Just had a horrible parking incident

[Generallyok]

I have just gone to my local out of hours store, and had a horrible experience that has left me shaking 2 hours later. The store has 4 parking bays running parallel to the store. A guy in front of me drove into 2nd space and I drove into last space which is for disabled and then started to back into 3rd space. The guy behind was still sitting in his car. As I was backing he blared his horn at me and stated to shout out me that I had left no room. My parking sensors hadnt started beeping so knew I was still a long way off). I braked and as he carried on shouting i doubted myself so I moved forward slightly, thinking he was leaving. He wasn’t so in the end I had to leave my car with a 1 meter gap and over 2 parking spaces. I went into the store and he followed me. I said I didn’t think I was too close as my parking sensors hadn’t started beeping, but he started shouting at me telling me I had left him just 1inch. He then told me to F off and I just stood there speechless. The shop assistant came over and told both off and told us to both stop. I carried on shopping and waited until he had left and tried to apologise to the shop assistant as I have never had an argument in my life and wanted to cry. He remained outside the shop standing outside the car and my legs went to jelly, but after spending ages shopping left and made a dash for my car. I am now wondering if I was being unreasonable?

I’ve not really encountered anything like this apart from the time I must have pissed some guy off - as you say, nearly always a man - and he followed me close up with his lights on full beam turning them down when someone came the other way and back to full beam right behind me the second they had passed. This went on for miles. I was scared to stop in case he stopped as well.

I was wondering what a good retort would be if I ever encounter car park rage. Something like “leave me alone. Go and pick on someone else to bully”. Or better to say nothing?

Poor you. What didn't help was the store wading in, making out you were both squabbling

You have to bear in mind some of these assistants have not a drop of training and absolutely have no clue at all. But if you could stand it you might make a complaint about how it was handled - you were a woman alone being harassed by a male customer late at night, there is no excuse for how they handled it.

I'm sorry you were let down by them too.

The bloke was a cunt, being cuntish.

Have a hug

Re being harassed by another driver - the advice I had from the police when something similar happened to me is to drive to a petrol station - which is lit and has cctv.

Guy was a loon.

Not your fault

He sounds like a horrible bully. However, are you sure your parking sensors are switched on? If after moving forward you had left a metre between your cars thst suggests you were closer than that. My parking sensors would definitely be going off way before that. However last week my DH inadvertently switched mine off when he was fiddling around with my car and I didn't realise until the next day when I was reversing and thinking "that car looks really near but my sensors haven't even started bleeping. Luckily I realised in time.

I would double check you've got the sensors switched on but even if you haven't thst doesn't give him any right to shout at you.

People are pricks sometimes OP.

I had it the other year outside my mums flat. Had parked up but had to go in slightly wonky due to the car next to me parking right up to the line and I had the dcs to get out so went in slightly bent to leave more room for the back doors. Was still in both lines.

When I came out there was a car parked in front of mine to block me in. Waited a few minutes, beeped the horn a couple of times then ended up phoning 101 as I had no idea who owned it.

101 gave me a few clues as to the address so went and knocked on the door of the flat. The guy was really fucking vile and aggressive and was ranting and raving at me for parking like a knobhead, how he couldnt get parked at a weekend near his flat because of visitors yada yada yada. I told him my mam didn't have a car so me parking in a space wasnt taking a space and they were actually residents and visitors spaces and how I was actually in the lines (in a pick up truck) and if he couldn't get his focus in between the.lines that was his look out. His wife/girlfriend came out mouthing too.

Was feeling pretty harassed by this point but then my brother pulled up and asked what the problem was. Bloke starts ranting what a stupid cunt I was. Brother stood there then pointed out I was his sister, definetly not a stupid cunt and did he want to apologise now or when he had moved his car.

Fucker got in his car and drove off 😂😂. Left his mrs stood with us stammering.

It just shows how men bully women when they think they can get away with it. My brother is as soft as buggery. Wouldnt say boo to a goose normally and have never known him fight or hit anyone. But hes a tradesman, not particularly big but wirey and fit looking.

Don't think bully boy fancied his chances.

Don't worry about it. He was a prick.

That’s good advice springydaff

Oh another one of those lovely big strong appealing blokes who target women but run cowering when faced against a rugby type bloke.

Yes Aww!

And what Springydaffs said - complain!

People can be pricks sometimes yes but sadly as this thread shows, the majority of the aggression is male to female.

What a dick he sounds. He sounds like he has anger issues and picked on you because your a female driver. Some men have problems with women drivers for some reason.
I was parked up at a tool station the other day, and the woman parking up next to me clipped my mirror as she was parking up. I told her not to worry about it as no damage was caused but she was so nervous about the whole thing. I'm female by the way, but if she'd of clipped the wrong blokes car I'm sure it would have been a different story.

There are some nasty bastards out there. You can't make the world right. It's like the weather. Sometimes you just have to endure.

Yes, it does tend to be men who get all shouty. My 'favourite' is those who, when you are getting into a tight space and very slowly and gently accidentally touch their car with yours start yelling that you have CRASHED into their car.

I also hate it when, unbeknownst to you, there's someone sitting in the car behind you and they decide to honk when they decide you're getting too close as if you don't know. I can't think of anything more likely to make me crash into them suddenly!

It is notable that, not long after I passed my test, I was backing into a space and I noticed a nervous looking young woman standing nearby, who told me she was worried I was getting a bit close to her car (and she was probably right). With her help I straightened out and there was no problem. And that is how you deal politely with someone whose parking concerns you, not yelling and bullying.

