Ban iPads & Tablets For Children

[londonmummyof1]

Is it just me, or does the iPad generation bother anyone else?

We went on a family holiday to Spain with my husband and almost 3 year old daughter, and at breakfast, lunch and dinner it’s the same sight - parents bringing out iPads for their preschool children to sit and watch - while eating!?! This is something I have never seen before and I absolutely do not agree with. I think seeing the scale of the problem during this one holiday shows what a problem this is. The thing is, the children aren’t even given the choice of asking for the iPad or to watch a show, it’s just slapped down in front of them and then they are glued. No interaction, just plugged into this simulated world, at the prime time in their life they are developing their language, speech, behaviour and personality - under the age of 5.

We did not bring an iPad for our child on holiday because we wanted to play in the swimming/splash pool, go to the beach etc and we spent such quality time with our child with memories we will keep forever.

This did not happen 20 or even 10 years ago - what did parents do with their children then? God forbid did they COMMUNICATE with their children at the dinner table?

What is happening to this world? Why not have a conversation with your child or bring a sticker book or story book for them to look at if feeding time is difficult. Every parent has been there with challenging mealtimes, but lugging the iPad around during 3 mealtimes, that’s a minimum of 3 hours your child is in a zombie state of mind, you’re starving them of developing their speech and ability to play by themselves and entertain themselves through play.

Do parents understand that too much screen time is extremely damaging to young children and can pave the way to obesity and development issues later in life?

I feel so passionate about this topic, as I’ve even seen some parents putting their children in pushchairs by the swimming pools glued to an iPad, when they could be swimming and having fun with their parents or siblings.

Parenting can be really tough, but somehow I think government intervention is required as this is such a vicious cycle, what future are we preparing our children for???

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:

Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Absolutely BAN iPads & Tablets for children.

I would love to know what pathological would do with ds who as well as his autism has severe social anxiety (and many other problems) and even getting him out the house is a major mission (given a choice he would never go out)

When he goes out he needs to “hide” and part of his hiding is his iPad and headphones are part of that so what does our resident perfect parent suggest we do?

Hmmm I actually agree but I wouldn't be so patronising to list examples of alternates

I say this with dc with PlayStation / tablets and a Nintendo ds . Iv started to majorly limit the time or else they go on them all day. Made much more time for other stuff and they don't seem to miss it but still get some screen time every few days . Easier in this hot weather tho

@ICantCopeAnymore. You seem to be very focused on your qualifications. Had you ever considered the fact we are in unchartered territory? I speak from experience. I don't need gadgets to teach, amuse or silence my child despite her having PDA, and I can see her act beautifully in restaurants, eat vegetables with delight, engage in proper conversations, etc. You don't need qualifications to know that children are getting fatter, more round-shouldered with 'tech-necks', less animated, weaker and wimpier. It doesn't take a genius or someone with a qualification in education to see the connection. It does, however, take someone humble enough to admit things are not right and that the situation needs to be examined. I pointed out that Silicon Valley parents are raising their kids 'tech-free' yet all you did was, once again, point out how much you feel qualified and how little you feel I am qualified. You're wearing your badge with pride but, I have to tell you, it's upside down.

@saltandvinegarcrisps1 wife work? All children should contribute to household chores according to age and ability.
Teaching DD how to look after herself and her home doesn't mean I'm training her for a career as housewife.

PathologicalDemandAvoidance you don't seem to understand why many children and adults with standard autism use gadgets when they are in public places.

PathologicalDemandAvoidance Can you understand that all children are different and that even those with the same disabilities have individual responses to the world around them? That what works for one will not necessarily work for others?
My DN14 has autism, cannot even write his name and without access to an iPad or laptop he would not be able to produce any written work.

It turns my preschooler into a rude arsehole, we now stick to colouring or toys when we go out but are relishing the pub gardens this year!

You don't train. You teach a child. She's not a dog.

Also you are a parent of one (who sounds quite easy) child. You have absolutely no idea. Your experience is nothing in comparison to other parents with children with more than 1 child or parents to strong willed children or children with SEN.

So you parent your daughter how you wish. And leave the rest to get on with it how they see fit.

So how is technology making boys more feminine and girls more masculine then, since you're the expert?

I mentioned my qualifications because I would have liked to have seen your personal research or experience that would back up your claims.

It was as I thought. You don't have any. Whatsoever.

