taught.

It’s a shame because we all enjoy going there, but I don’t want to risk DDog being spooked anymore and I don’t want her to bark and scare a child who ran at her.

It is vital for parents to teach children to ask before stroking a dog.

As the owner of a cute fluffy dog we get children wanting to stroke her all the time, which she loves. The vast majority ask before they touch her and I always say well done for asking.

I had one child (aged around 7/8) just come up and throw her arms around the dog's neck once - I was carrying her low in my arms and just didn't anticipate it.

Dog looked a bit taken aback by what, from the dog's point of view, could have been seen as an attack, but was fine when she realised it was just someone being friendly. Although the child did get a mini lecture from me on the dangers of not asking first.

If a dog bit a child in those circumstances it really wouldn't be the dog's fault, although I suspect most people would think it was. And no doubt the poor bloody dog would end up being pts.

. And no doubt the poor bloody dog would end up being pts.

The risk of this happening to a dog who was startled into snapping makes me feel sick. Poor dog :-(

I agree, I'm teaching my son to ask permission every time we see a person even if we've asked in the past - where we live we see a lot of the same dogs and owners but they might just not want to be stroked (Or kissed 🙄) that day!

I had a rescue Jack Russell that was very cute but not good with children, very nervous. Every time I took him outdoors he was muzzled. I would never have forgiven myself if he had spooked or be spooked by anyone. The muzzle had the added benefit that it let people think he may bite - though never would.

God some people shouldn't be allowed to have dogs, or kids for that matter. For any dumbarse one who decided to misread my post somehow as "it's always the dog owner's responsibility", that's not what I said. My point (and exactly what I actually fucking said, for the hard of thinking) was that your kids are your responsibility and your dogs are your responsibility. I'm a dog owner and a parent so I don't have a "side" here, just some common fucking sense, apparently lacking in a lot of the population here! Your dog, particularly if reactive should ALWAYS be within arms reach of you on a lead. It's your legal and moral responsibility to make sure it doesn't snap at anyone. Know your dog, know dog behaviour, be aware of your surroundings and don't take a potentially reactive dog ANYWHERE it might have access to a shopper brushing past or a kid falling over onto it or someone being able to sneak up on you unawares and hug it. Equally, and fucking obviously, teach your kid not to approach dogs without asking first. I usually do think "each to their own" and there's probably another (or several) valid interpretation or opinion on things, but I'm stuggling to see how anyone of normal intelligence can disagree with this basic concept tbh. Take responsibility for your dog/kid and keep it safe. It's not fucking rocket science!

I used to think it was basic common sense on the part of the parent(s) to tell their children not to approach and touch a dog without checking first that it is ok with the owner. But I've realised that it obviously isn't, judging by the number of times I've seen kids running up to dogs,even unattended ones tied up outside a shop. I know logically that someone wouldn't/shouldn't leave a dog who is likely to bite just because someone touches it,outside a shop on it's own,but kids can be a bit full-on and there's no saying what a normally docile,friendly dog might do if it is taken by surprise. I was always at great pains to impress upon my DD and later my DGD not to approach or touch a dog without it's owners consent. Unfortunately,not all parents are the same,and the sad thing is,that if a dog did snap at or bite an 'unauthorised' child,it would no doubt be the dog owner's fault.

I agree. We have taught our 5 year old that he must ask permission from the owner before touching any dog.

it's definitely the dog owner's job to make sure the dog is never in a position to be a danger to a stray child

I would say that pretty clearly says you feel the onus is on the dog owner, knob. You've been disagreed with. I disagree.

You seem to be having a bad day and are coming across pretty aggressive.

YANBU

Safety issues aside, it is just common courtesy! When we walk to school, we always see dogs being walked. My daughter has been taught to ask to stroke a dog. However, we see the same ones often, so we no longer ask to stroke, but would hope the owner would say not to go near if the dog was ill or injured or otherwise not its usual temperament.

We don't have dogs in our house as my DH was bitten badly and so was my DS. My DH was bitten by his family dog, and DS when he was at a friends house. So my DD is not used to them. There is one woman with a couple of Lurcher type dogs that are always off the lead, bouding about. They have bounced up my DD knocking her off balance, and she has since been frightened of them. The person walking them said to me once 'she's silly, they're only excited'. Some dog owners are arses too.

It is common courtesy, and respect for others.

Dog owners: Control your dogs.

Strangers: Don't stroke dogs you don't know without permission.

Not rocket science!