To let dd1 do ballet?

[arethereanyleftatall]

Dd1,9, has excelled at everything so far; academics, social, extra curricular, everything.
Dd2, 7, has no where near the same confidence level.
The both do lots of extra curricular stuff, dd2 has, presumably deliberately, chosen activities which her big sister doesn't do, and which aren't competitive.
Fine so far.
Except now dd1 wants to go back to ballet. Ballet is dd2s favourite thing in the world, she is not great at it, but thinks she is, so great.
Dd1 is very good at ballet; of all the things she's good at, this was probably her best, but she left for a different sport two years ago.
I know dd2 will be distraught if dd1 goes back to ballet, this is her chance to not be in the shadow of her sister in her mind.
But I'm thinking it's not fair to hold dd1 back from it, as this is not her fault, and let her do it, but continue to do whatever else I can to help dd2s confidence.
Aibu?

She is being allowed to go back in her same age group, same class she left. Her teacher was genuinely devastated when she left, I got a huge long letter about how talented she was, which I initially thought was marketing and later learnt wasn't.

I think her being genuinely very talented is all the more reason to let her do it.

Honestly - your DD2's issues don't stop at DD1. She's going to have them every time she is outshone if you just try and avoid it (impossible) by limiting her older sister.

And if you start off this pattern of behaviour and continue it, I bet resentment will build up in DD1.

Thank you so so much everyone.

I sold it to the girls using lots of the ideas here.

They're both happy and dd2 is currently teaching dd1 the basics, and dd1 is listening humbly!

If she insists of ballet, different classes 100%!! But why not encourage dd1 to go into a different type of dance? Ballroom? Latin? Street? Contemporary? Tap? Modern? There's so many.

I agree that you shouldn't overthink things. Let her do it if she wants to. Ideally in a different school.

And do your best to play down the competitive element. Most kids should be doing ballet for the enjoyment, not in the hope of being prima ballerinas. Only a teeny tiny number will make a career of it, so it's sensible not to approach it too competitively.

Doing things you love, simply because you love them, without needing to be 'the best', is very good for the soul.

Good result, thanks for the update!

Our dance school has kids only learning styles that are not ballet.

I was dd2 please don't let her big sister do ballet, oh she is better than me at that as well, shrugs and never moves again.

Superb update, well done OP and OP's DDs!

one of life's lessons is learning to cope with other people being better at some things. And knowing that it doesn't matter.

it would not be fair to stop one child doing something she loves simply because the other one lacks confidence. That's lowest common denominator and isn't how it should be.

Meg she can’t live it that much she gave it up two years ago.

Give your dd2 time to shine.

Sounds great, OP.

I think this is as much about your daughters' relationship as anything else. If you regard it as a lovely shared interest to nurture and get excited about rather than a competition then they are likely to take their cue from you.