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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just had a horrible parking incident

60 replies

Generallyok · 10/06/2018 22:14

I have just gone to my local out of hours store, and had a horrible experience that has left me shaking 2 hours later. The store has 4 parking bays running parallel to the store. A guy in front of me drove into 2nd space and I drove into last space which is for disabled and then started to back into 3rd space. The guy behind was still sitting in his car. As I was backing he blared his horn at me and stated to shout out me that I had left no room. My parking sensors hadnt started beeping so knew I was still a long way off). I braked and as he carried on shouting i doubted myself so I moved forward slightly, thinking he was leaving. He wasn’t so in the end I had to leave my car with a 1 meter gap and over 2 parking spaces. I went into the store and he followed me. I said I didn’t think I was too close as my parking sensors hadn’t started beeping, but he started shouting at me telling me I had left him just 1inch. He then told me to F off and I just stood there speechless. The shop assistant came over and told both off and told us to both stop. I carried on shopping and waited until he had left and tried to apologise to the shop assistant as I have never had an argument in my life and wanted to cry. He remained outside the shop standing outside the car and my legs went to jelly, but after spending ages shopping left and made a dash for my car. I am now wondering if I was being unreasonable?

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 10/06/2018 22:17

You know YANBU but unfortunately there are some absolute idiots out and about. Sadly you met one today.

Forget him and move on.

Maelstrop · 10/06/2018 22:17

How far did you end up from his car?

EastMidsMummy · 10/06/2018 22:17

He was a cunt. YWNBU.

TeatimeForTheSoul · 10/06/2018 22:18

It doesn’t matter how close you were or not, his behaviour was totally unacceptable!
How are you feeling now OP?

Generallyok · 10/06/2018 22:21

Thank you all , feeling a little less wobbly but could have done without that tonight. Just felt that I was told off by shop too. Maelstrop - I was at least a meter away and looked like I was crap at parking as I took up some of disabled space too.

OP posts:
nikkylou · 10/06/2018 22:22

He sounds really intimidating and you don't sound like you were doing anything wrong!

Do you hear a beep when you first go in reverse, so you know your sensors were on? I also assume you were still checking your mirrors.

He sounds like a twat.

As for the shop assistant, complain at the store. There was no need for them to come banding over, to tell you off like naughty school children no less. If anything, they should have made sure you were okay!

BottleOfJameson · 10/06/2018 22:24

He sounds like the kind of person that is just a bubbling pot of rage, waiting for any excuse to explode at someone. Hope you're feeling better. You did nothing wrong.

Generallyok · 10/06/2018 22:25

Yes I was looking in mirror, but my sensors are very good too and I’m always surprised how much space I have left behind even when it’s on full beep.

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 10/06/2018 22:25

Oh another one of those lovely big strong appealing blokes who target women but run cowering when faced against a rugby type bloke.

Withoutwarning · 10/06/2018 22:26

Unfortunately you do get some very very aggressive drivers who will shout/scream/abuse due to their own selfish reasons and when you are not at fault.

This man sounds particularly aggressive and I think it is understandable why you were so shaken.

I have had lots of incidents like this, most recent ones when a man got very abusive, because I was driving within the speed limit and another incident when my husband was reversing his car and got a load of abuse from a middle aged couple because he took longer than 10 seconds.

I would try to put it down to him being an idiot and try to dwell on it.

BubblegumFactory · 10/06/2018 22:26

YWNBU
He was a major twat. Some men seem to look for an outlet for their testosterone fuelled vitriol and find it in women they perceive to be weaker than themselves.
Not sure what the solution is, I know I would have told him to fuck the fuck off, been p'd off for a couple of minutes then forgotten all about him, but I'm pretty bolshy when confronted with a major twat. Not easy to react like that if that's not 'you' if that's makes sense.
Put it to the back of your mind though, as I can guarantee he is not thinking about you at all.

Withoutwarning · 10/06/2018 22:27

Sorry "not dwell on it".

Whereismumhiding2 · 10/06/2018 22:40

Sounds scary. I'd have hated this, I really don't understand people who think it's ok to be verbally aggressive & follow someone. Says more about him than you.

Just feel lucky you aren't married to him or a neighbour, and he was some random stranger.... I hope you had a strong cup of tea when you got home and are starting to feel better now.
(Feel reassured that he will shout at the wrong person one day and get himself in real trouble).

