To wonder what the hell I just heard?

[MysticMeggyMoo]

Just let the dog out for his bedtime pee when I heard the strangest noise coming from next door.
We live in a terrace and it’s quite mild tonight so the windows in all the houses are open.
The noise I heard was almost like a wretch but then when I went inside I could hear it more clearly from upstairs and it was more like the noise you hear people make when they are punched and involuntary let out an “arghh”... It happened numerous times and has now stopped.
I was off to bed but maybe I should go round and check everyone is ok?

It's easy to draw conclusions, isn't it,? There's a pile of feathers on next door's lawn. Most people would assume cat, but something involved in the scufflr crashed into our window, catching my attention, and I saw the magpie ripping a small bird to shreds.

Colditz

What Colditz said. Unless you live by the sea, it which case it’s a bastarding bloody seagull.

Yeah defo a fox or shaggers.

Round here it's like Call The Bloody Midwife when it's calving time over the road.

Sounds like a round from a game show - "fox or shaggers?"

Sounds like a round from a game show - "fox or shaggers?"

I'd watch that.

OP, any update?

My bet would have been stomach flu- there’s one going around. We had it over half term (but not DH).

My biggest worry when we get it is that DH will get it because it’s so incredibly embarrassing! I know. I’m unsympathetic. But he takes the wretching sounds to a whole other level. It’s agonising to listen to.

Do and I once woke up with the most unearthly, terrifying noises in our bedroom. We were so scared I can still shiver remembering it 30 years later.

It was a hedgehog under our bed.

My guess would be someone was having a long and very satisfying shit.

taking a shit

Somebody playing Fortnite. Foxes are getting good at that.

Someone practicing boxing/kickboxing on one of those hanging weighted bags?

I once heard hedgehogs having sex. Perhaps they were actually foxes.

Morning! No update. Their backdoors are open so I’m presuming they are both alive and kicking.
It did cross my mind that it might be sex, however i can’t fathom what sort of position would warrant the repeated really loud noise. They are quite a reserved couple.
Don’t think it was foxes or wildlife as I can see the gardens from my window. I feel quite strongly it was coming from either their living room or bedroom.
I would have asked them today when/if we bump into each other but not sure I will now. Just in case I did hear them in the throws of passion!

I once heard hedgehogs having sex. Perhaps they were actually foxes.
Or maybe they got their spines in the wrong place! It must be a very careful experience having hedgehog sex

It was definitely a hedgehog not a fox in our bedroom. He was very cross indeed. Unless he was a fox in disguise.....

Bertrand tell me you have a ground floor bedroom?

Could be they're playing grand slam tennis.

"Bertrand tell me you have a ground floor bedroom?"
it was a ground floor bedroom with French windows onto the garden. Loved that flat.

Severe constipation and going for the Big Push?

Ok, phew. Was having images of feisty stair climbing hedgehogs

Can you imagine the noise

My vote is hedgehogs having sex too - I once heard this and it went on for AGES, sounded like very heavy breathing

Yes hedgehogs, heard this last spring and saw them in my garden, Circling each other making that noise. Didn’t think little animals like that could be so noisy!