If you wont see your child on their birthday due to circumstances outwith your control how do you celebrate?

[bluetrampolines]

And when do you decide to celebrate?

Just that.

Depends on the age of the child.

If They are too young to know just pick the nearest date and have that as the birthday

If older let them decide what they want to do!

I am divorced and the last few DCs birthdays have been on his contact time. Whoever has the DC arranges a party or Birthday treat. If it's with their dad, I also do a family meal out to venue of birthday child's choice as close to the birthday as possible.

On the next nearest weekend, usually.

When I was a child I had two birthdays. The 18th of June and 18th August. It made me feel like the Queen.

I remember when I was a teenager my mum was away for my birthday one year and on another year had to work. Both times she just left me a present and a generous amount of money. While I would have never admitted to wanting a family celebration in actual fact both times I felt secretly quite upset.

Okadas

What did the parent you were away from do on your actual birthday?

You mean beyond your control

Do i really? Thanks for that.

And I guess you meant to complete your sentence with a fool stop.

If I wasn’t seeing DD on her birthday I’d treat it as a normal day. It’s not my birthday so I wouldn’t celebrate. I’d just pick a day to celebrate with her instead.

Thank you. But when would you celebrate? Im talking 2 siblings pre school?

When you see them again, obviously, I would have thought?

Whenever it's most convenient! You can't help other things or life events getting in the way, and your children do need to learn that lesson. It's not like you're planning on depriving them of their gifts is it?

If my DD is with her dad for her birthday I arrange her party for the weekend before or after as he lives away from her friends. We then have a little tea party for family at home on day before she goes or comes back

Depends are you not with them for the whole day or just part of the day? What age are they? If whole day and they are pre-teen we’d do low key celebration the day before I.e. cake,cards then big celebration on the weekend nearest to the birthday. Teenage and over i’d probably leave cards and presents for them to open on the day then celebrate at the weekend.
If it’s just part the day e.g. birthday falls on school day we’d do cards and presents in the morning and a special tea and cake in the afternoon then big celebration at the weekend.

Preschool I’d do it before their birthday because they don’t get time and might think you’d forgotten

What did the parent you were away from do on your actual birthday?

On my actual birthday they would phone in the evening to see if I had a good day.
Then for my second birthday we planned something I wanted to do. Trip to the zoo, fun day with the other cousins etc. Parties on every birthday were not a thing when I was a child.

You mean beyond your control

Why are you correcting the OP? Outwith is perfectly valid. Scottish word, I believe. Correcting something which isn’t wrong is quite shitty.

Depends completely on their age.

Blue trampolines - there have been several years when DS1 ws away for his birthday. Seems to upset me more than him. I pack presents in his bag, including surprise presents and sweets to share around, a jokey card too. Then on the day he gets back I have paper bunting out and a caek baked and any main present wrapped up ready for him to open. Also phone, text and skype if possible.

Yes pre school and yes with their father. Domestic abuse situation. I wont contact them on their birthday.

I think i'll do a friends party before and one gift from me. Then my parents birthday cake after.

It depends on their age.

I’m a nanny and over 31 years thre have been plenty of times when mum and/or Dad had to be away for a birthday.

If they don’t know the date (current charge knows his birthday date but he rarely knows the current date, he’s almost 5 and will always be off school on his birthday so will be a while before he know current date) then we celebrate the nearest day that both parents are home and then we have a tea party with friends on the actual day.

What I have learned is that children really don’t care what day they celebrate as long as there are presents, cake and people they care about!

Callaird. I really hope you are right.

Yes, I think Callaird is absolutely right. Your children know that you adore them. They will love having cake/presents/a party/a trip out with you. If they are pre school age they really will not care about what day it happens.

That’s hard for you OP but for the kids it’s just double the celebrations.
My DD always ends up with about 4 celebrations. One at home, one with my mum, one with DH’s Mum and step dad and one with DH’s Dad. She enjoys all of them regardless of the day. Kids love to be made a fuss of and to feel special no matter what the day.