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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU...nursery, eczema and water play??

53 replies

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 06:30

Long story short.. DS (2.5) has bad eczema on his hands. He has to wear plasters around his wrists as night due to scratching and bleeding. These come off during day.
Steroids twice daily etc etc, waiting for dermatologist appointment.

My AIBU...when it's really bad we ask the nursery not to let him play with water as it make is worse. This has never been a problem until recently, with some staff turnover and two newer staff members.

Everyday last week I reiterated that his eczema was badly flared up (they could see this) and that, whilst I understand it's hard to keep a two year old away from fun stuff, could they try to keep him away from the water. And everyday he came home in different clothes to the ones he went in in, due to getting wet playing with water. Not just once, but he had soaked the clothes he was wearing. His spare clothes and a set of nursery spare clothes. EVERY day.

His hands are red raw.

When I picked him up on Thursday (he goes mon - thurs) I had the same convo with them about water play again and again their response is 'but he likes water play' it doesn't matter what I say, his new key workers response is 'but he likes it'. I got snapped out by the new Nippy one when I arrived saying that his key worker wanted a chat with me.

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Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 06:31

Oh no I pressed post too soon! Story shall continue..

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anotherangel2 · 09/06/2018 06:33

Ask to speak to the manager and ask them how they are going to meet your lo medical needs.

My just turned two year knows there is food she can’t have due to cow milk. Have you spoken to your little one about it? Obviously it is not his responsibility.

Sportsnight · 09/06/2018 06:35

Tell them you will remove him from the nursery if they can’t manage his needs. A child being sent home with red raw skin is an appalling state of affairs.

VioletPickles · 09/06/2018 06:36

My daughter is the same. But her nursery didn't allow her to go to the water table or paint if I told them in the morning that her hands were too bad. I gave them her prescription creams and soaps for handwashing too. She had tiny gloves that she has to wear when the skin was bad. Gloves = no wet activities! The key worker should definitely be able to accommodate this.

Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 06:36

Anyway, this chat was to tell me off for not providing enough spare clothes, given how much my DS likes water play. She said he needs at least 3 per day. Again, repeat the water play and eczema debate here.

So, AIBU to now take this to the nursery manager?

Also, I would like to raise their tone of voice (the two new people) as everything seems to be said in a very telling off tone. On Thursday when I was being told off again my DS was screaming; he'd had no nap and was over tired, and in the end I just walked out as I was unable to deal with DS and speak to them properly. WIBU to also raise that there is a time and a place to start arguments with me and maybe this could have waited until our already scheduled progress meetings on Tuesday, not whilst my DS was having a meltdown?

Also, this is not the first time but he also had a soiled nappy which had clearly been there a while. It was just him and one other child inside with the two new people as everyone else was in the garden. He has since had a sore backside, which. He never gets.

I just don't know how to start this convo..I'm unsure if I'm being precious and it really is too hard to keep him away from water in nursery?

Sorry for the long rambling!

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Greenandcabbagelooking · 09/06/2018 06:38

Could he (or possibly would he?!) wear rubber gloves to play in the water? Or would that irritate his skin more?

Nursery need to distract him away from the water if it’s going to make his eczema worse.

Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 06:38

I have talked to my DS about it but I don't think he completely gets it

I'm looking at new Nurseries, unfortunately most around us either have a year long waiting lit or are £20 a day more which we really can't afford

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Ladybythebeach · 09/06/2018 06:44

So sorry to hear you're in this situation - sounds very stressful.

I think I'd be looking at moving and finding alternative childcare immediately. Their lack of car with his eczema is bad enough but that alongside dirty nappies and missing naps would do it for me.

What are your thoughts on childminders?

Ladybythebeach · 09/06/2018 06:44

*care!!

Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 06:46

Last week was the final straw for me too. He misses naps a fair amount as well to be honest, I assumed that this was probably the norm for kids DS's age at nursery?

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Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 06:47

Would love a childminder, just can't afford it

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Passmeabrew · 09/06/2018 06:47

YANBU. I should imagine it is very difficult to keep a 2 year old away from a water but ot dpesn't even sound like they are trying! They should be enticing him away with other fun activities, and then telling him no and movong him away if that just work, not just letting him go for it! And then to lecture you that he needs more clothes to enable him to play with the very thing you have asked them not to is just so cheeky!

