to think I can't get out of this event without being a bitch?

[TrickyTrickTrick]

I have been invited to a friend's 30th birthday. She is not a close friend as such, we've been out for group drinks a few times, chat on the school run, our DC are friends but we are still in the 'getting to know you' phase of new friendship.

The original plan was a weekend away, city break type. Shopping/spa/dinner/drinks etc. I said yes to going (a few of my closer friends are also going), date arranged and plans to book hotel etc going on.

This friend has now changed her mind about what she wants to do and wants to go to a retreat that does 'group healing' and 'mediumship workshops' and other stuff along that line. This is so not my thing its not even funny, i don't even know how i could handle a whole weekend of that sort of stuff.

Obviously to her face I would never say anything, the last time she organised going to a medium thing i was 'busy'. i'm completely happy with the 'each to their own' thing but i would never go to something like that and have no interest in being 'openminded' to something like it. I would normally make sure i was 'busy' for any of these sorts of invites, I don't want to offend people by outright saying 'its a load of hokum, not on your life would you get me there' but that is the truth of my feelings to be honest!

But i have already said yes to her original invite! Is there any way I can back out of this without being a bitch? It's not completely selfish, I am also genuinely worried I will ruin the weekend for her because I cannot take that sort of stuff seriously.

What do I do? Can I get out of this without effectively saying 'i think you're a nutter to believe this stuff?' Or do I have to somehow suck it up for a weekend (and hate every second).

Help!!

slightlyperturbed doesn't make for a very interesting thread though does it? all nicely resolved in 2 pages?!

Actually Tricky it makes a nice change to see one of these situations resolved to the satisfaction of all involved, as normally happens in RL, rather than the totally made up for attention on the internet all out war, CF sagas that have become so prevalent on MN!

I’m sure it’s a much nicer RL outcome though Tricky

There is a big difference between shopping/spa/dinner/drinks and medium workshops/group healing. If people are into mediums etc then of course I have no problem with that, but personally I wouldn't feel comfortable or go myself. I would be honest with her and simply say you're not up for the medium workshop etc because you don't feel comfortable, thanks for the invite but you won't be coming, you hope she has a lovely time.

Er read the thread maybe BlueJava

When did going out for a celebratory drink / meal morph into a full-blown expense-to-the-hilt hen weekend stylee thing for a 30th??

true but CF threads are my new guilty pleasure!!

bluetrews no idea, but as most of the group are parents of small kids we are all jumping at the chance to get away for the night!!

I find CF threads as entertaining as the next MNer but IRL I would much rather have an outcome like yours, Tricky

Also, it turned out that the birthday girl wasn't a CF at all, just someone who wanted to do something niche for her birthday with as many friends as would enjoy it. For those not into her niche interest there is the meal/drinks thing the following evening. I'm with CoolPuffs here, it's very refreshing to read a thread with a sensible, rational resolution.