To ask you to help me word a party invite so i dont offend anyone

[TimeForMy10thCuppa]

Dd is having a party in a few weeks. She has asked for it at a venue that caters to x amount of children. The friends she wants to invite mostly have older siblings that are ds friends. Generally for this group all children invited to all birthday parties. We are looking at double the amount of children which i really cant afford. Dd knows these children but isnt really friends with them. She isnt great with large groups of people either. I wouldnt mind if we had the party at a different venue where we didnt have to pay per child.
With the venue ahe has chosen, you can pay at the door but as far as i know the extras wouldnt be allowed into the party room once activity has finished for food.
So please, can someone help me word this so i dont offend anyone. Thanks in advance.

I've been hosting kids parties 13 years so far and never had a parent assume they can gatecrash with extra kids.

It has happened to me when we had the village hall and it was a massive joint party involving both reception classes. I didn't mind siblings staying, eating food etc but I did mind a) Granny and Aunty heartily tucking into the food as I put it out, before the children had a chance b) siblings queuing up for party bags at the end. Thank goodness we'd only gone for sweets and there were loads spare.

It was all rather crazy though the kids enjoyed it. Have never had a problem otherwise, especially at soft play or trampolining. They need names and a number, and trampolining they need all the guests to have a signed waiver, so absolutely no chance of cfs sneaking in.

I really don't understand this new trend for insisting siblings come to a party to which one DC has been invited. It never once came up during my primary school years.

I think it's pushy and CFery

I think "Sorry, on this occasion we cannot accommodate siblings" is fine and anyone who pushes it I would be at.

I've heard it said that people want to bring siblings because one will make a fuss if the other has a party. It seems like madness, that they don't just learn that they and their siblings are allowed separate experiences as part of growing up

Honestly this is a tough one especially if you usually take advantage of being able to take your other child. In that case it actually comes across a bit like you thinking you are more important than everyone else.
If you must persist with this plan you have to accept that you'll never be able to take the non-invited child to another party and expect to have a number of people decline.
To be honest going against the precedent of a group especially where drop and go is not an option would be a bad move.

It did seem to have changed between DD1 when we had the mass parties in Reception and Y1 (born 2005) and DD2 (born 2009). If anyone wanted to bring a sibling they asked with DD1, but a few years later lots of people just assumed it was ok.

To be honest going against the precedent of a group especially where drop and go is not an option would be a bad move.

In this case there is a third option of the parent staying with the other child but paying for them so they get to have a bounce without being part of the party group. That's entirely normal where I live. I don't agree with going with the precedent of a group if it's a stupid, expensive precedent, and most other parents will be glad you've changed it.

I know this isn't what you're asking but I wouldn't leave my 3/4 yr old unattended at a party, unless it was a very small one for a handful of children in someone's house and I knew the parents well. Then I might.

In a public place? No way. I wouldn't expect you to take care of that many and if I'm honest I wouldn't trust you to.

On the sibling thing, just be clear. It's not hard. I get invitations like this all the time. I'm not a cheeky fucker and don't bring siblings to parties ever but loads do expect to do that - be clear "Sorry, on this occasion we cannot accommodate siblings".

Don't refer to venue restrictions or give any reason whatsoever. If they want to pay for themselves and use the facilities that's for them to figure out.

Thank you all, i disnt think of the supervision. I need to call them tonight and see if we have a seperate area or just mixed in with public. So may need to change based on that. She is insistant this is what she wants. So if the adult/ child ratio wont work i will tell he she can pick 1 friend , and will go with that. Thank you all for the wording suggestions too.

I would have a cheap party just at your house with the group, and then take her (and maybe one friend) to the trampoline place as a special day out.

Those places are so dangerous - the number of broken backs/necks that happen there - that you'd be mad to offer to supervise a group of ten 4 year olds there. Recipe for disaster.

This strikes me as complete CFery. When we have party's at home in the garden then I address the invite to the whole family including siblings, but when it is a party at a separate location I only address the invite to the specific friend.
I've had one case, this year actually when someone asked if their son could come too. The party was all girls doing very princessy stuff and I know he'd have been bored and disruptive. I said sadly I couldn't accommodate any more children and she didn't bring her dd as a consequence. I have to say I was very over it.

I thought trampolining wasn't safe for children under 6 - too much stress on their joints?

Never heard of it not being safe for them tbh, they even have a seperate price for them. Can not do a party at home, i did that last year and it was awfull, the weather was lovely but they kept running off inside, which was fine because i moved half the furnitire and toys upstairs. They kept pulling toys out and leaving them which isnt a big deal really, but i had to keep the atairgate at the bottom of the stairs closed because some of the children are and adults are afraid of dogs. There were toys thrown over the gate, alot of shouting at the dog and grabbing her through the gate. She is a lovely dog, extrememly well behaved, great with children, but she started to get quite stressed towards the end. That iant fair on her. I will have to sit bavk doqn with dd and see if we can agree on something else. As pp said even with OH and atleast 1 other parent, it will still be a nightmare trying to supervise 10 kids.

I've always put no siblings on invites, it's rude for uninvited guests to just show up. I would let her just invited friends and state no siblings.

Our nearest trampoline park is 1 child per adult for children under 5, and they can't trampolene without an adult so that means ALL mums or dads would have to be bouncing too. Sounds like a mad thing to do to be honest for that age group. I think I would be a bit peeved if I had to bounce for an hour with my child at a kids birthday party.

I'd put on the invite ' We cannot pay for siblings to join the party dinner but you can pay for siblings at the door if you want to bring them' But also add if there is a restriction on parent/child ratio in case someone brings their 4 year old and 2 year old.

"Due to the nature of the venue, siblings cannot be accommodated.
If this causes a serious inconvenience, for £x they can enter."

How about?

"Dd is excited to welcome you to her birthday party at the trampoline park [insert address] there will be bouncing, then fun activity and party time in a separate space for all invited! We've been advised that siblings are more than welcome to join in with the bouncing with them, and costs of entry can be found on their website if they would like to join."

Or something to that effect?