AIBU hair removal cream for DD 9 legs?

[lardymclardy]

I can envisage the responses now - yes you are you mental mother!

A little background - DD started puberty at 7 and as a result was under a consultant paedetrician (can't spell it). She has a couple of armpit hairs and a few hairs down below. This year is the first year she is refusing to wear a summer dress for school, insisting she preferred trousers. I didn't think too much of it until my mind clicked on a couple of recent conversations...

I've spoken to her and she admits it's because she thinks her legs are too hairy. I don't think they are, but it's not my mind, body or confidence.

I agreed with her that I would remove the hair for this summer term only and it would grow back over summer (adding if you wear your shorts etc then the sun will lighten the hairs anyway). She will then go in to year 5 and into autumn winter where she can wear trousers for school and leggings for PE. Therefore hair removal will not be an ongoing thing.

So AIBU? I don't think so, and for those that think I'm not, have you been in this situation and do you have any tips?

For those that think I am, I'm happy to hear why knowing that I know self confidence comes from within and I explain that to her, but also know how uncomfortable she is with it and uncomfortable in trousers in this heat. Thank you.

I still shave - once a week and to only just above my knees. Dd has shaved from time to time but hasn't for a few months. It's her choice tbh

A good electric razor might be safer.

I got DD(9) at the time, some sort of exfoliating hair removal kit. It's basically like a sandpaper sticker on a plastic mitten. She was very happy with result & there is no chance of cutting or irritation from chemicals.

I had the same dilemma as you but decided in the end it was important for DD to be happy and not self conscious.

I used to try to cut my leg hair with scissors. It really brought my confidence down
I did this - I was playing in the garden with my brother and swinging from a tree (older brother, 2 years) he said you can shave your pits OP you know. The trouble is my Mum and especially my stepdad (love him, don't blame him at all!) were completely in denial. I'm not sure what they were expecting? Maybe if I grew into a hairy freak a la Big Foot then no boy would touch me! So scissors for hair and then SD's razor, no help, no guidance, just slash away!!

OP is clearly responding to the feelings of her DD which have risen within herself independently from the OP.
Thank you for recognising this. Of course it is about her feelings, why would it be about mine? Mine were somewhat confused as in, is 9 too young? But looking at what she has been through and our lives and our talking then of course it isn't. Posting the thread was almost a throwback in my mind to the way I was brought up - of course you can't, you are too young. Full stop. Go to bed. Yeah, that worked...

I am a grown-up, but at age 10 it was so nice to feel 'normal'.
Thank you for you post, DD has had so much other shit to deal with than early puberty, like a new school after we were homeless (this is not drip feeding) they think the stress may have triggered THE early puberty as she liked to call it :D

So yes, I will help her in her wishes and have told her so. My only problem now is finding a bloomin' summer dress/suit that fits, now that they are all sold out!

Thank you all, I needed that support and the guidance. To anyone that saw it as a result of misogynistic bullying or peer pressure - read properly. My DD is uncomfortable in her OWN body, we are a very hairy family, I've never once pressured her about her body hair as that would be ridiculous on my part. She has made this decision between the two of us discussing it and her not wanting wear a summer dress.

Problem identified, lots of love and advice given and problem will be solved. Thank you.

Shitting the proper teenage years!!

Aw bless your DD. My DD is now 10, she started puberty very early and had her first period a month before her 10th birthday. She's a little self conscious about her underarm hair as she wears a blouse for school and you can see them when she puts her hand up. I removed them with a shaver for her. She is fair haired though so luckily they don't need shaving often.

I started puberty at 8, my mum helped me with hair removal, first shaving creams and then around 12 she took me to get professional waxing on my legs so they would last most of the summer. I would recommend cream rather than shaving because it lasts longer, grows more slowly and in most people it doesn’t cause a reaction, just do a patch test the day before. Good luck!
I still have a bit of a hunched back because I spent my whole time slouching as much as possible to hide my boobs between the ages of 9-12. It’s really not an easy time. Early puberty runs in my family - my grandma, mum and her sister all had puberty super early, around 8-9.

Thank you @MumOfDiamonds and @ShoesAndFood. I'm off to bed now so ta-ra from me. Nn X

@lardymclardy So sorry to hear what your little daughter have to go through!
Would you mind please if I ask you something? My DD is 7 and since last year she has body odour. I took her to the doctor (explained to receptionist beforehand that my dd doesn’t know anything about having a bo herself). So doctor was great, never mentioned anything front of my dd just checked her over. She said if anything changes bring her in. Just a few weeks ago I noticed dd has some hair on her underarms. I was going to call the doctor tomorrow then I saw your post. What could I expect? My DD doesn’t know that anything is going on with her as she’s very young for her age. What would you advise? Would you mind if I ask you how was for you? What kind of test did they do on your dd?
She is pretty hairy too but I'm also.. Thank you x

Oh poor little thing - puberty at 7 just isn’t fair 😕

There have been lots of threads like this over the years, the replies are predictable. Mostly supportive, but the usual bunch of ‘shocked’ & ‘teach her to accept herself as she is’ type stuff. All very well when it’s not your DD. If people want to stand against stuff, fine, but don’t use your kids to do it for you.

