To think children should ask before running up and stroking a dog?!

[lovetheskinyourein]

I have a dog who is great with children, she loves them and would never do anything untoward to a child who comes up and says hello... HOWEVER after being in the park Saturday, I had 6 (!!) different children just come up and stroke my dog. (we were sat having a coffee and my dog was sitting behind my chair in the shade so very easy to sneak up behind me and say hello!)
It's all very well for a dog like mine- however I've had rescues before who may not have been so happy about it, and to be honest, ANY dog could snap if taken by surprise?!
AIBU to think that you should teach children to ask if it's ok before going full steam ahead and stroking a strangers dog?!

Waiting for attention!

Oops - thought the first pic didn't work!

Wow!

That’s a beauty!

Thanks ChardonnaysPrettySister, she's probably the best looking member of the family
I think that causes more problems, really, as people just want to stroke her all the time. Her tail curled over tail is a particular magnet for little hands.

There are reasons other than not liking children for not wanting them to run up to Dogs.

My boy is an absolute horse and could hurt a child through exuberance as he adores them. We are training his impulse control- this involves having near children but the training is derailed every time a child comes running up to throw their arms round him.

Dogs deserve their personal space as much as a child - parents would be pissed off if a stranger hugged their kid.

Children are not known for their excellent impulse control.

Children are not known for their excellent impulse control

Which is why a parent should teach them, no?

Children are not known for their excellent impulse control.

Which is why their parents should watch them and have them under control, surely? If they run up to a dog that's aggressive or dislikes children, they'll get bitten and the dog will be held responsible.

I think you are right op, but some kids just don't have good impulse control and need constant reminding. My dog is very cute looking but not overly friendly. I was walking him on a lead when approached by a new neighbour. Her child went to pet him and I told her he didn't like to be touched by people he doesn't know. A moment later she reached out to him again and he snapped at her. No contact it was just a warning but she got very upset. Luckily the mum didn't make a big thing of it.

My dcs will have it drilled into them never to touch anyone’s pet unless invited to do so. Luckily dd is terrified of dogs, so she wouldn’t do it anyway. My dad thinks it’s awful she’s scared of dogs, but I’d rather she was tbh. Some dogs, the ones with idiot owners, you should be scared of.

So yanbu. But equally, I’m not a fan of dog owners who bring their volatile / sensitive / not so friendly dogs into public spaces when there will be a lot of children around. And I always had dogs growing up, so not a dog hater.

Whilest I agree that parents must watch their and teach them children to be sensible around dogs, I do think that owners with dogs which are known to be aggressive or actively dislike kids have responsibility too. You know your dog is nervous/aggressive etc. The child doesn't.

If our dog ever shows any sign of aggression, she will be wearing a muzzle in public. Yes it's not nice, but I would rather that than have somebody get injured

My 4 year old takes greeting unknown dogs very seriously she first asks me, then we go to the owner, then she extends her hand for the dog to sniff. I love seeing her do it!
Small kids need to be constantly reminded though. We have a very child friendly dog at home....And I need to reassert often that we don't just approach dogs we don't know, and we don't bound up to the owner noisily.

Yanbu. I hate this and I loathe parents who allow their children to do this. My bitch is scared of children because as a puppy some stupid parent allowed her toddler to manhandle my poor puppy and since then she is so afraid of children (it took her ages to get used to my own children).

I once had to physically stop a toddler from poking my dogs nose, trying to pull hisbtail, I said not to, then I said please do it gently (and held my dog to let him be stroked) didn’t work. Then his mother was annoyed, I said if my dog bites your child, my dog will be out down but if your toddler harms my dog, your toddler doesn’t get put down. She huffed and puffed. Then walked off. So irritating.

