To want to give stuff away to the most 'grateful and deserving cause' ?

[Gameboy]

Was thinking about this when I started another thread about wanting to pass on some baby/ toddler books.

Is it just me, or when you give stuff away, do you want to feel sure that it has gone to a 'deserving cause' i.e. someone who really needs it, and will appreciate it?

Sometimes it seems so hard to 'find' that person/ cause though?

When I've put stuff on Freecycle I feel like adding 'tell me who it's for, and how it will be used' !

I've been annoyed a couple of times to see stuff I've given away (for supposed personal use) then sold on eBay.

However I love it when I've freecycled something, and the recipient e-mail afterwards and say 'thank you so much, the kids adore it' etc

Is that wrong? Am I just being horribly smug and wanting to feel good myself about giving stuff away???

I answered a freecycle ad for a large tea pot - dp had bought me one as a joke a few years ago. I had visions of it being given to an old age pensioners drop in centre or something. I dropped it off for them as I was passing, and it was for a pub. To make money out of. Why couldn't they have bought their own?

I know exactly how you feel, I felt like taking my teapot back and telling them not to be so tight (but I didn't because I didn't have the nerve)

This is the joy of giving things to charity shops - even if some mercenary numpty buys it and puts it on Ebay, or uses it for a week and bins it, the charity have already made a couple of quid.
Or send things to a women's refuge - people there really need them.

I htink it is entirely reasonable to want your stuff to be put to good use and ' do good' for someone. I feel the same way as do many people I think.

Agree that refuges or somilar are a good place to donate.

You're not being at all unreasonable. Putting your donated stuff onto eBay is as low as it gets.

Mrs Badger - the charity shop thing worries me too though, since I found out from someone who works in one exactly how much stuff gets dumped straight into the skip due to full shelves/ wrong season (don't store stuff)/ don't like or appreciate value/ 'don't do kid's books' (or suchlike).

I know it's pathetic, but I want someone to say to me, "yes please, I'd love your gently used baby clothes/ pram/ baby toys, and I'm ever so grateful, because we can't afford things like this otherwise... etc etc"

I just wish there was some way of identifying genuinely 'needy' people...

No, you're not mad!

I have religiously hung on to every stylish things dds have worn since they were about 6mo. And I don't mean 'stylish' in label terms, just stuff that mum has beautifully made them from Liberty print fabric etc.

I just want to find someone who'll appreciate them.

Ditto books.

That's why our house is a bombshell!

I'm in the process of giving a car seat to a mother of twins on freecycle.
I'm receiving a travel potty from there too.
We freecycle and ebay mostly, I have given a fair bit to charity too .

I say again - women's refuge...

I'm pretty needy, Gameboy

Mrs Badger - agree re Women's Refuge - any idea how I find them? (Not advertised as such, for obvious reasons...)

MrsBadger, the Refuge is a great idea, but how do you find out where they are? Is there some central register/depot where the goods are distributed from?

good place to start

I know someone who knows someone (etc) who volunteers at a local one so things get passed along rather than delivered, if that makes sense.

But RabbleRaiser, isn't it your son whose favourite food is mussels?? Doesn't sound very needy to me....

Gameboy, I'm not sure if this answers your question, but I do always give outgrown clothes and toys to a charity shop, on the basis that the charity can sell them and have the cash. This is because we give relatively little actual cash money to charity (always put money in the collecting tins at the supermarket and stuff, but no 'regular giving' as such ), and I can choose which charity such as barnados or NSPCC.

I think it's very difficult to give something to an individual because you think they are a deserving cause. It's a bit 'Lady Bountiful' and it could so easily cause offence.

Shit! Sussed

With baby stuff I gave an awful lot to the centre where I went for the post-natal mums group. They had a cupboard full of baby clothes and linen that were given out to homeless families and those in shelters. Might be worth asking your health visitor if there's a similar scheme in your area.

As for other stuff. Freecycle is one idea, but I do agree there are an awful lot of people who take the pee.

Agnes

I feel the same. I freecycled a breadmaker and let the first person to answer have it.
Not only did he not let me know when he was coming, but turned up in a posh car and a business suit...I could have kicked him out shouting 'buy your own!' but I didn't...

Someone else wanted a mattress I was giving away, only to not turn up at all - when I rang she was 'in the bath' and had not even arranged transport, though the time was agreed and I'd waited in for her. Cow... she even had the nerve to say she still wanted it but I told her to bog off as it was going to someone nice.

flightattendant - ooh, I know! Don't get me on the subject of Freecyclers!

I can't stand the people who e-mail back with things like "give us yer address and I'll take it off yer hands, luv"

Or the person who came for a TV, but then said "oh, I didn't realise it wasn't new" (it was 3 years old and in perfect working order )

I know how you feel. I often wish I knew more about the people collecting some of the things I give away on freecycle. If I receive something I try to send an email thanking the person and to say how I've put the item to use.
As I have no transport I always have to arrange for someone to collect on my behalf so feel it's even more important for me to thank the person.
Recently posted an ad to say I had some newborn and 0-3 and got an email back saying "actually I wanted 3-6mth" which I thought was downright cheeky.

The local hospital, childrens ward would welcome clothes & books, etc.

With my local freecycle (and I believe the principle is the same in all groups) you can choose who you give stuff to. I recently freecycled a table and chairs and when people emailed me I replied asking them why they wanted it as I wanted it to go to a deserving home. Ended up giving it to a recently seperated disabled man - how much more deserving does it get?

Pretty sure it's the policy of Freecycle that the offerer can make people jump through all sorts of hoops if s/he so wishes!
I give most of my baby stuff to either a local young parents charity or the local Basics Bank which helps referred poverty-stricken families in the area. The latter also takes adult clothes and shoes and non-perishibile food.
Your local WomensAid contact is also a worthy place to start - think of those women and kids arriving in the clothes they are wearing. Good home for old pushchairs too I'd imagine.

It's also summer fete season so just contact your local school PTA.

Am I in the minority then of thinking - I don't want it, I'm not going to sell it - just take it away from my house and do what you want with it!?

flamesparrow agree with you . if i dont want it then i dont really care who has it as long as they take it away