Figmentofimagination · 10/06/2018 22:49

Ywnbu! He sounds horrible. So sorry for you OP. I know how you feel. DH beeped his horn at someone once for cutting straight across us in a shop car park. Next thing we know the guy was waiting at the front doors for us to give my husband abuse, followed us around shouting at us whilst we tried to ignore him and then gave a parting shot of insulting me and my weight. That part really hurt and my husband wanted to go after him - not for the abuse against him but for what he said about me.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 10/06/2018 22:51

I would have parked exactly in the spot and let him rant, not your problem he cant park & manoeuvre properly, or told him to foxtrot oscar.

LittleBirdBlues · 10/06/2018 23:01

Oh OP I hate situations like that but he sounds like a class a bully, yoy did nothing wrong.

I was in a garden centre this morning and accidentally picked up another customer's trolly instead of my own. J brought it back less than 3 minutes later when I realised my mistake. I spotted a guy who looked like e was looking for something, approached him to ask if that was his trolly. He confirmed. I was very apologetic and examined the mistake, reassured him I hadn't put anything in or taken anything out. The guy still thought it was justified to shout at me and make me feel really small. I ended up crying a little when I got back to my car. But then I'm 8 months pregnant so anything makes me cry! ;)

My point is, some people just use you as a spinning board for their frustrations. Try not to let it affect you.

Generallyok · 11/06/2018 06:20

Oh littlebird that is horrible experience, especially when you are so pregnant. I can’t believe how some men can be towards women. You are right I will try and forget all about it.

OP posts:
Unicorndiscoball · 11/06/2018 06:26

I once had to park at an awkward angle in a Tesco car park becsuse the person in the space next to me had crossed the lines. When I came out, they’d moved and a man had parked his classic mustang or whatever it was in the space next to me, and squeezed it RIGHT in. It was massive. He was there when I got back with my shopping so I said something like ‘sorry about the angle of the car, the person before you had parked badly so I could only squeeze in at an angle! Do you mind helping me out so I don’t scratch your car?’

He EXPLODED and started screaming and shouting and swearing at me, shouting that I couldn’t even fucking drive, I shouldn’t be allowed on the road, no he wasn’t going to help me, but I mustn’t scratch his previous car. He went on the whole time I was reversing my tiny car out of the awkward space and I was sobbing. It was so aggressive and intimidating. People have NO NEED to behave like this.

DorothyHarris · 11/06/2018 06:33

I seem to attract these fucking idiots as well I seem to have them quite regularly. Usually down to men who park where they shouldn't or expect me to be a mind reader.
I was once told to go back to pizza hut where I belong...I was 7 months pg
You know what?! It's always men and always when I'm on my own or with the kids. Never ever women.

StealthPolarBear · 11/06/2018 06:42

Op I've had a similar experience quite a while ago when driving my Dhs unfamiliar car. I pulled out at a roundabout when I shouldn't have done (which I appreciate makes it my fault unlike this situation) it must have been annoying but it wasn't a close call iyswim. There was no actual danger of crashing. This guy followed me home in his car for a couple of miles to tell me off. I was so shaken and scared.

Namechangedname · 11/06/2018 06:44

It's always men and always when I'm on my own or with the kids. Never ever women.

Yes. And I doubt they would be so quick to verbally abuse another male.

hildabaker · 11/06/2018 06:46

I always feel sorry for any family those type of bullying bastards might have. Some poor woman must be at the brunt of that on a daily basis.

StealthPolarBear · 11/06/2018 06:48

Mine had a wife and kids in the car who were ailent

hildabaker · 11/06/2018 06:48

Actually I've just remembered, me and DH got threatened once by a woman when we were driving! I started filming her on my phone - geez she was vile, threatening and foul mouthed.

CheekyChinchilla · 11/06/2018 06:52

I’ve had incidents like this too. I had one a couple of weeks ago where I was turning left into a car park and a man coming from the opposite direction ran a red light and pulled out immediately in front of me. My car has auto braking sensors and he was so close when he pulled out the car had jammed on the brakes before I could react. I beeped my horn at him as I thought he hadn’t seen me, at which point he stopped dead and gave me a mouthful of abuse. I couldn’t go round as there was an island, and he was preventing other traffic from coming round the corner too. Eventually he got out of the car and took photos of me and my car, I presume in an effort to intimidate me. The stupid thing was, when he eventually moved, he pulled a u-turn once past the island and raced back out of the car park, so didn’t even do whatever he’d been planning to do, whereas I just carried on and went about my business. I was quite shaken up by it though.

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