It sounds like they are in the group of people who think eczema is 'just a bit of dry skin' and have no clue on just how sore and painful it can be. I think they have left you no choice but to go to the manager. Their attitude to both you and your sons health is unacceptable.

MissSusanSays · 09/06/2018 06:51

They should be able to get him down for a nap as well. Dd’s nursery manage to get all the toddler to sleep for at least a bit unless told otherwise.

They sound like they aren’t listening and assume they know better. Talk to the manager.

Ivegotfamilyandidrinkcupsoftea · 09/06/2018 06:52

Yanbu to speak to management about this

However sounds like they do not have the right attitude there and i would be moving him

Jaxtellerswife · 09/06/2018 06:52

Not to be unhelpful deliberately but, they are showed of shit.
They aren't listening to your child's needs, in more ways than one.
They are asking for three changes of clothes which I've never heard of after twenty years of work in childcare.
They aren't communicating amongst themselves properly about children's needs.
Staff turnover is also a clue that things aren't great there.
I'll be honest, you could approach the manager and they might be great. Or they might seem great, but then roll their eyes with the staff and dismiss you behind your back. I've seen this countless times.
But if your child has to attend this nursery then yes, be firm and make them listen. If you think they are not meeting basic needs of children you can always speak to ofsted anonymously

MissSusanSays · 09/06/2018 06:53

Also, the lack of naps might be helping. I’ve noticed that DD’s eczema is stress triggered. So, lots worse if she is chronicallly tired, ill or teething.

Tumilnaughts · 09/06/2018 06:55

I would definitely make a complaint to the management. Are they a national chain by any chance? If so, if nothing is done following your discussion with management I would be inclined to place a formal complaint with them as well.

Solasum · 09/06/2018 06:56

As a temporary measure, get some hydromol ointment from the chemist. It is really good for super dry skin, and will provide a bit of a barrier against the water (it is the consistency of Vaseline).

Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 06:57

They've always been a bit of an organised chaos nursery, but he's always been happy and we've never had any actual proper issues except for the odd bit of naff communication. But the last couple of weeks have just been ridiculous in my opinion.

I contacted as many nurseries as I could on Friday, just need to figure out how to deal with this until I can actually gent him moved, and unfortunately taking annual leave isn't an option.

Last week, he came home in one of his shoes and the other foot was another boy's shoe (granted they have the same shoes but they both have their names written inside..) it took them THREE days and a lot o pestering to get ten to swap the shoes over.

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Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 07:00

They're not a national chain, they are a local social enterprise nursery which is part of a good charity.
It's one of the reasons we chose them.

The lead nursery worker left and it's not been great since, but last week was just crap.

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KilledByHerOwnCardigan · 09/06/2018 07:00

They are injuring your son. You are absolutely reasonable to escalate this. He may like the water play, but I bet he like healed, un-raw, uninfected skin more!

icklekid · 09/06/2018 07:02

Childminders are normally cheaper than nursery definitely worth exploring???

Bodicea · 09/06/2018 07:02

I would definately have a word with the manager. Their attitude is ridiculous. We have had loads of similar problems with our sons hands. Bleeding, splitting at every knuckle. He actually lost a nail, just stopped growing at one point. Our nursery are pretty good and will up the moisturising when I ask.
Water play not so much of a problem for us I think but diggin in the soil etc seems to be.
under a dermatologist and awaiting patch tests as he suspects contact dermatitis as well as eczema. It has cleared up a bit recently. I suspect the good weather has helped. He also prescribed betamethasone valerate/ clioquinol ointment. It’s rarely used ( possibly as it’s £60 a tube) but has really helped clear it up. Would prob need a derm to prescribe though.
Hope you can get it sorted. It’s miserable. Our son is nearly 5 now. He has really suffered in the past and. He doesn’t normally let his eczema get him down but this recent problem with him handshand him up crying in the night all he time, crying for plasters. Breaks your heart. Wish eczema was taken a bit more seriously.

Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 07:11

Green sorry I missed your post. Rubber gloves aren't a bad idea, where could I get toddler sized ones? Amazon? googles

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Original poster

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 07:17

Our nursey is only £40 a day, a childminder would be much more?

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