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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Quick responses pls -WIBU to express in my train seat?

98 replies

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 06/06/2018 09:01

Express breast milk I mean. I'm en route to London, v crowded train. The loo has shit on the seat. Vestibules all crowded.

I'd obviously express under a coat so no one would see anything but it's noisy (the Medela Swing).

My first meeting is at 10 so no time to express till 2pm.

WIBU to do this? Too weird?

OP posts:

PeaceRiot · 06/06/2018 10:40

YANBU, it’s not something I’d be delighted about doing but it sounds like your only option and it’s not wrong or offensive in any way.

aaronburr · 06/06/2018 10:50

What is wrong with You people that you think that's Ok?

What is wrong with you that you don't think it's ok?

And please don't compare expressing to having a poo.

DiddimusStench · 06/06/2018 10:58

Whatshallidonowpeople A serious question for you, are you stupid?

OP I bet nobody would even notice!

mirime · 06/06/2018 11:05

I'd say it's fine.

Never expressed on a train but did in the car once (DH was driving before anyone says anything) and was worried about people seeing, but just popped my coat over and it was fine.

Eliza9917 · 06/06/2018 11:12

Whatshallidonowpeople Wed 06-Jun-18 10:24:43
I'm all for breastfeeding but expressing on public, on a train?? What is wrong with You people that you think that's Ok? Do it at home or leave enough time to Do it at work. What next? The loos are dirty so you just have a poo on the train table?

Would you say that if she was breastfeeding an actual baby?

What's the difference?

Butterflykissess · 06/06/2018 11:15

Personally I bf and have done with all 4 kids . I bf anywhere but wouldn't dream of expressing in public sorry. And would definitely be surprised if I saw someone else doing it.

Earthwindnfiya · 06/06/2018 12:13

What next? The loos are dirty so you just have a poo on the train table?
Sorry what?!

I would just do it OP. I have no idea why people are so funny about women's breasts being out in public when it comes to expressing/breastfeeding. The whole reason breasts exist is for that purpose, there is nothing vulgar about it at all and it's certainly not comparable to taking a poo. Jesus

NoodleKT · 06/06/2018 12:27

I agree with most of the pp, if you're comfortable doing it then go for it!
You're doing it under a coat so I don't see how anyone can be offended :)

@Whatshallidonowpeople did you really just compare breastfeeding and expressing to pooing? Good god there are some idiots about.

LaurieMarlow · 06/06/2018 12:29

I'd do it. Your alternatives aren't great. It's such a shame that our society does so little to facilitate bf mums.

You have my sympathy. I hated pumping with a passion.

RafflesMaidenSister · 06/06/2018 13:14

Breastfeeding is fine but expressing isn't? Fuck that! They're both feeding a baby.

Just leave more time at work? - yes that's great if you can - I ended up doing it regularly because I was unable to leave more time at work: not everyone has so accommodating a job (and expressing in a train carriage is no one's idea of fun - you wouldn't do it if avoidable). It also really helps to maintain flow if you express at normal feeding times. Given I was constantly shooting up and down on commuter trains it was actually quite important so I could keep breastfeeding at all. More important than someone else's mild discomfort at having to witness the horror (oh the horror - I'm expecting my trial at the Hague to start any day now ).

Also, it is nothing like taking a shit on a table so you can fuck right off with that as well.

FWIW, I used to wear an expressing "bra". I'd put that on and my "cones of shame" on in the toilets and put a loose top over that, then all I had to do was attach the machine and bottles at my seat under the top. No one was at risk of seeing a nipple (heaven forfend). I wouldn't do it in the quiet carriage - because of the noise - but I in no way think that this was unacceptable or different to breastfeeding on a train. I did apologise for the noise and explained it wouldn't go on that long. No one I apologised to was ever anything less than completely understanding and lovely.

I was never aware of so much as a disapproving look. Most people didn't notice. Why can't you live and let live? Breastfeeding was really hard for me - like a PP I bloody hated expressing and I did it for my baby - thankfully everyone I encountered when I had to feed or express in public was lovely and supportive (or didn't notice). I'd probably have given up otherwise.

