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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU...nursery, eczema and water play??

53 replies

sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 06:30

Long story short.. DS (2.5) has bad eczema on his hands. He has to wear plasters around his wrists as night due to scratching and bleeding. These come off during day.
Steroids twice daily etc etc, waiting for dermatologist appointment.

My AIBU...when it's really bad we ask the nursery not to let him play with water as it make is worse. This has never been a problem until recently, with some staff turnover and two newer staff members.

Everyday last week I reiterated that his eczema was badly flared up (they could see this) and that, whilst I understand it's hard to keep a two year old away from fun stuff, could they try to keep him away from the water. And everyday he came home in different clothes to the ones he went in in, due to getting wet playing with water. Not just once, but he had soaked the clothes he was wearing. His spare clothes and a set of nursery spare clothes. EVERY day.

His hands are red raw.

When I picked him up on Thursday (he goes mon - thurs) I had the same convo with them about water play again and again their response is 'but he likes water play' it doesn't matter what I say, his new key workers response is 'but he likes it'. I got snapped out by the new Nippy one when I arrived saying that his key worker wanted a chat with me.

OP posts:
SurfingSally · 09/06/2018 07:21

Yadnbu.

Even if you take out the exzema, there is no way that I wound be happy with my child being allowed to go through three outfits in a day.

That's bloody nonsense - move the water away!

user789653241 · 09/06/2018 07:22

My ds had bad eczema on his hand/wrist when he was in nursery, but he loved water play. I asked them to put thick cream on before and after.
As others have said water wasn't too bad for him, touching soil was worse.

SurfingSally · 09/06/2018 07:23

Have you looked at cm costs though? Because IME the pp is right, they're often cheaper.

My cm charges £33 a day and local nurseries are more like £40-45.

InDubiousBattle · 09/06/2018 07:25

Cms where I live are around £4.50 per hour, nurseries are more expensive. You should definitely be speaking to the manager but Tbh they don't sound good at all. Have you tried Pro Topic ointment? It cleared up my ds's terrible eczema when steroids failed.

pudcat · 09/06/2018 07:30

Why are the staff not putting the children in waterproof aprons for water play? Easy to distract him from the water as well as a member of staff should be supervising water play.

IWantMyHatBack · 09/06/2018 07:31

Childminder will almost certainly be cheaper than nursery, have a ring round.

Definitely speak to the manager about this, they're causing harm to your child.

MemorylikeDory · 09/06/2018 07:32

I would take this to the nursery manager without a doubt. You've spoken to his room and key worker time for the next step. Write everything down that you've had a conversation with his key worker/room about noting times and dates.

I'd personally phone and speak to the manager but then also send an e-mail discussing the points raised and any agreed actions and thanking them for their time (presuming the phone call goes well).

This just means you have a paper trail or what you have done so far should your complaint need to be taken further.

Ultimately they have a duty of care towards your DS. Their argument is invalid 'he likes water play'. So if he had a milk intolerance would they let him drink milk just because he liked it? No because that's not in his best interests.

BrutusMcDogface · 09/06/2018 07:33

pudcat beat me to it. Your son should be kept away from the water because of his hands, no two ways about that!

However, to demand three changes of clothes is just ridiculous. He should be wearingcwaterproofs or at the very least, a waterproof apron.

user1471426142 · 09/06/2018 07:37

The turnover would worry me in of itself but they are simply not meeting your son’s needs and are doing things that are causing him pain while missing the point and nagging you about clothes. Have they done a risk assessment re the excema? When my daughter broke her leg her nursery planned in activities for her, thoroughly briefed all staff on the importance of not getting the cast wet, had strategies for meal times etc. She was absolutely included while being protected. If a child broke an arm, they would have to keep the cast dry so it shouldn’t be beyond them to work out how to keep hands protected (actually the cast covers you can get might help in your situation if you can’t get rubber gloves small enough).

While they might have good objectives being a social enterprise being £20 cheaper than all of the others in your local area might just be a sign they are too cheap

Bodicea · 09/06/2018 08:07

Op I think rubber gloves is a really bad idea!

Di11y · 09/06/2018 08:43

If he had a food allergy they wouldn't care if he really wanted to eat it - it makes his eczema worse, tough.

DD used to react to oranges and knew early on she shouldn't eat them as it makes her itchy.

Could you work on helping him learn the link between water and eczema?

And get them to apply and reapply a barrier cream before and after?

What about providing a waterproof suit with Velcro cuffs that could be adjusted tight? Plus gloves (no idea if poss)

loveisland · 09/06/2018 08:50

Move nursery... you can't train them and they are letting standards slip

Cheby · 09/06/2018 08:54

My CM is £40 a day and she’s brilliant. But please speak to management at the nursery, even while you are looking for alternatives. They sound abysmal.

CircleofWillis · 09/06/2018 09:06

See if you can get your GP to write a letter stating that your son's hands should be kept dry. They will probably put more effort into an instruction from a GP than instructions from "just a mum".

If they are good in every other way I would give them another chance but I would keep looking into alternative childcare options just in case.

insancerre · 09/06/2018 09:09

If you don't want him to play in the water then maybe don't send him to nursery
Most nurseries have continuous provision and children have free access to the water tray most of the day
This nursery is obviously not the right one for you

fuzzyfozzy · 09/06/2018 09:11

I've not heard of a childminder being dearer than a nursery. Tbh I used to be a Chm, and I'd have had water out when he's not there or I'd just tell him it'd make his hands sore and find something else, always loads out.

Goldenbug · 09/06/2018 09:15

Absolutely take it to the manager. If they don't 'get it' move as soon as possible. Maybe try to find the right kind of phrasing to get the point across such as "water play makes my child's condition worse and hurts them.".

If there's no apology and things don't change right away please go to ofsted. The reason so many nurseries are shit is because they can be. They won't improve if there's no incentive, or threat if they don't.

Goldenbug · 09/06/2018 09:19

If you don't want him to play in the water then maybe don't send him to nursery - Do you not think a nursery should be able to look after a child with eczema? Maybe childcare isn't the right profession for you?

insancerre · 09/06/2018 09:20

Thanks for the career advice goldenbug 🤣

Groovee · 09/06/2018 09:25

We had a child with severe eczema and they loved water play. We used to dry him carefully then put his cream on and read a story while it dried in.

I paid £50 a day for a toddler and before and after school place at my childminder.

But I would take this to one the nursery manager as they aren't listening to you as the parent.

Original poster
sparklefarts · 09/06/2018 09:26

Even if you take out the exzema, there is no way that I wound be happy with my child being allowed to go through three outfits in a day.

My thoughts exactly!
Another comment I got was 'well I watch him, but I turned around and he was in the sink soaked' now I've seen their sink and I've seen my sons climbinf abilities...unless one of his little buddies was giving him a boost up there is no way he did that whilst she simply 'turned around for a second'

OP posts:
insancerre · 09/06/2018 09:29

Was he really in the sink?
Isn't that just a turn of phrase?
I expect she meant he was at the sink

fabulous01 · 09/06/2018 09:34

Ok. For them to be so cheap 20 quid a day difference is a warning sign
But you should speak to manager and if they can't look at the bigger picture my advice is to look at other options

For eczema have you hydtomol? For it to be steroids so often and for so long that is a serious condition
And if nursery can't base care around serious conditions I would be moving the child

jelliebelly · 09/06/2018 09:46

Definitely go to the manager both of mine have been through nursery and I'd have been livid at this combination of events - there is a reason why it's cheap - if you pay low salaries you'll get inexperienced/poor staff.

I'd definitely look at an alternative.