If it was me in your position, I’d try some of the hair removal pads. They’re actually really good and something she can use herself.

I’d avoid the creams because I don’t like using such harsh chemicals on such young skin.

I have only tried an electric one once. It tucking hurt!! As did self waxing and I learnt I cannot inflict that much pain on myself 🤣.

My preference is salon waxing, but right now I’m au natural as I cba 🤣. I don’t have a lot of hairs on my legs, but I could plait the ones that are there...oops.

I hope you can find her a cute play suit that she loves.

Good morning @Beahun sorry I didn't get back you last night - early night! I took her to the GP as the first sign was her spotting, although there was some breast development and body odour there wasn't any hairs then. The GP didn't do anything really just referred us to the hospital (paediatrics). I think it was about 3 months though until we were seen, which had taken her past her 8th birthday. We were seen by the consultant who asked us both questions about her health, family health, family history. There was another lady in the room (I'm not sure if she was a doctor or almost like a social worker) just to oversee things. DD was examined bless her, not nice ie breast check, armpit check, genital check (very brief). It was confirmed that she had started puberty, and then we were given another referral for hormone blood tests, where the pituarity gland is stimulated and hormone levels monitored hourly over several hours (via bloods taken via a canula in the hand) This confirmed she was indeed in puberty, but as it took another 4 months for that she was well into her erm 8's (!) and whilst it was indeed puberty it was still within a 'normal' range - although at the extreme end for her age.
Hope that helps and makes sense - am rushing about getting sorted for school and work. Good luck! X

Totally get this. Dd is dark- I noticed darker hairs in her upper lip ffs - she's 12 and due to start her periods. Developed in other physical ways.

When I read the thread name I was ready to blast you I would have been the same

Thank you all again for your replies, cream is definitely ruled out now. I shall be googling various hair removal 'tools' today. Cheers!

I know you are reluctant for waxing but if you can find a good (they do vary) professional waxer, she would only need to go every 6/8 weeks and it does gradually reduce the hairs.
Shaving and other methods grow back really quickly and it’s stressful enough having to shave your legs every day/every couple of days as an adult, never mind when you’re 9. At least with waxing, you can forget about it for a month.

Regular waxing for a child sounds like misery.

Poor kid! I went through puberty at the same age and I wish my mother had been as sensitive and as kind. I’m so glad your daughter is seeing a paediateician as I also stopped growing early and have horrible osteoarthritis as a result. My heart goes out to her. As for hair removal, creams are messy, stinky and take ages - and are less effective than shaving. I think you’re making the right choice! X

Shave gel with Olay is good, I have really sensitive legs but find Nair for sensitive skin works for me, you could buy one and do a patch test.

I don't think there is anything wrong with helping your daughter when she is feeling unable to show her legs.

My sister taught me how to shave when I was in year 7 although I started my period at 14 so quite late but I'll say definitely do it as it affects her confidence. Buy an expensive shaver maybe the reusable one that you just change the blade. She'll learn to do it on her own quite quickly

I don't understand why any parent would object to their child choosing to remove their own body hair. Of course they should have some option of it if they want to. It's all very well saying they shouldn't feel pressured to remove it but most kids just want to fit in with others and not feel different. They might just be conscious about it themselves or have had comments from other kids.

I used to use a hair removal cream specifically for young skin.

It could be worth looking into. Mine smelled of strawberries and was much nicer than the Veet you get for adults!

I would go with waxing if she doesn't mind it. She'd have hair free legs by the time she's 16. But I would go to someone who is a specialist waxer, not just level 2 trained and does it because they can. They will use a premium product less prone to causing redness.

My dad is 9. Not started puberty yet although she is on the cusp. Very tall and looks a lot older than her age. She has ALWAYS had very hairy legs. When she was five she used to compete ballroom so we had to shave her legs due to fake tan. Since then she sporadically asks me to do it. She doesn’t get bullied so she’s not doing it to appease others. She doesn’t particularly like her hairy legs and I have no issue doing it whenever she wants.

If she wants non hairy legs, go for it xx

My dad is 9 - that is a whole new thread! Sorry, I couldn't resist

So, I have ordered a lady shave, suitable for wet and dry. I'm too uncomfortable with the waxing option.

DD is very excited! I feel so bad for not recognising the signs sooner, I just LIKE TROUSERS MUM - OKAY?!!! Oo-er yes that's okay. Is it because?... Yes.... Cool easily sorted!

Nice work! You get a gold star, Mum!

Nice work! You get a gold star, Mum!

Woohoo! It only took 21 years! I do feel sorry for older DS now, he was thrilled when I bought him a proper shaving kit at 5, but I never really spoke with him about it. Oh well, he seems to have worked it out...

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