Ban iPads & Tablets For Children

[londonmummyof1]

Is it just me, or does the iPad generation bother anyone else?

We went on a family holiday to Spain with my husband and almost 3 year old daughter, and at breakfast, lunch and dinner it’s the same sight - parents bringing out iPads for their preschool children to sit and watch - while eating!?! This is something I have never seen before and I absolutely do not agree with. I think seeing the scale of the problem during this one holiday shows what a problem this is. The thing is, the children aren’t even given the choice of asking for the iPad or to watch a show, it’s just slapped down in front of them and then they are glued. No interaction, just plugged into this simulated world, at the prime time in their life they are developing their language, speech, behaviour and personality - under the age of 5.

We did not bring an iPad for our child on holiday because we wanted to play in the swimming/splash pool, go to the beach etc and we spent such quality time with our child with memories we will keep forever.

This did not happen 20 or even 10 years ago - what did parents do with their children then? God forbid did they COMMUNICATE with their children at the dinner table?

What is happening to this world? Why not have a conversation with your child or bring a sticker book or story book for them to look at if feeding time is difficult. Every parent has been there with challenging mealtimes, but lugging the iPad around during 3 mealtimes, that’s a minimum of 3 hours your child is in a zombie state of mind, you’re starving them of developing their speech and ability to play by themselves and entertain themselves through play.

Do parents understand that too much screen time is extremely damaging to young children and can pave the way to obesity and development issues later in life?

I feel so passionate about this topic, as I’ve even seen some parents putting their children in pushchairs by the swimming pools glued to an iPad, when they could be swimming and having fun with their parents or siblings.

Parenting can be really tough, but somehow I think government intervention is required as this is such a vicious cycle, what future are we preparing our children for???

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:

Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Absolutely BAN iPads & Tablets for children.

"Nothing wrong with tech - just a shame screens are overused to keep kids quiet - thats what this thread is about"

The thread is about banning them. The OP could have started a more meaningful discussion about overuse but she chose to start a goady one about how wonderful a parent she is because she doesn't allow them.

Good for you op!

However we don’t mind eating our breakfast lunch and dinner in peace whilst on holiday. I get the chance to drink waaaay more wine when D.C. are watching frozen or playing games

Sprinkle

Tech affects literacy? It definitely has a hugely negative impact on reading rates.

https://www.educationnews.org/technology/us-children-reading-less-internet-smartphones-main-causes/

You just have to go into the book threads here to see how many of us used to be voracious readers and are now sucked into Mumsnet threads, myself included.

You just have to go into the book threads here to see how many of us used to be voracious readers and are now sucked into Mumsnet threads, myself included

Isn’t that a case of overuse again, rather than the tech itself?

I don’t think anyone is questioning whether overuse of tech is a bad thing. But many, many families have a great balance of tech use and other activities. It could have been an interesting discussion but I suspect the OP wanted to brag about her superior parenting.

Interestingly, my teenage dd thinks reading a book at the table is ruder than being on your phone. I have no comment on this other than I thought it was interesting that she thought that.

society is far less tolerant of children in places like restaurants and parents will take any means they can to keep theirs quiet! I don't think we are less tolerant of children in restaurants, I think children are ill-equipped to behave as well as they used to. Seems that few children are used to sitting at the table at home for breakfast, dinner etc.

Interestingly, my teenage dd thinks reading a book at the table is ruder than being on your phone. I have no comment on this other than I thought it was interesting that she thought that

That's really interesting actually and something I hadn't thought about.

I think - just quickly considering - that I would be far more engrossed in a book than transient scrolling but I do neither at the table! (However when DD is with her dad I totally eat on the sofa with a big pile of books next to me )

I agree with the teenage dd. How is the father reading a newspaper at breakfast (as depicted in many a 1950s scene), any different from reading the news on your phone?

society is far less tolerant of children in places like restaurants and parents will take any means they can to keep theirs quiet! I don't think we are less tolerant of children in restaurants, I think children are ill-equipped to behave as well as they used to. Seems that few children are used to sitting at the table at home for breakfast, dinner etc.