@spikeyball I'm not saying it's a given but I am saying it worked for my child...a child whose every teacher gave up on and every friend has walked away from. One teacher even said, 'I am a very patient person but your child pushes me to the limit'. In my experience, the answer is not to give up but to work harder. If the child has attention issues, the worst thing you can do is hand them a gadget that provides them with almost instantaneous responses and deprive them of attention-requiring experiences. If they can't sit still, listen to conversation, make eye contact, etc, then have dinner with them more not less so you can spend more time correcting them. A NT child might need to be told one hundred times to not eat with their mouth open. A child with attention issues might need to be told ten thousand times. So tell them ten thousand times.

And some children no matter how much you tell them will never “get it” because they physically can’t.

Your view is rather like telling someone who is wheelchair bound over and over how to walk and expecting them get up and walk!

@scmethcat. I never said I was the perfect parent. Yes, I may well write a book. I'm seeing good results for my style of parenting, a style that worked well for most of human history.

@Sirzy. You assume I wouldn't be sympathetic or understanding just because I believe in old fashioned parenting rules? In fact, I also suffer from Social Anxiety and have done my whole life. I wish my parents had worked harder on me to help me out of the shell I was in, but they tended to just let me hide n my bedroom too much and complain about me being shy. Not helpful. My advice is based on real experiences and my advice for SA is to get out more and be more active. If I am out and about and active, my SA disappears. If I go through a phase of staying in more, it creeps back. I also find live yogurt seems to help....pickles are supposed to too. I read about this and I now eat live yogurt (with no added ingredients) every day. I think SA might be caused by a sluggish digestive system and the live yogurt helps to speed it up, as does being active. I think the general message I am trying to pass on is that if there is a problem, don't resign yourself to it as it will get worse. Work on it and it will improve.

Both my kids are extremely active. My da acts like he has ants in his pants. When we are on holiday we do all the fun stuff the op talks about but when we go out for a meal I think it’s unreasonable to ask him to sit quietly through three courses. We start with the colouring books etc but that can only hold their attention for so long. So the iPad comes out when they start getting restless. Really don’t see the problem. We don’t got out for dinner all the time. It’s not like it’s every day. They get plenty of stimulation and sometimes a bit of downtime is good for them.

I think SA might be caused by a sluggish digestive system

It just gets worse

*ds

Live yogurt and pickled...mhm...mhm... Noted.

I think I will take the sensible advice from his Camhs worker and OT rather than your “interesting” suggestion

If you think curing social anxiety is as simple as just go out then sorry you haven’t got it!

@PathologicalDemandAvoidance

I know exactly what PDA and how difficult it is to deal with, I have two children with autism, one of whom is extremely demand avoidant. It is you who doesn't really know what you're talking about if you truly believe that your child being to eat a varied diet and and sit quietly at a table is down to your input. It is not, it is down to the fact that your child despite her diagnosis is able to accept and process that input, many with that diagnosis could not. Your child is the one who manages this, not you. Personally I am surprised to read these claims from the parent of a child with additional needs, especially autism, as most are rather more aware that autism or PDA manifests differently in every child and what works for one will not work for the next, or the next, or the next...

Btw it wasn't me that used the puppy analogy.

@fissionchips. Clearly, there are exceptions and yours is one. But, generally, children who struggle with something as important as being able to control themselves at a table in public should be trained to do so and not handed a gadget to keep them controlled. I am proof it is possible even with a child who won't move her leg out of the way if a person walks past. It's not possible with all children and, as in your case, it's not appropriate, but the fact is, we're not hearing of or seeing the odd child who can't behave in public. This is a big problem that is being swept under the carpet by the handing over of gadgets.

@hineyishrunkthekid. I am a single parent of a SEN child with serious issues due to Pathological Demand Avoidance. She is absolutely not an 'easy child'. She is, in fact, an exhausting child who everyone else has given up on. I have jot given up on her, even to the extent of handing over a gadget. She has no gadget and never has had one. I parent her despite doing so being a battle. I am fighting every day with my time and attention and determination. My message is this....don't resign yourselves to behavioral issues but, instead, take them on and win.

The sheer volume of smuggery is overwhelming

My message is this....don't resign yourselves to behavioral issues but, instead, take them on and win

Are you trolling? Do you really believe parents don’t try to improve how their child copes and interacts with the world?