To ask you to help me word a party invite so i dont offend anyone

[TimeForMy10thCuppa]

Dd is having a party in a few weeks. She has asked for it at a venue that caters to x amount of children. The friends she wants to invite mostly have older siblings that are ds friends. Generally for this group all children invited to all birthday parties. We are looking at double the amount of children which i really cant afford. Dd knows these children but isnt really friends with them. She isnt great with large groups of people either. I wouldnt mind if we had the party at a different venue where we didnt have to pay per child.
With the venue ahe has chosen, you can pay at the door but as far as i know the extras wouldnt be allowed into the party room once activity has finished for food.
So please, can someone help me word this so i dont offend anyone. Thanks in advance.

I’d just change the venue to one you can afford with more people attending or severely limit invitations altogether.

Due to the venue we are unfortunately unable to accommodate siblings at this year's party but please feel free to drop and run.

Can you say something at the bottom like: "Apologies - due to restrictions on numbers imposed by the venue, we are sorry that we can't include siblings this time"?

Will ds be participating? How old? Would parents normally stay or drop and run?

Something like " unfortunately due to permitted numbers we are unable to accommodate siblings at the party"

Is it a public venue like a softly where people could stay with their other kids anyway?

Softplay, even.

Unfortunately we are unable accommodate siblings at the party.

That should cover it. Or for the cheeky fuckers you could add:

Siblings are welcome to use the play facilities during the party at a cost of £x per head. Food and drink are available from the cafe.

Assuming it's at a public venue such as a soft play, I think GlitterGlue's second suggestion is sensible, and not at all rude.

To add, usually parents and siblings ( invited or not) stay and all eat. Noone has ever asked if sinlings can come, they just bring them anyway which is usually fine. Its at a trampoline park, so the parents could pay for the older kids and then take them to the cafe.
It is dds birthday, she wants it at the trampoline park, i dont want to change venue to be honest. Its the same with ds birthday, i feel we have to invite siblings so even with a maximum of 20 kids ds still only invites 10 of hia actual friends. The rest are kids he isnt friends with anymore/ siblings.
Ds will be coming. He has been told he can have 1 friend. Coincidentally, dd also said she wanted to invite this child.

How old are they?

Dd will be 4 so all her friends are 3/4. Ds is 7 so they are all 6 and 7 years old.

Surely they’ll understand that a pay per head party is slightly different to a horde just showing up at the park?
Anyone assuming their 7 year old is invited to the party of their friend’s 4 year old sibling is bonkers, frankly

Wording as suggested upthread so parents know they need to pay for/feed older siblings. I’m sure most people will understand as these places cost a fortune for birthday parties.

The older children are more likely to want to stay on the trampolines anyway rather than go into a party room to play games with 3/4 year olds. I really don’t think a group of 7 year old friends at a trampoline park will care if they are ‘left out’ of a 4 year olds party as they will be having fun anyway.

If you are feeling generous then save a bit of cake to give to older siblings at the end.

I would be happy to pay for my older child but would be very worried about leaving my 3 year old at a trampoline park because she's a bit clingy. I think you should put the cost in the invite x

That seems awfully young for a group of 20 at a trampoline park, potentially without parents on site.

No way can you safely supervise that many 3/4 year olds unless parents stay.

I know I am pretty ancient but when did it become acceptable for siblings to attend parties ( unless they too are friends with party girl/boy)? When either of my DC had a party the other was allowed to invite a friend but I would have been horrified if parents had assumed that their other DC could also attend.

It will be hard at this age for a trampoline park without parents and from my experience parents with siblings will want to bring them. I would add that unfortunately we are not able accommodate or cater for siblings, however if you will like to bring siblings then the entry fee per child is xx payable directly to the venue.

Our trampoline park requires 1 adult per child. So drop and run would be impossible, esp that young.
Just tell it straight, people will understand

I think the thing is to remember it is their party, and so they should invite who they want to without the baggage of trying to invite who the parents think they should. But if it is something you normally do in your circle then just explain when you give out the invitations that unfortunately numbers are limited this year and you asked your child to choose x number. Sooner or later there will be a different sort of party - sleepover or cinema etc for instance where numbers will be limited to a small group anyway.

Why on earth do people think an invitation extends to people other than the named guest?
I've been hosting kids parties 13 years so far and never had a parent assume they can gatecrash with extra kids.

First of all you need to check the rules of the Trampoline Parkand ask them if they can offer you a group discount rate for siblings - then tell the parents how much that will be.

I don’t think it’s any big deal to say that siblings will cost the parents x for entry and that the cafe will be open, as unfortunately siblings won’t be allowed in the limited space party room.

This will be much more the norm as they are all getting older and house/hall parties change to ‘activity’ parties. Really don’t worry about it.

At the bottom say "Siblings can not be accommodated in the party room and will need to pay £x entrance fee and £y for trampolining socks"

I've never been insulted when invitations say this.

Do you really think they'd assume the siblings would be going in and eating for free too? I'd just assume that my child that was friends with your child and named on the invite was invited and would get the free trampoline and food, and if I wanted my other child to have a go on the trampolines and eat, I would be paying.
If it really is convention to pay for food and entertainment of huge groups of children and siblings, I would go with what Puddlejumps said.

If it's at a trampoline park, any cheeky fuckery would surely be stopped at the door because the ones who were not named party guests would have to pay.

You tend to just pay for ten or whatever and they don't just let all and sundry in. But it's worth setting it out on the invitations if people really are that thick/cheeky.