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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to wonder why they are always on holiday?

80 replies

MrsMuddlePluck · 06/06/2018 21:17

Someone I know seems to be on holiday all the time - must be 5/6 times this year. They are seeing a psychiatrist / physiotherapist for all sorts of issues and can't work but is very fit and constantly abroad on holiday - some very activity based.

With all these issues that they have, why is it OK for them to be on holiday all the time? They don't work.

I don't want to be unsympathetic, but is there something I'm missing here?

OP posts:
bevelino · 06/06/2018 22:51

I don’t get the point of this thread OP.

ByeMF · 06/06/2018 22:55

Absolutely non of your business. You need a hobby!!

PieAndPumpkins · 06/06/2018 22:58

@TheOriginalEmu I maintain, if i'm paying for your holidays (whilst scrimping or saving, working my arse off, missing time with MY family whilst I work and missing out on 5 holidays a year BTW), then it's absolutely my business. Benefits should pay for food, housing and BASICS. Not holidays.

Birdsgottafly · 06/06/2018 23:09

PieAndPumpkins, the person may be on Disability Benefits, as said and they shouldn't just pay for the basics.

That aside, people are awarded a set amount of benefits and just like wages they get to spend them on what they decide to.

OP, it's very fucked up to be jealous of someone who needs to see a psychiatrist and physiotherapist.

You could always disable yourself, as could anyone, if they think life is so much better living that way.

I, like another poster, manage to have breaks/holidays whilst living on benefits, because i'm really careful with my money. Plus you can take the unpopular flights and out of term time deals. I'm not well enough to go out of a night. I go out during the day, 3/4 times a week. I haven't really got a proper life, as such. It looks great from the outside though. I'd swap with anyone because I actually enjoyed my working life (in social care).

You might want to be where she is, on occasion, but I'd bet that you wouldn't want to live inside her head.

Oakmaiden · 06/06/2018 23:26

My best friend is too ill to work, but goes on lots of breaks away. The warmer weather helps her to feel better, she can afford it as she took medical retirement and she says she might as well spend her money on holidays as she doesn't know how long she will be alive/able to enjoy going away in the future.

Her future looks frighteningly grim. I can't blame her for wanting top make the most of things while she is able.

AcrossthePond55 · 06/06/2018 23:51

No peppery, I earned the money myself. I retired early on a good pension and investments. But what does that have to do with it? And what does receiving benefits have to do with it either? (And no I don't get 'benefits' of any kind, I'm in the US)

If the law says that XX person is entitled to YY benefits and that person is able to pay for holidays on that amount, what's wrong with that? That person isn't taking the money out of your pocket, the government is. And if you don't like it, then get politically active and try to change things. If the OP believes the person is committing fraud, then she should turn the person in to the relevant agency, not bitch about her on a chat board.

Chelseajunior · 06/06/2018 23:52

Mind your own! Jealousy springs to mind Hmm

beluga425 · 06/06/2018 23:55

Definitely call 101.

TuTru · 06/06/2018 23:58

Drug trafficking

beluga425 · 07/06/2018 00:03

Drug trafficking
no, my money's on "international jewel thief."

Dancingtothebeat · 07/06/2018 00:09

Maybe the warmth is good for their health? Maybe they are independently wealthy? Maybe the activity is good for their health? Maybe a mental health condition?

Maybe the 'poor health' thing is just a cover and they are actually a high class hooker being flown across the world to different jobs?

Maybe they won the lottery?

The only thing I know for absolutely certain is the chances that she is on benefits with a fabricated illness these days is about as likely as you treading in a pile of rocking horse shit tomorrow.

Lalliella · 07/06/2018 00:42

I don’t work. I go on a lot of holidays. I spend my money, that I earned myself, on things I want to spend it on. This is no-one else’s business. I don’t care if anyone else thinks this is ok or not, the opinion of such a person would not matter to me one jot.

