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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ban iPads & Tablets For Children

779 replies

londonmummyof1 · 06/06/2018 23:20

Is it just me, or does the iPad generation bother anyone else?

We went on a family holiday to Spain with my husband and almost 3 year old daughter, and at breakfast, lunch and dinner it’s the same sight - parents bringing out iPads for their preschool children to sit and watch - while eating!?! This is something I have never seen before and I absolutely do not agree with. I think seeing the scale of the problem during this one holiday shows what a problem this is. The thing is, the children aren’t even given the choice of asking for the iPad or to watch a show, it’s just slapped down in front of them and then they are glued. No interaction, just plugged into this simulated world, at the prime time in their life they are developing their language, speech, behaviour and personality - under the age of 5.

We did not bring an iPad for our child on holiday because we wanted to play in the swimming/splash pool, go to the beach etc and we spent such quality time with our child with memories we will keep forever.

This did not happen 20 or even 10 years ago - what did parents do with their children then? God forbid did they COMMUNICATE with their children at the dinner table?

What is happening to this world? Why not have a conversation with your child or bring a sticker book or story book for them to look at if feeding time is difficult. Every parent has been there with challenging mealtimes, but lugging the iPad around during 3 mealtimes, that’s a minimum of 3 hours your child is in a zombie state of mind, you’re starving them of developing their speech and ability to play by themselves and entertain themselves through play.

Do parents understand that too much screen time is extremely damaging to young children and can pave the way to obesity and development issues later in life?

I feel so passionate about this topic, as I’ve even seen some parents putting their children in pushchairs by the swimming pools glued to an iPad, when they could be swimming and having fun with their parents or siblings.

Parenting can be really tough, but somehow I think government intervention is required as this is such a vicious cycle, what future are we preparing our children for???

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:

Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Absolutely BAN iPads & Tablets for children.

OP posts:
Jimdandy · 09/06/2018 18:51

Mine have tablets. On holiday they have a siesta and it’s used to wind down then. We usually go out in the mornings and then have lunch. Then they have “quiet time” where they watch it, whilst I do some jobs. They get fed up after about an hour and then usually play with toys or ask for crayons etc.

They have their place. I can completely understand the temptation to bring the to dinner table when you just want a quiet relaxing meal, but it’s not something I ever want to start myself.

Lethaldrizzle · 09/06/2018 18:57

Birdsgottafly who's saying kids can't talk or make noise? That's not the argument here

CheeseyToast · 09/06/2018 21:01

Wouldn't it be an amazing thing if we could discuss this rationally...

wandaandthealien · 10/06/2018 09:11

I was one of these parents on holiday last week, I saw judgey looks from parents like yourself that looked over to see toddler staring at a screen whilst we ate.

But what you can't see is that my child has Cystic Fibrosis and weight gain is incredibly important, to the point we are now having to explore tube feeding. To try avoid this as long as possible he has a high fat diet and NEEDS to eat as much as possible. In a foreign country not in his own highchair or environment he gets very picky and subsequently loses weight, the ipad helps to distract him and he will then finish a dinner. I ignore the judgey looks because I know that it is best for my childs long term health.

You have no idea what is going on with any situation and given its not affecting you in the slightest bore off.

We still have plenty of quality time together on holiday and have the same "memories, splashing in the pool, going to the beach". Lots of parents find their children eat better or it enables the parents to be able to finish a meal.

Masterbuilders · 10/06/2018 09:29

Yanbu. Play doh and similar helps with fine motor skills. There is definitely a change in children nowadays. Many start school not being able to hold a pencil properly, poor fine motor skills, social interaction issues and can’t figure out that PC’s aren’t touch screen. It’s quite sad. Even in those ‘who hardly use a tablet’.

holdonasecond · 10/06/2018 09:32

Playdough at a restaurant Grin

I can't be the only one who thinks that is ridiculous alternative to a nice, clean mess free iPad.

Lj8893 · 10/06/2018 09:36

I haven’t read the full thread........

PLAYDOH?!? Have you seen how much mess that shit makes??? Why the fuck would anyone take that out somewhere public???

Masterbuilders · 10/06/2018 09:36

Or colouring take your pick. The examples people are giving help promote fine motor skills. No doubt about it nowadays, kids don’t have the basics like holding a pencil. It’s sad. Parents don’t even see the difference which is the big isssue. Colouring, drawing, etc. All promote fine motor skills.

My kids all have tablets and they have their place, just not as babysitters. Which is how they are used which is why so many children can’t write nowadays.

PS, coding can be an amazing salary if you’re in the correct part of IT.

helterskelter99 · 10/06/2018 09:39

On holiday in the heat last year my 4 year old really struggled. That and the 20 billion hours of swimming he was doing meant that yes at some point during the day I found him a quiet spot and he watched too much tv because otherwise he wanted to be in the pool and frankly he was knackered and needed some rest. He wasn’t interested in the sticker books and colouring books so I made a parenting decision !!

