Ban iPads & Tablets For Children

[londonmummyof1]

Is it just me, or does the iPad generation bother anyone else?

We went on a family holiday to Spain with my husband and almost 3 year old daughter, and at breakfast, lunch and dinner it’s the same sight - parents bringing out iPads for their preschool children to sit and watch - while eating!?! This is something I have never seen before and I absolutely do not agree with. I think seeing the scale of the problem during this one holiday shows what a problem this is. The thing is, the children aren’t even given the choice of asking for the iPad or to watch a show, it’s just slapped down in front of them and then they are glued. No interaction, just plugged into this simulated world, at the prime time in their life they are developing their language, speech, behaviour and personality - under the age of 5.

We did not bring an iPad for our child on holiday because we wanted to play in the swimming/splash pool, go to the beach etc and we spent such quality time with our child with memories we will keep forever.

This did not happen 20 or even 10 years ago - what did parents do with their children then? God forbid did they COMMUNICATE with their children at the dinner table?

What is happening to this world? Why not have a conversation with your child or bring a sticker book or story book for them to look at if feeding time is difficult. Every parent has been there with challenging mealtimes, but lugging the iPad around during 3 mealtimes, that’s a minimum of 3 hours your child is in a zombie state of mind, you’re starving them of developing their speech and ability to play by themselves and entertain themselves through play.

Do parents understand that too much screen time is extremely damaging to young children and can pave the way to obesity and development issues later in life?

I feel so passionate about this topic, as I’ve even seen some parents putting their children in pushchairs by the swimming pools glued to an iPad, when they could be swimming and having fun with their parents or siblings.

Parenting can be really tough, but somehow I think government intervention is required as this is such a vicious cycle, what future are we preparing our children for???

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:

Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Absolutely BAN iPads & Tablets for children.

@londonmummyof1 congratulations!! Of all the smuggery I've witnessed on Mumsnet, your post absolutely wins the trophy for most smug.
I'd put money on my firstborn being older than you. I know I have shoes older than you.
Preaching to people about what an amazing parent you are to 'train' your daughter how to manage her feelings just makes you look naive, silly and totally conceited.
And you don't train children, that's for dogs.

I agree OP. No iPads at the table, in or out of the house. Conversation or pen and paper.

The problem is only in your head love

Tablets are more difficult to eat or poke people with.

Separate out bad parenting from the devices themselves. A tablet is not intrinsically evil. A lazy parent is going to parent lazily whether there's tech available or not. Banning tech because you don't like it is idiotic.

And making a free speech argument? Christ on a bike. I think you'll find you're perfectly able to speak about it without the government putting you in jail. You're speaking (well, typing on an electronic device, the horrors!) about it right now. Some other people just disagree with you.

If you want to 'do something' about it, you're perfectly free to go right ahead.

Here's a more constructive idea. Lets change societal norms so that children are expected to behave as children, not monks, in public spaces. This would remove a massive amount of pressure on parents to keep them quiet. Then there wouldnt be the same need to keep them quiet.

Btw none of your suggested alternatives would have been enough for my asd ds.

@zeeboo great comment 👍

You have 30 year old shoes? Lovely. Not that age has absolutely anything to do with opinions.

@londonmummyof1 your age doesn't mean anything in the context of your post, but your lack of parenting experience does. To tell mothers who have 2,3,4,8 children, children with disabilities or behavioural problems and parents with adult children and grandchildren that they should take playdoh out to a restaurant is so laughable. You are making a fool out of yourself and the point about use of tablets is being lost.

@londonmummyof1

Why aren't you able to accept that there is nothing wrong with tech in and of itself, what is wrong is when it is overused/abused.

Much like anything really.

I've said a couple of times it would have been an interesting discussion had you been able to phrase your posts in a way that wasn't designed to be goady fuckery

On the opposite side of things, I was away during half term, in Spain in a similar sounding restaurant. Mix of English and German guests on the whole.

In the restaurant most nights I probably saw no more than 5 ipads being used. I would say there were probably 200+ guests.

My two had ipads with them on the holiday, main use was for the plane, playing games and watching programmes, think they had them 2/3 times during the holiday to watch a tv show whilst me and husband got ready to go out in the evening so maybe 15-20 mins. Never taken to the restaurant, although we did consider it so we could have a bit more of a relaxed meal.

On the plane they had them for about half the time having done stickers, looked out the window, argued over seatbelt, had a chat etc. They haven't touched them since getting back a week ago except to facetime my Dad.

AYBU to think you shouldn't use tablets to parent your child/ren? YANBU

AYBU to think tablets should be blanket-banned because some people overuse them? YABU

Sound about right?

When I was on holiday with my children recently, we took iPads with us wherever we went. They both have autism. One loud American decided to let the long queue we were in know that he believed my children's brains would be mush before long "stuck on those things all day long". I told him my children had autism amongst other additional needs and that he really ought to mind his own business and stop forcing people like myself to have to explain private medical issues to judgmental strangers. Then I turned my back and ignored him but I felt awful, utterly humiliated. A family in front of me were very kind and supportive and when I managed to look round others in the queue looked disgusted too, at him. Maybe you could do with a bit of public shaming OP?

@londonmummyof1 you do know that young kids played video game consoles in the 1980's? A tablet is just a computer, and kids have been using those for decades.

You sound more and more like a Luddite.

Whats bothering me is the OP's (and others) persistent refusal to acknowledge they're a useful tool for children with disabilities.

Without his tablet, I would never get DS out in public, it allows him to be in a social environment to observe, to learn...etc but also acts as an escape should he become overloaded, it helps distract from meltdowns, keeps him happy and calm...etc

But of course.. we ought to ban them, and then all my son would do in public is scream, shout, swear, run around, physically assault me and other people and be seen as a nuisance.. so we wouldn't bother coming out at all, ever.

I think that almost everyone accepts that they are a useful tool for some DC with disabilities. The people I know who use them routinely do not have DC with disabilities, given the number I see in use compared to the disability stats in the UK I would suspect that they are routinely used by many people who do not have DC with disabilities.

What a miserable life to look at other people in restaurants and think I wouldn't parent that way therefore no one should

It's all balance surely. Sometimes a parent just needs a break. But I do agree kids shouldn't just be chucked in front of them without even needing one as such (talking about the restaurant situation - try to socialise first).

Technology is the future and they won't go away so they do have a place. I know doctors who are very concerned about the long term issues with tablet use though. It ranges from eyesight to rsi to muscular/skeletal issues, before mentioning the social implications.

Technology is the future
THAT is what worries me.

Completely agree with you.

I thought the same when we went to a hotel in Spain.

Hmm, my parents were pretty hot in getting me domestic life skills instead of using technology, and growing up that has given me lots of excellent opportunities to do shitwork for people who can code. My child now does STEM apps on the IPad whenever possible.

I can promise you that coding is a pretty desperate way to earn a living. Yes it was well paid years ago but stuck in a smelly room with a bunch of blokes on a pc all day and night was no fun!! Also I heard more enlightened attitudes about women from the local building site!! Hopefully it's changed a lot in the last 15 years - probably to the point of not needing humans to do it at all.

Never understand the reverence coding as a career gets on here!

@Gretol

Hopefully it's changed a lot in the last 15 years

Absolutely

probably to the point of not needing humans to do it at all

Nowhere near

Good glad to hear it. I'm from the olden days so can't think of it without shuddering

Gretol

Redexpat - i dont think society needs to change its attitude towards kids behaviour in public at all. Kids should behave well in restaurants etc but you don't need ipads to control kids behaviour (unless your kids have special needs) - there are other ways to do it