My DH is 6'3" and built like a rugby player. He's gentle as anything, but has resting bitch face, so can look a bit intimidating.

He was once driving me to work in my car (which is a type usually driven by women). He was going down a long hill, on the wrong side as cars were all parked on the left. Another car had appeared at the bottom after we'd pulled out and so had to wait for a little bit.

I could see the driver waving his arms aggressively, then he blocked the road with his car and started to get out. As we pulled closer, he suddenly clocked who was driving, seemed to almost deflate, went back into his car and quickly moved to give way. We had to wait for him to do this, and he kept his eyes down rather than look at my DH.

It made me laugh how quickly he pooped himself, but also really annoyed me that if it'd been just me in the car he'd have been aggressive and caused a scene. Bloody coward.

I always feel sorry for any family those type of bullying bastards might have. Some poor woman must be at the brunt of that on a daily basis.

This ^^

Everytime I think this.

In this situation a couple of times and if I offer any kind of reasonable explanation in normal volume voice, just get shouted down/sworn at. Often the cause has been aggressive driving by the male in question. eg driving forward at speed towards me when I am clearly reversing into a space and then beeping horn and swearing as our 2 cars are close. Dickheads. In 20 years driving I've never had a car accident or caused a car accident (man drove into my car whilst I was stationary parked inside lines in a car park space once, but I don't count that). For years I thought it was because I drove "too cautiously" and now I just think there are some men going around ready to explode.

OP please try not to dwell on it. He is a vile creature who doesn’t deserve a second more of your time.

What is it with these men who shout and swear at strangers, especially when a car is involved? It’s always men. I saw an incident at the weekend, car with two men pulled alongside and shouted a load of abuse at a lone female driver. Horrible and pathetic.

Echobelly Mon 11-Jun-18 10:23:07
Yes, it does tend to be men who get all shouty. My 'favourite' is those who, when you are getting into a tight space and very slowly and gently accidentally touch their car with yours start yelling that you have CRASHED into their car.

to be fair, if you slowly and gently drove into my car, i’d be very pissed off too. this should not be your criteria for successful parking. if it helps, think of it like a game of Operation. the idea is to not let your car touch anybody else’s.

I was once trying to get my feeble diesel car up a ramp in a car park, when the guy behind seemed to explode - leaning on the horn, while leaning out and swearing at me. My DH got out of the car to reduce the weight (after a couple of minutes of attempts), so I then got up the slope and into a parking space. The guy stopped his car behind mine, so angry that he was literally falling over, went after me and, when I hastily locked the doors, went after my DH and punched him in the head. His wife and children were looking on, shocked. I then got out too, and he started pushing me in the chest, saying he was going to punch my lights out! When my DH came back, he got back in his car and drove off in a hurry.
My DH didn't want to press charges, but I did. In the end, it was his choice (pushing someone isn't really a big deal; punching someone in the head is), but if I'd been on my own, I definitely would have done. What struck me was his unbelievable anger at something so trivial.

I would also have had a store security manager escort me back to the car, especially if I had DC with me, in case he was still around.

P.S. I'm a RoSPA Advanced Driver and have been for almost 20 years...

Macavity

That’s horrific. Your poor DH and poor you. I wish your DH had persued it further. Did the police even speak to the man about what he did?

www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/a28027/when-i-stopped-cutting-my-hair-i-learned-how-men-treat-women-on-american-roads/

Why do some people turn into such utter aggressive twats when they get behind a wheel?

Hope you are ok now

@Unicorndiscoball

Wow, what a cunt that man was!

He probably behaves that way as he knows deep down the reason he had to buy that stupid car...because of his unfeasibly small cock!

I get this so often. I'm sick of it, so damn sick of it.

The part that winds me up the most is that they turn what may have been a good, or okay day, into a miserable one. They've probably forgotten about the incident minutes later (they no doubt do it several times a day anyway) but for me, despite my best efforts, it hangs over me all day. And I never forget it either.

They do it in front of my young children too, including full on swearing. Normally they start on me because of something they've done too, rather than anything I have done e.g. recently one parked in front of me blocking me in, and I was seconds away from leaving and he had seen I was in the car so probably about to depart. I asked him to move as he walked past me to get to the shops, and got the full on abuse.

As many others have said, at least they're not our family and we (hopefully) never have to see them again.

I once had a huge guy get into the passenger seat of my car, call me a fat cow and spit in my face because he THOUGHT I'd gesticulated at him after he'd cut me up on a roundabout. I was scared to death, and was crying and shaking all the way home. I wish I'd gone straight to the police and let them take his DNA off me, but I was a lot younger, and let my BF at the time talk me out of it when I phoned him to tell him what had happened.

Oh, OP, this is so familiar to me. I hope you're feeling better this morning. There are too many people, and yes, most of them men, who take any slight opportunity to unleash aggression. The article linked to above is fascinating.

I tend to look blankly at this sort of thing when it happens during driving. The other day I had my daughter and her friend in my car and an idiot van driver forced me to reverse down the narrow road we were both on rather than him reversing very slightly into a passing place. He was shouting insults and laughing at me the whole time, and had his van right up on my bonnet, and once there was room to pass, he wound down his window to deliver his no-doubt killer verbal blow. I looked totally impassive throughout other than telling him he was a stupid man when I realised he was going to make me do it, and just drove away at the end leaving him ranting into nothing, but I was furious. Why on earth do they do this?

The other advice the police gave when being harassed in the car was to drive to a police station. We no longer have police stations in my city, just the big central one, impossible to park