So true! And sitting with the knees up or and slouching... disrepectful for restaurant owners, chef and waiting staff I believe but again i dont care how parents choose to raise my children but yes i find it sad.

londonmummyof1

I care about that for my own child and as a parent that’s my absolute right.

Yes it is. Worrying about other peoples is a waste of your time and energy though. Your kid will have issues of it's own in time helicopter parent and you should focus on those.

Should say “choose to raise their children”

If you rely on them to get your kids through the end of a meal when they’re getting grumpy, I can kind of understand it, but surely you’re setting them up to start acting up next time and then you get into a vicious circle of them acting up to get screen time and screen time being the only thing which keeps them calm.

I think so much of this relates to the UK’s intolerance of kids in restaurants. I’ve raised 3 kids in the Middle East and children are welcomed in restaurants here. We have never had to use tech to get them through a meal and they know how to behave in a restaurant setting. Yes they can be absolute buggers, but if you don’t give them the opportunity to be buggers so that you can give them a telling off, how will they ever learn not to be buggers in a restaurant?

There definitely are kids for whom the iPad is pulled out at every single cafe and restaurant - I know some. How will these kids cope when they have to sit still in an unstimulating/boring (for them) Environment one day without their digital crutch?

And I don’t buy this keeping up with technology argument. The technology these days is so easy to pick up anyway. Our school tried to bring in iPads at primary level and there was an uproar so they reneged on the idea.

OP wasn't suggesting about using them less. She wants to ban them and shove in our faces what an amazing parent she is as she can get her child to sit amazingly at a restaurant.

I think reading a newspaper on your phone is fine (I don't do it at the table though) and a book on your phone, great.

People don't do that very often though do they? Kids are usually on social media or youtube.

yes, tech these days is so easy there is no need to 'learn' it.

It took my 85 year old FIL about 3 minutes to start using his ipad!

my children sit at the table for every single meal.

DS was actually quite well behaved in restaurants when he was 2, we could keep him occupied with his toys, or a book, or just with our attention and conversation.

The issue back then used to be that we were feeding him 'junk food' bought from home because of his Restricted Eating and very few restaurants catering for his acceptable diet.

Then he hit 2.5/3 and his frustration at being unable to speak (verbal dyspraxia) went off with sensory overload at the noise in the room, and H and I then had to learn to 'tag team' where one of us ate (very quickly, usually me actually) while the other occupied DS, and then we swapped so the other could eat.

Having the tablet and his ear defenders now he's 11 occupies him enough that he will sit, eat his own food, talk to us about what he's doing, and let us eat our meals hot while having a conversation with him and between ourselves.

It keeps him calm on car journeys, in waiting rooms and many other places where OTHER PEOPLE are simply too much for him to cope with.

I couldn't give a pigs fucking fart what your judgy opinion is.

When you've spent 11 years raising a child with ASD/ADHD/Dyspraxia, Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety and Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, by all means, tell me what a shit parent I am for letting him use his tablet at the table.

Trust me, his mental health and wellbeing are a damn sight more important to me than some strangers uninformed opinion.

Thinking about this a bit more in our family none of us are allowed to look at screens or read paper items at the dinner table. The only exceptions I can think of are on holiday where we sometimes look through the day's photos on our phones, or use the phone to plan the next days activities. I could probably read through every meal left to my own devices but studies show that family meal times are really important and if you don't start the communication habit young I would worry it would be harder to do later on. That said if others want their dc to watch peppa pig as long as they have head phones they have every right to crack on.

I've come to this really late so I'm going to go back and read the whole thread but my kids do use Ipads (particularly on the plane and very long car journeys, though I try to use music/story CDs instead).

Of course they shouldn't be banned though. But I agree that moderation is a good idea, the same with anything really.

