To make dd13 wear UV protection

[dillydall]

Two dds - aged 11 and 13.

Every year, we spend two weeks in a sunny European country staying in a house with a pool. Dds are in and out of the pool all day every day.

The rule/condition we impose in return for this lovely holiday, is that dds must wear UV protection tops and shorts over their swimming costumes - they're both very pale, blue-eyed and blonde, and burn very easily.

With UV tops and shorts, suncream is far easier to apply regularly throughout the day - far more of their skin is covered, and you don't have to do all the fiddly bits round swimming costume straps.

If they're wanting to go in the pool after 6pm, they don't have to wear the tops and shorts.

However, older dd is now 13 and is complaining about having to wear the top and shorts. She says it's embarrassing, babyish and looks stupid in photos (I offered compromise of being allowed to take the top and shorts off briefly for photos but that's apparently not enough).

Should I stick to my guns and still make her wear them if she wants to go in the pool, or should I make some sort of compromise?

I.e. Not allowed to go in pool between 11am and 3pm if not wearing top & shorts, but allowed rest of time, and if she burns even slightly then deal is off?

*sorry, title should say UV protection clothes

It seems like overkill to me - I make sure my toddlers are covered up but cannot even imaging making a teenager wear that much stuff around the pool (or an 11 year old). At that age they surely understand the need for plenty of cream and chucking a t-shirt on if feeling hot? I don't blame her for kicking up a fuss - she isn't 5!

Can’t she just apply suncream regularly? Most people seem to manage without imposing a dress code on their teenagers.

Personlly, I think a good sun-screen should be sufficient for your 13 yo in the pool and a sun-hat and t-shirt when out of the pool. Use a spray on sunscreen rather than a rub- in on. When out of the pool, a sun-hat and t-shirt.

It seems wildly excessive.

Do you wear a t shirt and shorts too?

She should be old enough to apply the cream herself no matter what she's wearing.

I'd offer to let her go without the extra clothes on the condition she doesn't get sunburned. If she's careless with applying the sunscreen and burns then back to the dress code.

If OP’s children are very fair I don’t think it’s that excessive!
My children are very fair, don’t tan and would burn easily after a whole day in the sun even with cream. They are still young so we haven’t had this battle yet but I expect we will, so watching with interest.

Yabu. She's more than old enough to be responsible for putting her own sun cream on.

ffs,mn ignorance knows no bounds. of course she wears a uv top closer to the equator during peak uv hours. it is boneheaded not to. In and out of the pool rips the sunscreen off in no time. even the stuff sold to idiots as once a day waterproof. I have seen the results where people believed that.

if she is the sheep like type, show her pics from surf catalogues where rash vests are worn, because sporty types arent usually thick. it is not a baby uv suit.

She's old enough to choose to wear sunscreen if she wants.

I don't wear a top and shorts, but then I only spend an hour max in the pool each day, and not around midday.

Dds are often in the pool for over 6/7 hours a day.

Waterproof sun cream is fine. In most European countries rash vests aren't common or popular and I can understand her feeling like she stands out.

It's worth noting as well that many European swimming pools have a policy of no t-shirts and this includes rash vests/UV swim tops. (Obviously not an issue in a private pool, but just in case).

It would be sensible to avoid the sun during the most harsh hours regardless. Advice for Germany is between 11am and 3pm if this is a similar latitude. I might go for just the core of that, 12-2.

is she old enough to be as much of a fool as many on here? plenty of thickos who think u v strength relates to temperature.

let adults fry and help the species, but give her a chance to avoid a slow darwin award.

It may be worth looking up the UV index for the days you'll be there and the location as well.

And it's a private pool by the way, so it's not like there are other young people around to see het

*her

If you look up advice in Australia, nobody goes without a rash vest there, not even adults.

Yeah I’m with your daughter, a UV on a 13 year old is overkill. Can you reach a compromise? Like if she reapplies a high factor waterproof sunscreen regularly (or consider a once a day cream like p20 or ultra-sun), wears a hat and comes out of the sun for lunch between 12-2pm then let her wear a regular swimming costume.

Can you not compromise? If they are regularly covered in cream the should be OK not to have to wear the shorts? My two boys just wear swimming trunks the whole time and I cover them in factor 50 - they never get burnt.

Wish I’d had someone to tell me to keep my chest always covered in the sun - I have permanent wrinkles between my boobs in my mid thirties!

I use p20 on the rest of me without burning though, is there something not good about that stuff?

It’s difficult also because if you let her ditch it her sister will want to also. Maybe she wears it in the 12-2 window if and then try suncream the rest of the time but a hint of burn and the rule is back?

Get her a rash vest type thing from somewhere like fat face so it's a bit more trendy. Wearing them over a bathing suit though is overkill and sounds uncomfortable. The vest and bikini bottoms is a compromise?

I sympathise as a pale person who envied the olive skin of the med people when I was a teenager but I don't think it's overkill at all. I would get mine to if we went to a mediterranean country in summer. I blistered in the south of france once. I was wearing suncream but it had worn off. It was horrid.

In Oz/Cornwall everyone wears rash vests, can you get her to pick a cool one? not that anyone is going to see her

I would also consider coming in for a long lunch. When we went we'd swim in the morning, have a nice long lunch in the shade with books, and back on the beach/pool at about 4 - 7.

If you look up advice in Australia, nobody goes without a rash vest there, not even adults.
What? Not as far as I can see.
Get her some good zinc sunscreen and let her swim.

It could be a good lesson, or good for her self esteem,, if you allow her to make this decision.

You let her try it and if she is looking like she is burning, then she wears the vest.

She should be having a level of body autonomy and one time, almost sun burnt, isn't dangerous. So use this situation to let her make her own decisions.

She should be able to manage putting on her own sunscreen.

I live somewhere hot.
I wear a rash vest in the pool. Getting burnt HURTS, and it's really hard to make sure you cream everywhere.
Have you actually looked at the range available on Amazon? There is loads of choice. Can you find something she likes?