My chomping colleague

[Glowbuggy]

I work in a small office, only a few of us and EVERY SINGLE DAY, my colleague brings a bag of carrots to chomp on. I can’t even describe how loud her chomping is, and it makes me murderous with every single bite! How do I stop this without being an arsehole? I’ve tried hints about loud eaters, my misophonia and eating etiquettes. Hints don’t work! This is actually stressing me out and affecting my work 😢

This would make me murderous.

I could write a book on the various people I know who have irritating eating habits.

I would certainly wear headphones. Could you swap desks with someone hard of hearing?

That's only the right thing to do if your objective is for her to stop it. What I'm saying is that that shouldn't be the objective. The objective should be for OP to control her own reaction to it.

Misophonia aside, I think anybody eating noisy or smelly food at their desk is really being inconsiderate of others. Yes you may well be able to eat at your desk, but please, have some consideration for others.

I worked in an office where we could eat at our desk and we were told about microwaving stinky food and eating it at the desk as it could make it a really unpleasant environment for people.
And just the odd crunch, yes fair enough but not all bloody day!!

When you work in an open plan environment, I would try to be considerate of others. Means I don't stink, I don't eat smelly food, I control various unneccessary noises that many people find annoying (whistling, humming, sniffing, slurping and so on).

What's with the need to constantly snack anyway like a bunch of hamsters? I presume you get lunch breaks and have somewhere to eat?

If I was her colleague I’d swap the carrots for bananas or pre cook the carrots and it wouldn’t be a biggie.

This is hilarious. You really think this woman is going to pre-cook a whole bag of carrots before work each day? That’s before you even consider the big difference between snacking on raw carrots and eating a (presumably cold) pile of cooked carrot slices. You may as well tell someone eating sushi that you don’t like the smell and ask them to switch to fish fingers.

There are times when my partners crisp packet rattling gets my hackles up, but the majority of the time, it goes unnoticed. Or going to the cinema and hearing packets rattling and slurps, during the film.You can't tell someone to stop eating this and that because it gets on your nerves. If I were the carrot muncher and you asked me to refrain from eating carrots, I would say ok, I won't eat carrots when you come to work dressed in lederhosen. You have to switch off. Either remove yourself or wear earphones.

You seem to think your right to a quite life is more important than her right to eat loud food. Sorry love, but sometimes we have to put up with some rain in our lives. You are no more important than your colleague. Get your headphones in when she eats, or have a radio on, or leave the room, or eat a packet of crisps yourself so you can’t hear her.

So with you OP, is she grazing on the carrots all day? I could just about put up with it if she was just eating them for her lunch and know there was an end time to my misery, but if it’s a carrot every half hour it would drive me utterly mad. Seriously what is wrong with people this constant need to eat.

Send her photos of horses eating? grin

Or watch videos of horses eating carrots whenever she atarts to eat hers. And put on the speakers, of course.

If you've already spoken to this colleague about how her eating raw carrots (and particularly the munching sound - is that when she is biting into the carrot initially or the chewing sound once the piece is in her mouth?) - is causing you anxiety, then the next step is to keep a diary of exactly when and how often this is happening (should only need a weeks worth of information). Approach your manager with this as it is stopping you carrying out your work to the best of your ability as you're getting distracted and see what they suggest.
Best of luck with it!

If someone asked you to refrain from eating as the noise was irritating, would you not get a complex about eating in public? Being sent pictures / videos of horses eating carrots, could be seen as bullying. What the hell are eating etiquettes? Do you want her to use a knife and fork? Have you really told this woman that there is a proper way to eat carrots without annoying anyone? Maybe this woman has listened to your hints and whining and maybe, she just doesn't give a fuck. It's her prerogative to eat what she likes.

@ Watchyamacallit. Are you serious? Keep a record? Jesus Christ! It is not a playground, nor the council handing out asbos! The OP has the problem, not the carrot cruncher! If I were the OP's boss, I know what I'd suggest. Either put up with it, or look for alternative employment. If you can't function properly because YOU have a problem, then that's YOUR problem. I'm presuming that the bags of carrots in question, are small prepared packs, sometimes called snack packs and not a 25kg bag of whole carrots from the local farm shop.

