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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Harassment at work?

28 replies

Butterflykissess · 11/06/2018 18:28

Posting this on behalf of a friend but she wanted opinions as shes not on this site.

Hi I work in a school as a SEN teacher and I’ve been having issues with my line manager who has quite frankly been bullying me. It’s caused me so much stress with the constant observations and rude remarks. All the stress has caused my asthma to worsen and I’ve had more time off this school year than before.

Following an observation she reported me to the leadership team for lack leadership skills because I went to the toilet once and let my senior teaching assistant step up while the children had their snack. During the meeting with the leadership team and was very emotional because I was made to feel like a bad teacher. I told them I was at my wits end and wanted to leave. They said things would change and for some time they did.

A few months later on a Friday I asked to leave 1 hour early to collect my emergency asthma pumps before the surgery closed for the weekend. My line manager gave me grief about it saying I should do it in my own time but eventually let me go. She said I need to do it in my own time and plan my medication better.

Anyway I went back in on Monday and I had an absence review and she said in the meeting they are not paying me for the one hour on the previous Friday and I said well that’s a breach of the policy as the policy says you do as long as I provide evidence medical appointment you will be paid. Anyway it was really unpleasant review and I felt under attack. She said I’m not managing my asthma well enough so they have decided they will deduct my pay for the hour. I said the other lead didn’t have an issue with me leaving because he could staff me as it was a medical app and Friday afternoon so he was fine with it . So MY line manager was like why did you go to him he is not your line manager and he can’t say that. So I knew she would have a go at him so after the meeting I went to his room because I was so upset and worried in case he would be in trouble and she was on the phone to him having a massive go at him. Making it sound like I’ve put the blame on him.

The next day I spoke to the deputy and I was so upset. I was crying because I had enough. I said I feel like I’m being discriminated against because of my medical needs and I’ve had issues with the same line manager before. I said I’ve been really unhappy recently and he had the audacity to Say if I am unhappy at the school I should consider other options. He said my line manager is not there to provide emotional support, she is just implementing policy in her own way. He said if I have a problem with my line manager I should go to her. I felt so let down so I left and went straight to the dr and he signed me off with anxiety.

I’m too scared to be there because my asthma can set off at any moment. I know I want to leave but I’ve missed the resignation deadline so I can’t get out till December. They have put me in the hardest class next year and I know it’s down to her.

Aibu to think this is wrong??

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 11/06/2018 18:30

Has she consulted her union?

WombatStewForTea · 11/06/2018 18:34

You can be released past the deadline of 31st May with your head/Gov body approval.
Go to your union and ask their advice but I'd imagine it would be to stay signed off sick for the last few weeks of term.
I hate to say it but if you can afford to get out then do as things probably won't get much better. Can you go to the head and make a formal complaint about how you've been treated if it's against policy

trinity0097 · 11/06/2018 18:34

A head may still let her leave at the end of August.

Butterflykissess · 11/06/2018 18:43

Shes joined the union recently since the first issue but she said they will not deal with issues prior to membership. So she hasnt got any advice from then. She feels like she cant survive the next 6 months with the constant bullying, so there is a high possibly that she will probably be off with anxiety for the next few months, but shes worried they will refuse to give her a reference as shes been there 3 years.

OP posts:
longlostpal · 11/06/2018 18:44

Agree that friend needs union support. It’s hard to tell what’s going on from this letter.

Multiple lesson observations suggests something more than just once leaving to go to the bathroom during a lesson tbh. I guess the friend needs to find out clearly what the manager’s issues are with her teaching and see if they can be addressed. Could someone other than her manager observe her so she could get a more objective perspective?

I would expect a teacher to get leave for an hour for a medical appointment, however as she was picking up prescription medicine it does seem like that was something that could have been better organised (couldn’t she have got the prescription from a pharmacy that opened later?). That’s not really an ‘appointment’ imo.

Being given ‘hardest’ class - nothing to complain about there.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 11/06/2018 18:44

From the examples you gave this doesn't sound like bullying or harassment. This sounds about right: "She said I need to do it in my own time and plan my medication better." Teaching isn't a profession where you can pop out for an hour and make up the time elsewhere.

Maybe you just didn't give great examples...

NewYearNewMe18 · 11/06/2018 18:49

Academy?

Been there, know exactly how you feel. But you know as well as I do that isn't about an asthma pump. It's about streamlining staff and services. If they can make you resign, it's easier for them. Or they will get you on competencies.

Get another job and chuck in a 6 month sick with stress

NewYearNewMe18 · 11/06/2018 18:51

They can refuse a reference, they can give an honest reference, its a myth 'bad' references cannot be given. In truth, most workplaces are so fearful of litigation, references today are tick box. But you also know as well as I do, education is one of those industries where everyone knows each other and a lot of jobs are word of mouth.

sonjadog · 11/06/2018 18:54

Go to the union. She can't get help with them for past issues, but she can for issues arising after membership, which presumably this current situation is.

PotteringAlong · 11/06/2018 18:55

Leaving school one hour early to pick up a prescription medication is bad organisation. You can choose where to fill your prescription - picking a pharmacy that’s open when you get there seems fair enough.

