I had DS five weeks ago. He's a bit of a cranky baby and I haven't found it easy, I'm a first time mum in my forties. DP has never been around babies, also in his forties, and is still pretty awkward with baby although he always changes him when he is home. Because of issues shortly after DS was born he is formula fed and I am pumping breast milk to supplement. I'm trying to pump 8-9 times a day. I do all the feedings.
DP is from a different country and he had been looking forward to a class reunion for years. It will be one week, scheduled for the first week of July. While I was pregnant, I told him I didn't mind if he went. He also has some family commitments to take care of so I figured maybe a 2 week trip, which would have been a stretch but in my ignorance I thought I could cope. He booked a five week trip. He didn't see the point in going that far for two weeks. I told him at the time it was too long, that he would miss out on bonding time and that baby won't even know who he is when he gets back. It never occurred to me that I might not be able to cope. Well DS was born and now I am looking at those five weeks and I'm wondering how I will do it. I'm also feeling trapped and very resentful. If I go out to the shop for an hour I inevitably get a call asking me to come back, but he is swanning off for a five week holiday with his buddies. It's had a negative impact on our relationship because I'm resentful, hormonal, tired and tbh, not that nice. The trip is going to happen and I'm afraid our relationship will not withstand it.