To make dd13 wear UV protection

[dillydall]

Two dds - aged 11 and 13.

Every year, we spend two weeks in a sunny European country staying in a house with a pool. Dds are in and out of the pool all day every day.

The rule/condition we impose in return for this lovely holiday, is that dds must wear UV protection tops and shorts over their swimming costumes - they're both very pale, blue-eyed and blonde, and burn very easily.

With UV tops and shorts, suncream is far easier to apply regularly throughout the day - far more of their skin is covered, and you don't have to do all the fiddly bits round swimming costume straps.

If they're wanting to go in the pool after 6pm, they don't have to wear the tops and shorts.

However, older dd is now 13 and is complaining about having to wear the top and shorts. She says it's embarrassing, babyish and looks stupid in photos (I offered compromise of being allowed to take the top and shorts off briefly for photos but that's apparently not enough).

Should I stick to my guns and still make her wear them if she wants to go in the pool, or should I make some sort of compromise?

I.e. Not allowed to go in pool between 11am and 3pm if not wearing top & shorts, but allowed rest of time, and if she burns even slightly then deal is off?

I don't blame you for being worried. I have skin that burns easily and I have to cover up in the sun or smother myself in factor 50.

Sunburn isn't just painful - it's dangerous, and too many burns can lead to skin cancer. The UV index is really high here today and I saw so many people at the beach looking like lobsters - they were fooled because it was "only" 21 degrees and there was a sea breeze.

If adults who should know better can easily get caught out, so can teenagers. She shouldn't be given the chance or option to risk getting burnt - at best it will ruin her holiday as she'll be stuck inside feeling sorry for herself.

I would insist on some form of sun-protection - either what she's currently wearing or factor 50 that's re-applied at least every hour or so.

I soent two years in Australia, mainly young kids and surfers wore rashies, the rest of the people not, although it was factor 50 all the way.

Advice in Australia is obviously different to Europe (hole in ozone layer).

Could you compromise and get her some nicer sarongs or beach dresses? Or just not spend so much time in the sun in the heat of the day? I think 13 is a bit old to be forced to wear something she doesn’t like.

YABU. I have never seen an adult wearing a rash vest on a beach in Oz other than those doing water sports, and people surfing etc. don't wear them for sun protection but to stop the grip on the board or wetsuit chafing, they are called rash vests for a reason!

It must be horribly uncomfortable and hot wearing the top and shorts for hours on end, decent sunscreen should be perfectly sufficient.

I find so much of the advice on here way off the mark. We live in a hot country with small children and we all wear rash shirts when ever we are in the swimming pool. As others have said you can get some ‘cool’ ones from fat face, Amazon and rip curl. It means you do not have to constantly reapply cream and worry much less. 6 hours in a pool is going to give a lot of exposure. If you are very pale those apply once seem nonsense.

Also our Australian friends wore rash shirts when they visited us. But then again, they know a lot about public health and skin cancer rates.

I wear a rash vest. I'm 46 and tan fairly well. However I dont fancy skin cancer or looking like a handbag. I make my 12 and 14 year old wear them. I say make but they don't make much of a fuss.

OP, I'm with you on needing UV protection. The summer sun in many parts of Europe has a UV index of 9-10 between 12-4pm, which is the same as Australian summer sun around Sydney and up the NSW coast. And Aussies are generally far more responsible about UV protection than us Europeans.

When I was there, I saw a lot of teenage girls wearing rash vests that looked like normal t-shirts over bikini bottoms. Sort of like this: www.citybeach.com.au/womens/swimwear/wetties-rashies/sand-dunes-cap-sleeve-rash-vest?itemId=3074457345617526180

It wasn't surfers, who tended to wear more sporty looking things, but just teenagers out with their mates on the beach. Would your DD consider something similar as a compromise? It covers the most burn-prone parts and she can slap on factor 50 everywhere else.

It must vary then in different parts of Australia. Certainly the Australians I've known have been very keen on them and insisted everyone wears them where they are from.

Can you not compromise with wearing the rash vest part of the time in the pool with a vest need 12-2? Dd15 still wears a rash vest at times especially when she's jumping in etc - her choice. We use ultrasun 50 and then top up during the day. Ds 14 stopped wearing rash vests a couple of years ago but will wear a t shirt in the pool just not all the time

Seems way over the top for a European holiday. I've never known anyone burn with P20 and its waterproof with one application. I've only ever seen babies or toddlers in those suits

We go to Egypt every August. It is 40 degrees by 10am. DD is 13 now and the rule remains as it always is - between 10am and 4pm she's in a rash vest. She wears a swimming costume/bikini otherwise. I stay in the shade all day but if I'm in the pool or water park with DD I wear one as well. We both wear hats/bandanas as well.

None of us is fair, DH is mixed race, I'm a mutt who tans well and DD is a mix of us both. Both DH and I have burnt badly before but DD never has.

We all wear P20 or Ultrasun and all come back tanned as hell despite all precautions. This rule is not up for discussion, and she knows it.

Could you compromise on uv vest when in the pool; cream and swimmers out of pool. Shade if it's peak time.

We use once a day cream and have never had an issue with burning. We'd reapply if been in the pool and had to towel dry.

Absolutely stuck to your guns. You’ve compromised with the photo situation.

I had a huge chunk of skin taken off my back after skin cancer 5 years ago caused by burning as a child. Believe me,she’s feel far more self conscious about that.

So between the hours of 10 and 4 I’d say rash vest.

On holiday recently,I was the only adult wearing one but I didn’t give a shit. The amount of burnt flesh on display was scary. Just a shame I had to learn the lesson the hard way.

fuckwit central as usual on these threads. mn pushes that it is not feminine to understand science. seems to be working.

good luck to all those in the lobster club because it is apparently adult to wear sagging knickers and bra and expect suncream not to wash or rub off. sounds like it should get bred out but a harsh way to do it when using brains is an option.

I think I might drop the shorts requirement but keep the rash vest.

Boden do some lovely ones, but pricey but nice colours/patterns with bikinis to match.

I know where you're coming from as she's still your baby and her skin is precious but.... she is a teenager.
Try factor 50 p20 apply once in the morning 30 minutes before going out and once after lunch time (it says it lasts 10 hours but I'm paranoid), she shouldn't burn using it at all, it's great stuff. I'm blonde, blue eyed and freckled and use the factor 20 version.

I do tend to go in the shade for a couple of hours at lunchtime though x

Also just leaving this link for all those praising the apply once creams www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/business-36396187

The dc and I are olive skinned and we're just not in the sun between 12 and 4pm. For pale people even with rash vests and sun screen to be out during those hours is very irresponsible.

I think it depends what you mean by UV clothes, the lightweight ones DD had as a toddler I can see being viewed as babyish, because well they are. A cool rash vest and a pair of board shorts instead would be much more acceptable to a teen I'd imagine. Animal are normally cheapest but you called always get Roxy which are often stocked in Tkmaxx

I had to google rash vest to find out what one is.
Google "Australians on the beach" and almost every pic is white people wearing minimal clothing -- no rash vests at all.
Your battle to fight, OP. I'd probably make other decisions.

At 13?! No wonder she's not impressed, that's the sort of thing a much much younger (toddler) child would wear, in my opinion. A decent, regularly applied factor 30/50 would be fine. I also have the same complexion as your daughter and that's what I do, very rarely burn.