Not leaving a TA by themselves so you can go to the bathroom if (I assume) the school policy says you need 2 adults in the room because of the needs of the children aslso seems something you should expect to be pulled up on. I’m a mainstream teacher and, aside from the fact that I never see a TA, my school wouldn’t be that impressed about leaving the class.

Bombardier25966 · 11/06/2018 19:06

Is there something more to this? Your friend seems to have a habit of overreacting.

Busybusybust · 11/06/2018 19:07

You people answering negatively have obviously never been bullied in the workplace. I have twice. It’s the most demoralising thing I’ve ever experienced.

AND it takes years to recover from. I would advise your friend to keep a diary. It’s very important that this stuff is documented.

Wish her good luck fro me.

Sailinghappy · 11/06/2018 19:24

Is there more to this story? She's saying she's being bullied but then the examples are of situations where she seems to be in the wrong herself? I'm genuinely confused...

LifeBeginsAtGin · 11/06/2018 19:30

I asked to leave 1 hour early to collect my emergency asthma pumps

.....he could staff me as it was a medical app and Friday afternoon so he was fine with it

Was it an appointment with a GP or was it just collect a prescription/pumps?

Butterflykissess · 11/06/2018 19:34

PotteringAlong You obviously don't have asthma as if you were to have an asthma attack in the middle of the night and use up your asthma pumps (salbutomal) the dr usually insists in checking you before he prescribes more.

As your a mainstream teacher i dont expect you to understand how a specialist school would run. I have 7 children with a range of disorders 4 of which are so impaired by their condition that they have 1:1. A senior TA is able to manage the class for short periods while the teacher is absent, in our school there are no breaks apart from lunch which is 45 minutes if the children are settled.

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 11/06/2018 19:35

(just to be clear she is with me now as she doesnt have a mumsnet account)

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 11/06/2018 19:38

An appointment as the Dr likes to check you before he prescribes any more pumps.

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 11/06/2018 19:40

It is an academy.

OP posts:
lardymclardy · 11/06/2018 19:41

Is her line manager called Naomi? Been there, it makes for such a miserable working environment. I feel so sorry for your friend. I don't have any advice as I jumped before I was pushed (for no reason other than she didn't like me)

Maelstrop · 11/06/2018 19:41

Also confused. We’re not allowed to leave class to use the bathroom during class time, don’t think I have in 25 years, maybe once when I was desperate, but I’d get a free teacher to come in. I certainly can’t leave to pick up meds, but if I were free, I could ask the head, he might say no. Tough.

It’s very silly not to join a union immediately you become a teacher, you never know when you’ll need them.

Re the asthma, does an inhaler remedy the attacks? If not, what else is needed? I don’t know anything about asthma, but if a teacher is having an attack, she should be able to send her TA for help?

If she has definitely decided to leave and the deputy head doesn’t sound very sympathetic, then she can ask-via her union rep-for a settlement, whereby she asks to leave early and is allowed to do so. A settlement may also include being paid to a certain date, although unless she can prove bullying, it’s unlikely she’ll get that.

I’d say stop asking for time off. If she needs to go to get stuff, she can take the day off or organise herself better. She should approach her headteacher and put in a formal complaint if she honestly believes she’s being bullied. If they are trying to manage her out, she’ll know from the head’s reaction if this is the case.

AlicesRabbitHole · 11/06/2018 20:09

Why doesn't she get her own account?

Riv · 11/06/2018 20:12

Please ask her to contact Educational Support Network for support (it's free) They understand, will listen and can talk through ideas and advise if needed.

www.educationsupportpartnership.org.uk/

MynameisJune · 11/06/2018 20:26

I’m asthmatic and have a yearly asthma check but other than that both my inhalers are on repeat prescription. Even if I have an attack in the middle of the night, also she shouldn’t be using a full inhaler for every attack. That screams badly managed asthma. If she has a decent preventative then she should hardly need to use her salbutamol inhaler.

I’ve also been bullied in the work place and this doesn’t sound like that to me. Lots of pharmacies open late, so do most doctors so why did she need to leave an hour early to get there unless she was working late and surely in that case she wouldn’t have needed permission.

Sounds to me like your friend doesn’t like having faults pointed out to her or there is more to this story than you’re telling us.

iamkahleesi · 11/06/2018 20:38

I have been bullied in school and I also manage a team in a specialist setting so I do understand the pressures and needs. To me this doesn't sound like bullying from what you've posted it sounds like robust management of an underperforming teacher. You can't just pop out to the toilet in the middle of a lesson there are appropriate times for that. Medical conditions should be managed in your own time wherever possible. Staff should be treated with understanding but at the end of the day you're there to do a job, if you can't cope with that then you need to think about an alternative. They may be relieved to release you early.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 11/06/2018 20:41

You people answering negatively have obviously never been bullied in the workplace. I have twice. It’s the most demoralising thing I’ve ever experienced.

Bullying is absolutely shit, but this doesn't sound like bullying.