At least she doesn’t eat 2 boiled eggs and roll them on the table to crack the shell —like I do every day—

I've had misophonia since I was a young child, mealtimes were always torture for me due to crunching, forks touching teeth or plates, slurping of drinks.

It wasn't diagnosed for another 15 years and in that time I used to melt down a lot when others were eating and spent a lot of time with musician grade earplugs as couldn't be seen due to my loads of hair.

To work in an office alongside that all day would have been hell, thankfully any offices I worked in had no food at desk rules and we had breaks which allowed us time to get food and drink, which were taken on a rota so i tended to let the worst offenders for me take the 1st slots while I went on 2nds or 3rds.

I googled how to manage misophonia in the workplace
www.jobboom.com/career/how-to-manage-misophonia-in-the-workplace/

Also with a diagnosis like misophonia, this is something which is causing problems day in day out, which isn't acceptable.

I say this in the same way, if I take from under my desk and liberally spray air freshener around to the point where everyone is wheezing and coughing and having asthma attacks, that would be seen as totally unacceptable but it is acceptable to trigger a condition you have been diagnosed with so you shouldn't be triggered constantly when there are ways around it - like a no desk eating policy for starters

Her eating may be affecting only you soundwise, but potentially her productivity will not be the same if she is eating at her desk during work time so therefore getting paid for less work.

As a pp suggested keep a note this would record how often this happens - how this is making you feel

Misophonia is horrible and is something which is not your fault
@SaucyJack Misophonia is not currently categorised and it was proposed in 2000 but has also been proposed as a symptom in 2015.

It currently doesn't fall under hearing and psychiatric disorders but some see it as a neurological condition

@Schroedingerscatagain hugs to you and your DD

to @Glowbuggy

Could you not request a desk move? My team is fairly small, about 15 people, but if someone at the opposite end of our area was munching on a carrot I doubt I could hear it.

A guy at work buys a box of cooked chicken for his lunch every day and eats it at his desk. He sounds like a horse eating a fecking watermelon. Slurp, slurp, chew, chew, slurp. How the fuck do you even slurp chicken? I know roughly when its going to be so i take a 10 minute break til he's done. If i can't for any reason i feel like i might murder him.

@NobodysChild - yes to keeping a note/record of how often this colleague is doing it. I don't think this is a bad thing, just jot down a note of how frequently it is happening. If the OP approaches the manager with this information, it may help in sorting the issue out, perhaps getting a food free desk environment then all the better.

@Watchyamacallit. Let's say OP notices bag of carrots being opened. Time to start taking notes. Offender starts crunching her carrot sticks, one after another, until she has consumed the whole bag. Presuming it takes roughly the same amount of time to eat the carrots as it does a nice crunchy apple. So, five minutes of crunching. This goes on every day. Same time, (presumably lunch), same amount of time. OP hands in her statement to her boss and demands that something must be done as she is subjected to twenty five minutes per week of a co worker eating her lunch? What does every one else in the office eat? Bananas? boiled carrots? What does the OP eat?

perhaps getting a food free desk environment then all the better.

For whom? I eat at my desk all the time. I don't want to take time out of my work day to go out or sit elsewhere and eat. For me personally, there is no point. I work and eat at the same time, so do a majority of my colleagues.

Not really professional to sit eating all day anyway.?
Really feel for you op.
Speak to her directly and explain that this is an actual illness not you being controlling and you would like to amicably resolve the problem,does she have any suggestions how to do this.
I hope it gets resolved asap🙉

The trouble with working through your lunch break and eating at your desk, is it sets a precedence and employers start expecting everyone to work through lunch.

If OP's not exaggerating about this woman eating all day, then she's NBU to say something. However, if the woman is only actually eating the carrots during her lunch break, then OP IBU.

OP, are you coming back? Can you clarify?

I've only read the first page, but I can't believe that so many posters think it's acceptable for someone to chomp on carrots in an office, with other people around. I wouldn't find it acceptable for someone to be eating anything all day at his/her desk. Stop fucking eating in the office.

Headphones

I totally sympathise this would drive me mad

Stop fucking eating in the office.

Just because you say so? I don't think so.

If the office rules allow eating at desks, then you have to put up with with it. Hazard of working in an open plan office.

I think you need to work on your tolerance level Juells