Rollonweekend · 07/06/2018 01:50

its so funny on Mumsnet that when you question peoples spending on things like holidays you're bombarded with responses like like 'mind your own business.. what do you know?'

Actually I think the OP asked a reasonable question.

Does the answer always need to be - 'those people you speak of have a disability?'

thebewilderness · 07/06/2018 02:27

They may be either homeless or staying with family and calling it on holiday to spare themselves the embarrassment.

flumpybear · 07/06/2018 03:32

One of them is either in MI6 or is a hitman

Simple Wink

TheOriginalEmu · 07/06/2018 03:46

@TheOriginalEmu I maintain, if i'm paying for your holidays (whilst scrimping or saving, working my arse off, missing time with MY family whilst I work and missing out on 5 holidays a year BTW), then it's absolutely my business. Benefits should pay for food, housing and BASICS. Not holidays

Well, I miss out on being able to walk/get out of bed/live my life without pain, being able to see out of eye, being able to hear out of one ear, have a decent nights sleep, being able to take my children anywhere much, work in the career i loved and was good at, see anyone other my carer and my children, remember things, and enjoy much in the way of a life. so, y'know, swings and roundabouts. Hmm
I don't have debts, I don't do anything that costs money so if i have money left over its because i am very careful, the only thing i spend my money on is these holidays which are very carefully planned and which i will still spend part of flat on my back not moving.
so, in the nicest possible way, ram your judgement.

Coyoacan · 07/06/2018 04:08

PieAndPumpkins God you are a sad so-and-so. Benefits should only be for basics and you get to decide what the basics are? Now you've got your knickers in a twist about people you don't know going on holiday.

fawkesAgain2 · 07/06/2018 04:22

I'd guess that half the threads on AIBU include some level of nosiness but people seem really defensive about this topic.

Really touchy about 'too sick to work but fine on holiday'. Hmmm.

NorthEndGal · 07/06/2018 05:37

I can understand it. I might looks bit like that to some. I am unable work because I have sarcoidosis , and some days I can hardly move. Other days I appear fine.

After spending as much time as I have in bed rest, in hospital or in doctors offices, if I have a day unwell enough to be out, dang right I'm going hiking or hitting the beach or going berry picking or whatever.

People see me out and about on my good days, and I'm sure they wonder how I'm well enough to play one day but can't work the next.

I am not any any form of any kind of benefit, dh has a good job, but I'm sure it doesn't stop some people judging.

NorthEndGal · 07/06/2018 05:38
  • well enough to go out
feathermucker · 07/06/2018 05:39

None of your business. Why do you care or why does it bother you?

Eminybob · 07/06/2018 05:43

Well obviously they can go an loads of holidays because they don’t work. Don’t have to worry about annual leave etc.

I would go on holiday all the time too if I didn’t work. If I could afford it. I love holidays.

Feodora · 07/06/2018 19:00

@PieandPumpkins, so you believe if someone is chronically sick and unable to hold down a job should not get enough money to afford a cheap holiday now and again?

TigerTown · 07/06/2018 19:52

Do they have kids?

People’s life is rarely as it seems on the outside op... if someone is seeing several types of medical professionals, I can guarantee you that things are not all rosy behind closed doors

TheOriginalEmu · 07/06/2018 20:39

@fawkesagain ........i can only speak for myself, but the reason i'm defensive is because when you spend your life hearing about how I live off 'other peoples money' (never mind the tax and NI i paid myself over the last 20 years) and how people like me are lazy and yadda yadda, you get defensive.
I'm not 'fine' on holiday, by the way, there is a decent chance I will spend some of my holiday flat on my back unable to move, twice i've taken holidays where i've seen nothing but the inside of an appartment as i was too unwell to leave it. but if i can't even try to do something enjoyable, and should just stay at home in pain, alone, well, i might as well be dead. I LOVED my job. I was GOOD at my job. I miss it every single day, finding a way to enjoy life as it is was no small thing, and i resent being told how i should do that.