I have a Chihuahua,He's v small and I get a lot of children coming up and wanting to stroke him.Hes not v good strangers unfortunately so I have to advise them not to

So some dogs are not child-friendly. I can completely understand that. However, some kids are not dog friendly either! Mine are terrified and DO NOT want dogs to bound over to them/leap up on them/lick them/their food/their toys/knock them over/knock them off their scooters. Owners who let their dogs off the lead then panic when they don't respond to their instructions do not help. Nor do owners who laugh merrily at our discomfort and say "aah, he's just being friendly!" And nor did the lady who shouted aggressively at us "no normal children would react like that!" as her Labrador frightened my kids to tears.
I'm sure this will be met with a barrage of "oh but they aren't the RESPONSIBLE dog owners!" but hmmm, there are enough of these apparently anomalous/irresponsible dog owners about to make it virtually impossible for me to take my kids on a walk anywhere at all near my house because they end up harassed and upset.
I thought I'd cracked it with the local nature reserve as they have signs up everywhere saying "please keep dogs on leads, as we have nesting birds at this time of year" but nope, at least 60% of the dog walkers their do not give a shiny shit even when I (politely) pointed out the signs to them.

And dog owners should not do the "oh, he/she loves children" as their hound runs towards a terrified child. Lots to learn on both sides. My children never try to stroke dogs after too many of the aforementioned incidents. Probably far more of a problem that children stroking without checking first.

SuitedandBooted, yes I would hope that anyone that knows they have a dog who doesn't like children/strangers and/or can't be trusted would be sensible.

My previous dog was nervous of other dogs (after being attacked) so I tried to walk him in quiet places. I also often muzzled him.

However even the most placid dog can snap or bite. They might be in pain or too hot etc. A few years ago I had some friends who ran a pub. Their dog used to be in the bar every day. He was a very gentle laid back dog who seemed to love everyone. One day he snapped at a child. Everyone was shocked because he had never done it before. Whether he was hot or the child pulled his fur or tail we don't know

Yanbu. I’m desperately trying to teach my dog loving 3 year old that you need to ask as she has a tendency to leg it over to any dog as soon as she spots one. Dd6 is the opposite and it has taken me years to stop her jumping into my arms every time we see a dog!

Im trying to drill it into my two under 4s. Dies drive me mad though when the owners get offended and make a comment about how its unnecessary.

@mydog

That is why I hate seeing dogs in places with lots of young children about. There is a cafe where they run a baby sensory type class (not called baby sensory, but similar) and in the cafe there is an elderly German shepherd, who is perfectly lovely, who belongs to one of the owners and who seems to be in the cafe every day. Dogs can turn on a sixpence if they’re unwell, elderly, in a bad mood that day. Just like people. I really think it’s stupid to bring dogs to places like this.

There is also a lovely Rottweiler / staffi Cross who frequents a local pub and is encouraged to play with children. He’s a lovely dog, but I wouldn’t have him near my children, due to sheer power and size of him, just in case we caught him on the wrong day.

Sorry, that was me agreeing with you @mydog btw!

I’ve read many times on MN that people don’t like it when dog owners say ‘Don’t worry, he’s friendly.’, so I stopped saying it.

What I hate though is when parents or children ask “Does he bite?’. It’s so annoying.

Or when they look at the dogs and say ‘Oh look at the doggies, aren’t they scary, your don’t like scary dogs’

Please stop if you’re doing it.

Yes I have always told my DC to check with the owner first before they stroke or touch a dog! Common sense!

WE used to have an older white rescue Staffy, he was not a dog of beauty.
Once, when we were in our local pub, checking out if he would sit nicely by the table, a little girl of about 13 months toddled over to him, hugged him and planted a big kiss on his head. Her trust and love towards him brought a tear to my eye. I suppose her parents should have checked first but with all the prejudices this breed has to face it was a gesture I will never forget.

@chardonnay

I always explain to people that my dd is scared of dogs. I sometimes do that in front of her, to explain why she’s cringeing away from the dog and I don’t especially care what any of the dog owners think. She is scared of dogs after all. At least she has the sense not to go and try to play with every dog she sees (like I did as a dog mad child)!