To want a lie in on holiday????!

[Goldmonday]

Going on holiday with DH is becoming extremely aggravating.

We are currently in Venice for a week and he insists that we wake up at 7.30 am every single day and are dressed, eaten breakfast and out of the hotel by 9. This is commonplace wherever we go. So we are out of the hotel by 9 am and not getting back until after midnight.

This coupled with the fact that we are up late drinking wine every night means I am becoming more exhausted than what I am at home, as he also doesn't like to go to bed before 11!!!!!

AIBU to want a holiday where I don't have to fit around someone else's sleeping routines?!?! I'm sick of being called boring because I want to sleep in and drink coffee on the balcony all morning.

DP and I had a city break in Hamburg, staying at a hotel near the airport. Day 1, his alarm went off at 7.30am and I grumpily told him off - "we're on holiday - I want a lie in". His reply - "there's been 747s taking off over us since 6am and you've slept through all that, but a tinny little alarm wakes you!".

I am your dp in our relationship - I naturally wake up early and can’t stand sitting around in a hotel when there are things to see. The difference is I’m perfectly happily tootling off on my own somewhere for a few hours then meeting up with dp later on when he’s had his lie in. I don’t expect him to be up at the buttcrack of dawn on his holiday just because I enjoy it.

Hahahahahah @Stormy76 I absolutely get you!!! It's always "we have come all the way here why do you want to waste time sleeping"

I have demanded that the next holiday we go on will be a resort/sunbathing/doing nothing type holiday (my heaven!). This morning we had the usual debacle however I outright refused and told him to entertain himself for a few hours so he skulked off to a nearby cafe. Making progress!!!!!!!

And also I have tried the alarm trick!!!!! He still woke up at the crack of dawn I think it's in his blood!!

We are both early risers, even without an alarm at the weekend we still wake at 6, we are fairly early bedders though! We are the exact same on holiday, luckily we are both morning people. I can see how it would grate on someone though. YANBU

My dh is an early riser and I’m not. I just don’t get up 😆

Yes, this is me on holiday as I'm a planner and don't like sleeping in when I'm abroad as I can do that at home! But then I don't drink so don't have to contend with the hangover or feeling peaky. For a city break holiday I'd always be up early and expect to be out most of the day sightseeing, but a beach holiday I'm more relaxed about (although I still like to be 'out' as I don't enjoy just sitting in a hotel room). Luckily DP is happy to go with the flow whatever

This is me too.

Ahh yes !!! We're the same as your DH here, love to be out and about early to avoid crowds etc, my DH went for a 6am jog round st marks square several times and said it was beautiful ! (I stayed in bed for that part !) saying that we didn't stay up drinking and napped in the after noon (say 3-5) would that be an option ?
Enjoy Venice !!! It's our favourite place ever !!

Depends on the holiday but surely with a sightseeing holiday you want to make the most of it rather than having a lie in every day. I would insist on going to bed earlier.

Let him skulk off to a cafe then and join him later. Don't know how much longer your holiday is but try to compromise and meet him for lunch somewhere instead. He sounds quite inflexible though; is he usually like this?

Go to bed earlier. My DH can burn the candle at both ends but that's because he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and can also nap really easily during the day. I need a good half hour at least to fall asleep and don't nap during the day so need to go to bed an hour earlier.

I'm like your DH on holiday, no point staying in bed when there's things to do and see - that's what lazy weekends at home are for. You sound mismatched when it comes to holidays though so you'll have to compromise.

Crikey it’s a holiday not an endurance test. 😳

Sounds a horrible holiday- having this amount of conflict.

Holidays should be fun.

How long have you been together? Any kids?

I think in a place/at a time when temperatures are high and where popular attractions get crowded, early sightseeing - when it's cooler and quieter makes sense.

But it's also sensible to have a siesta in the hotter part of the day - returning to accommodation or sitting with a cold drink and reading somewhere peaceful.

It's then possible to recharge for the latter part of the afternoon and evening.

Good communication and a willingness on both sides to compromise a little would/will help....

Mine has taken up cycling sneaks off at 7am silently and peddles furiously round the surrounding countryside. Dds and I wake around 10 and have breakfast dh rocks up with croissants. Found our balance! Could you encourage a solitary hobby that gets rid of him 7 - 10am?

It's your holiday too: sit him down and say you like getting up late, taking it easy and you'll compromise by having a few early starts during the holiday. Otherwise arrange to meet for lunch then spend the rest of the day together. Really IMO there is no reason for mega early starts unless you are going on an excursion or something for the day.

I like an early start on holiday but we tend to rest at the hotel for a bit in the afternoons and don't stay up massively late.
I used to do what you're doing now and then crash from exhaustion so I have learned to pace myself.

I am afraid I am with your DH. I love to get up and make the most of the day on holiday - there is so much to see and do and fun to be had, I don't want to be in bed! Luckily my OH is on the same page as me so it's OK.

I tend to get up early on holiday like you DH so I don't waste the day.

That being said, I have no stamina and I'm normally in bed by about half 9, 10. Even if it's just reading a book.

Maybe see if you can have a lay in day and a late night or an early start and an early night. What's the point of a holiday if you're totally exhausted?!

I don't understand why you go on holiday together when you both hate it! I wouldn't choose a partner who wanted holidays like this though or who sulked because I didn't do exactly what he said!

However, I wouldn't choose a city break if I wanted a lazy holiday, I'd choose a beach holiday. Most people are up and about early in cities especially if it's hot because you want to be shaded in the hottest part of the day really.

I went on holiday with a friend without having talked through what we wanted. I hadn't realised she wanted to be active all the time like your DH. However, if you're married surely you've been on holiday before and know what each other wants from a holiday?
I don't agree with the compromise thing at all. A holiday is all about relaxation. No point being on holiday if you have to get up same time or even earlier than to go to work.

How would he feel about a siesta? When we went to Sicily we got up early so we were sightseeing in the cooler part of the day, but then we slept for a couple of hours before getting up for dinner. It was very civilised (and meant we missed the worst of the crowds).

" it's also sensible to have a siesta in the hotter part of the day - returning to accommodation "

It might be sensible, but not possible for everyone. I can't sleep 'on demand' so definitely wouldn't be waking up early and going to bed late because it's 'sensible' to have a siesta, because there's no guarantee I'd be able to sleep in the middle of the day.

Sorry, posted too soon - I meant to add that if he doesn't fancy that, it's easy for you to do solo and then meet him for dinner afterwards.