Some really ignorant, unpleasant, small-minded wallies on this thread.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 06/06/2018 13:20

No definitely wouldn't do this. It's not socially acceptable.
Breastfeeding is different. You're feeding a baby that needs feeding. Expressing is for your own convenience and is not as urgent.

RafflesMaidenSister · 06/06/2018 13:28

OK, Chocolatecoffeeaddict, you seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of the purpose and mechanics of expressing, but don't let that stop you plastering your ill-informed opinions over the internet.

JacquesHammer · 06/06/2018 13:31

I'm all for breastfeeding but expressing on public, on a train?? What is wrong with You people that you think that's Ok?

What is wrong with you that you don't?!

Do it at home or leave enough time to Do it at work

OP clearly explained there wasn't time.

What next? The loos are dirty so you just have a poo on the train table?

Yes because breast milk and excrement are directly comparable.

It is far more reasonable to do it at your table than take up a loo for 15 minutes.

SleepingStandingUp · 06/06/2018 13:38

Expressing is for your own convenience and is not as urgent
Yeah OP, just leak everywhere and be in agony, I mean god forbid I should hear the whirl of a machine and a flash of bosom.

SendYouUpinFlames · 06/06/2018 13:54

@whatshall ahhh get fucked. You obviously have never had extremely full, painfull leaking boobies.

Express wherever the hell you like op.
It no one else's business. Train toilets are usually absloutley grim. And stink to high heaven.

midgetgem2211 · 06/06/2018 13:54

I solely expressed for two years - have expressed in some very strange places and nobody batted an eyelid. Go for it!

cadburyegg · 06/06/2018 13:59

Expressing is for your own convenience

Yes, the OP expresses milk from her breasts just for convenience. It doesn’t get used to feed her baby or anything. What an ignorant remark.

DiddimusStench · 06/06/2018 14:15

Expressing is for your own convenience and is not as urgent.

‘Convenience*. That made me chuckle.

BlueSapp · 06/06/2018 14:30

Expressing can most certainly be urgent

Bambamber · 06/06/2018 14:40

Can't believe someone has compared expressing milk (baby food) to taking a shit

Why the hell should a woman have to express in the loo? Do you prepare your lunch in a train toilet? I'm guessing not.

Oh and not expressing when you're engorged can lead to mastitis, so not just convenience.

People really need to change their attitudes. Or if you find things like this so offensive why don't you piss off and sit in the shitty toilets so you don't have to see it

user1484167681 · 06/06/2018 14:40

Props to you, OP! I always had to settle at a table, everything carefully balanced, practically stripped to the waist, doing my best human-cow impression, to express! 😁 Amazed you can do it on a train and so discreetly! Go for it, I think it’s fine.

LaurieMarlow · 06/06/2018 14:48

Expressing is for your own convenience and is not as urgent

So engorgement and mastitis are non issues then and the OP should just put up and shut up?

Society clearly gives zero fucks about women's health issues. It's horrendous.

Original poster

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered · 06/06/2018 20:57

Yikes! Ok, on my way home now. It was fine, the chap next to me didn't bat an eyelid but gave me a supportive smile when we arrived at St Pancras. I don't think anyone else heard/noticed.

It certainly was not just for my own convenience - I blood wish! DS is 10 months old, DH is off with him on shared parental leave. We found out he has gastro issues so formula isn't an option although that's what we'd planned. Pumping at work is a massive pain in the proverbial but better than a poorly baby.

I know it would've been better to pump once in London but I'm a civil servant - I need to make the most of time in London because the train tickets are so expensive - when I'm here I book 8 hours of back-to-back meetings. I can do telephone meetings whilst pumping but today's were all face to face unfortunately.

Anyway, it's a lesson learned for the future - it offends some people so I'll walk up the train further to find a cleaner loo (reason I didn't today was crowded aisles).

OP posts:

ScreamingValenta · 06/06/2018 20:59

I can't see why this should offend anyone.

NameChange30 · 06/06/2018 21:00

Oh goodness no please don’t express in the toilet just because doing it in your seat would offend people Frankly their views are offensive and ridiculous. For your sake I don’t think you should express in the loo but also if you are concerned about what other people will think, surely it’s a bigger inconvenience if they can’t use the loo!

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