To think he can cook himself if doesn't like it

[LovelyBath77]

Just made a lovely curry for the in laws - butternut squash and coconut milk, one of their favourites. My husband is being rude about my cooking - 'curry again' and refused to eat any. I'm getting fed up with this. He doesn't seem to like anything I make, but when I ask what he would like won't give me any ideas. It's starting to annoy me now. AIBU in thinking he needs to cook for himself if he isn't happy with anything I make.

Stick a tin of beans and a fork at his place.

Yes don't cook for him anymore. Stick to it though.

YANBU. If he isn’t happy he needs to cook something himself or if he can’t cook, get takeaway or take you out.

Duck that! My H is aware of you moan about food then be prepared to sort yourself out

Ok, that makes me feel a bit better. As have been doing that, but he is just eating things like bread, cheese and crisps (and sulking). It is very irritating.

Op, is he a disrespectful and ungrateful dick in other respects? Your curry sounds delicious, I might give that a try!

Stuff that. He can bloody well make his own dinner! I'd be horrified to get a reaction like that from dp if I'd taken the time and effort to cook a nice meal for him.

I think he has issues with food. Possibly an eating disorder. I'm not sure. But he needs to sort it out. I think it is maybe something beyond this. But he needs to deal with that...

What a dick.
Why would he do that, why?

Don't ask him what he wants. Cook what you want, he can eat it or not.

Why is the cooking solely your job? Does he do other things?

Lil the curry is from a book called Three good things by Hugh Fearnley-watsit. It is basically chillies, onion and curry powder base, lots of b'nut squash and a tin of coconut milk, with wild / basmati rice.

A sulker. Mmm what an attractive quality in an adult. YANBU.

I'd be so fucked off with his childish behaviour I think I'd savour the butternut curry all the more, so what if he has bread and cheese. Can't he cook?

He is lovely usually, he works hard, does lots with the children and is a sensitive person. I think he may have food issues. but an unsure. His family all seem to. Glad to hear it would be usual to feel like this though. I'm not going to fanny around cooking all sorts of new stuff to tempt his appetite.

Sounds like my kind of curry lovelybath I'm always apprehensive about chopping a squash, it looks difficult! Do you feel able to tell your (arsehole) partner how he makes you feel?

With an attitude like that, he'd be wearing it in this house.

Cook what you like for you and the dc and let him shop and cook for himself.

Well, I said in front of everyone, when he said about curry again 'That is rude' and then MIL made a big thing of saying how lovely it was, several times. She even brought FIL in saying how much he liked it too. Bless her.

I should mention husband has crohns disease. and maybe could be about that. but has not found curry bad in the past for it. I thought the turmeric might actually be helpful as it is anti-inflammatory.

He cooks quite a bit especially on holiday - maybe he will do some more of his own (hopefully) day to day, as I am doing the children as well

You say you cooked it for the in-laws, so presumably they were there when he refused it. What did they say to him?

If he's going to be rude about what you've cooked, then of course he should do his own food. I think you need to have a talk about what's going on.

Take turns at cooking, alternate days? Then he can do the lot, choosing, shopping, prepping and cooking.

My MIL tried to encourage him to try some (she wanted some more and think she was being polite by asking him first). but he just kind of didn;t answer then had a bit of bread. So she and FIL had the rest.

Just had a quick look online at IBD and eating and it says they often go for things like bread as it doesn't hurt the tummy as much. so it could be that. Think I need to speak to him about it perhaps and find out if that is the problem...possibly.

Tricky as I am going low carb atm for health reasons but he just seems to crave sugar, crisps and bread which I'm sure isn't healthy in the long run is it.

I have Ulcerative Colitis and I had(still some times have)issues with food,I was anorexic for years when I was younger,but if someone cooks for me I'm never rude about what they've cooked.

Sometimes I may not be able to eat something that someone has cooked but then I always feel really bad about it.

NO, NO, NO! Don't do research into IBD or anything else in some vague attempt to enable his rude behaviour any further. Just, FUCK THAT. Don't cook for him any more. Just stop. Cook what you want, when he asks 'What about me?' Just tell him, 'I'm no longer cooking for you because you are rude and sulking. Sort yourself out.'

And leave him to it.

Thanks holidays. Just thinking it might not be easy for him to say if it would make his tummy worse in front of us all, he's very private about his illness and asked me not to tell in laws about ti as they get very anxious. So it could possibly be a way out of eating it 'curry again' possibly. Oh I don't know. he can take to me though. he won't eat all day and says this is fasting, but he is very thin. I wonder if it must be hard to talk about anorexia as a man as well...

I think the idea of him 'cooking himself' fits perfectly He might find he's a bit chewy though.

Expat I am doing that, too. Just feeling guilty. I know he is old enough to sort this out and I'm fed up with it. he is perfectly able of cooking and I need to stop feeling responsible for any of it. We have a sop literally round the corner too.

shop I mean!