Lj8893 · 10/06/2018 09:40

Well my dd wouldnt ever wear an eye patch if it wasent for her iPad, it’s the only thing that distracts her and keeps her concentration for long enough to wear her patch (which dramatically reduces her vision). She’s plays with playdoh and colours etc etc but gets really frustrated with these when she has a patch on.

If she didn’t wear her patch ever her vision and squint would not improve.

PotOfMemories · 10/06/2018 09:41

Yes that's absolutely correct, there are no children these days who can hold pencils Hmm

RebelRogue · 10/06/2018 09:50

@Masterbuilders it's not ipad or all. It can be ipad and colouring and playdoh and painting and lego and the park and swimming and what not.
I have yet to meet a parent that all they do with their kids is ipad all day everyday.

wandaandthealien · 10/06/2018 11:28

Or colouring take your pick. The examples people are giving help promote fine motor skills. No doubt about it nowadays, kids don’t have the basics like holding a pencil. It’s sad. Parents don’t even see the difference which is the big isssue. Colouring, drawing, etc. All promote fine motor skills.

The OP is seeing children at a meal time on an iPad. This doesn't mean they are never colouring, drawing or doing many other things to develop other skills. As you say they have their place and in our families case if that is for 10 minutes to enable the child to finish a meal and us to have a holiday meal that I can finish without having to get child out the highchair and run around then so be it.

Neither of my toddlers would have sat colouring at a table at 2 or 3 for longer than 1 or 2 minutes anyway. They will happily colour/play doh/listen to stories etc. at other times but this wouldn't distract them in a busy restaurant when I would like them to eat.

Lethaldrizzle · 10/06/2018 11:35

My toddlers would sit colouring for longer than 2 minutes at that age. Maybe it's because I didn't give them the choice.

PotOfMemories · 10/06/2018 11:40

My sister's won't lethal, and she doesn't allow tablets or tech of any sort.

Mine has got an excellent attention span despite use of a tablet.

Sirzy · 10/06/2018 11:42

Ds has motor skill problems and muscle problems which mean things like drawing and writing can be really painful for him (he has a custom made Lycra glove for School to support it)

The cruelty of that is that he loves drawing, however can only do it for short periods and time and when he is up to it. I’m not going to force him to do something that could cause him pain when he can happily sit and explore maps or research facts on his iPad instead

GoatYoga · 10/06/2018 11:45

Lethaldrizzle - or maybe it was because your toddler was different from other toddlers. They aren’t all the clones of each other.

I spent many.a meal time with DS2 as a toddler in tears wondering why he wasn’t more like his brother. I wasn’t at the time aware of his SNs or how to deal with them. Do you know how fucking awful it is to wish your child had never been born - not just for a passing minute, but I felt like that for several years. We still don’t have a diagnosis and he’s now 11.

So please concentrate on you own ‘’more than 2 minute” colouring chlid and leave the rest of us alone.

Lethaldrizzle · 10/06/2018 11:47

yep as i've said before they are great for kids with special needs

Sirzy · 10/06/2018 11:48

But when you are sat judging you don’t know who has special needs do you? Or who has spent a day sat in hospital and is now grabbing some food? Or whatever else is going on in someone’s life.

GoatYoga · 10/06/2018 11:56

Lethaldrizzle - you would have no idea that my child had special needs to look at him. You could sit and judge in a restaurant for an hour and have no clue and that is point I am trying to make and that is the problem with many people on this thread.

Your “my toddler could do x, y and z because I gave them no choice” comments are not helpful to those of us that struggle day in, day out and whose children wouldn’t sit and colour for more than 2 minutes.

DS2 has issues that will cause him problems for the rest of his life and if I want to let him on an iPad in a restaurant (not whilst eating) then I will - he rarely looks at in the house - would much rather be doing something active.

ICantCopeAnymore · 10/06/2018 12:01

Lethal, you're on every thread about technology and children, arguing vehemently against it.

You've yet to show actual, decent research to prove it's a bad thing.

My extensive research shows that technology and gaming are beneficial for children in many ways, if policed correctly and balanced with other activities.

I'll await your research.

Lethaldrizzle · 10/06/2018 12:12

I dont like over use of technology for kids. That's not a crime. When it comes to my kids that's the way I choose to parent. I do not need scientific research to back up the way I choose to parent. I think im doing ok. They all seem fine, they know how to code and shit - they just don't take ipads everywhere they go and they don't have their own Screens anyway

PotOfMemories · 10/06/2018 12:14

That's fine lethal but in that case it's not on for you to hold other parents up to your own arbitrary standards.

ICantCopeAnymore · 10/06/2018 12:16

Your children, your choice. Leave other people's out of it. It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Lethaldrizzle · 10/06/2018 12:18

So you are asking me not to comment on a public forum Hmm