On our last holiday I too noticed it a lot at dinner on holidays. My husband did say to me 'are we missing a trick here' because those parents were enjoying a much more lengthy and relaxed dinner!

I'm a fairly lax parent I would say but no tablets at the dinner table is a no-no for me. My reasoning is that we like to eat out a lot and I want them to be happy to do that, sit and talk with us over dinner. We have been for meals when friend's kids get out the tablets and they are all drawn to them like moths to flames!

I think Ipads are great but I do try to limit them. Mainly because I find when you take it away my kids go wild and I don't like how engrossing they are. It's totally different to watching a tv in how engaged they get I find.

We are all still learning with these new technologies. I don't judge someone for wanting to have their dinner and a cocktail in peace - they are on hols after all!!

Sorry my post makes no sense - I mean tablets at the dinner table are a no no for me!

A ban is a ridiculous idea. Technology is a part of our lives and children will have to grow up using it with a familiarity that is probably not yet apparent to us. They will also need to learn how to use it appropriately, and learning when and how to use it and when to put it away is as much of a skill as is learning to use a knife and fork or learning to write.

You also have to parent the child in the most appropriate way to them.

I let my 22 month use technology far more often than I thought I would. I fondly imagined he would do nothing other than the lovely activities mentioned in the OP. And if I was strict then I could enforce this. What I didn't envisage was having a very active toddler who seems to be permanently stuck on 'full speed ahead'! It's not that he can't concentrate on a task as he will happily play at the same activity for an hour or more, but he is continually on the move, getting up and down to rearrange his toys and add new ones. He won't sit and play quietly even if he is obviously tired. The only way he will sit and chill for a bit is to watch something on a screen. So yes, if he needs to sit and be quiet for a while and I'm not able at that point in time to read to him, he gets screen time for up to an hour. And heaven help me, if he wakes at 5am after waking multiple times in the night he gets a screen to watch until 6.30 so I don't lose my mind with tiredness.

Yes, I do worry about all those studies saying how awful it is for young minds to watch screens, but it doesn't seem to be inhibiting his development. On the contrary, he has learned a lot from his favourite YouTube videos and can name every construction vehicle and emergency vehicle, as well as identifying and naming several of the specific parts! He also will recreate scenes from one of the videos when he is playing with his toys so it doesn't seem to be having a negative impact on his imaginative play.

Ironically, the OP wouldn't be able to judge the amount of screen time he gets as when we are out and about he is so interested in whatever is going on that he is far happier to sit and watch.

I'm firmly of the view that absent abusive and neglectful parenting, most children will end up fine, and there is more than one way to be a good or bad parent. We can only do our best by our DC and raise them to recognise that there is no one 'right' way to do things so judging others is not a productive or pleasant trait.

You can't judge from seeing one scenario, without seeing the rest of their life. If you saw me take my kids to swimming lessons on a sat morning you'd probably be appalled - I hand the two year old my phone to watch Bing while the eldest has his lesson, to reduce the impact of a rampaging toddler on everyone around me and enable me to actually get a glimpse of what my eldest is doing. What you don't see is he has very little other screen time than that all day.

Equally in a cafe, you might see me talk to my kids for a bit and then put my phone on for them. Maybe I've been playing with them all day and I just want five minutes to drink my tea in peace, maybe I know I will be a better Mum in 10 mins time if I can just have a break from the incessant shouts of "mummy", maybe this is a treat for them for behaving wonderfully while coming round the shops with me, maybe I feel shit and it's one of those days where I am just. trying. to. get. to. bedtime - you don't know, you don't know what else we have done that day and what we are off to do, and you don't know how I am coping that day.

I highly doubt a ban would ever come into place. But I have to say I agree with you! Such a shame when such young children are plonked in front of iPads at brilliant opportunities to communicate. Its very lazy parenting. My DC do watch some tv at home but not much. I personally wouldn't ever use screens at the table or out and about, it's terrible for children's speech.