To want to kick MIL a bit

[jamoncrumpets]

Not hard, but maybe in the shins, just for saying '‘I’m not even going to ask you if you need anything for the baby until it’s born, in case anything goes wrong’

I am 38 weeks pregnant. It's been a shitty old slog and I've been ill and anxious throughout. I'm having a c section next week.

I really didn't need to hear that.

Yanbu, but your title really made me giggle. Just kick her a bit, not much...

Maybe when she next mentions her birthday you could say "oh well I'm not thinking about that, you could be gone before then".

Absolutely not BU and honestly don't know What to say. Silly woman.

Nice idea KitXi! I will do exactly that!

Yanbu.

A normal person would either have said 'do you need anything for the baby?' or would have said nothing.

I think I would have responded with 'why would you say something like that?' what did you say?

She didn't think that one through. I'll hold her while you kick her.

Yadnbu.
I hope you have perfected your inner eye roll. Sounds like you're going to need it.

Maybe don’t kick her, just stick your foot out on the way passed and trip her.

I can understand your frustration!

Oh forget me - KitXi has it!

Wow, that was a tactless thing to say. So yes, kick her but do it hard!

You could give birth any day now...have a big list of what you need for the baby ready to hand her and enjoy your newborn snuggles when they come.

Luckily I'm reasonably resilient and can almost find a humorous angle to her thoughtless comment. But part of me just thinks 'fuck me, you don't say that shit out loud'

I have heard similar from my (now thankfully ex) MIL. Wish I’d had a witty remark!

My ils offered to buy a double pushchair when ds 2 was due but wouldn't until they had a chance to trail all the shops to try them out!!
Mil wouldn't have been able to see over the handles never mind push one!!

'fuck me, you don't say that shit out loud'
That's exactly what you should say.

YANBU. I went to a baby shower recently. The mother to be had said not to bring gifts but lots of people had anyway (including me because shopping for adorable baby stuff is half the fun!). One woman, a friend of her mother, had bought her a mother pamper kit rather than something for the baby which was a lovely thought except that she would not stop wittering on about how it was bad luck to buy things for the baby before it's born, and how she'll wait to know that it's all ok before she gets anything etc etc. It was so not appropriate and the poor mother to be clearly wasn't appreciating it. Some people have literally no tact!

Enjoy your sweet baby when they arrive!

I will definitely be telling her 'no need, we have everything' if she suddenly goes all spend-happy after the birth. Seriously, fuck her.

Insensitive but at least she's not buying you endless crap to fill up your house and her own. Mine couldn't stop buying shit, DH got more and more firm with her, nowadays he has to says no to anything she offers which is really sad.

It was an ill thought out thing to say i know and she shouldnt have said it but years ago when i had my eldest ( who is 26 soon) the same things were said to me as it was seen as ' bad luck' to have the pram for the baby till after he was born. lots of people said this, so i didnt think anything of it to be honest, but thinking about it now, its not good. you had to pre order the pram in those days and collect it when you got home.
however, some people did presents, but only small things and most waited till after he was born. It was a thing back then, but not something i would do these days.

good luck with your little one.

She's early 50s, step-MIL. So no excuse for 'old school' thinking really.

Leaving aside just how unhelpful it was to say that, you have to have stuff before the baby is born - your midwife won't be very impressed if you say 'we haven't got any clothes/nappies/a carseat in case things don't go to plan'. If you did that, I suspect you'd be having a discussion with social services shortly afterwards...

Old school thinking's fine. Saying it is something else.

We can manage to get everything we need ourselves, it's fine. I mean, some help would be lovely but it's by no means expected.

But part of me just thinks 'fuck me, you don't say that shit out loud'

You're exactly right.

Very best wishes for your CS next week. In the meantime, deep breaths and as much sleep as you can shoehorn in!

She is an absolute tactless NitWit. I like some of the suggestions here. Best wishes to you and your lovely baby - none at all to your numpty of an MIL>

SIL confided in DM that she's worried me buying my pram too early is bad luck, she's 30!!! DM told her I'm not superstitious at all and bought it because it was a good bank holiday sale deal. It's bizarre and MIL should not have said that to you OP.

I am early 50s and i wouldnt say it to anyone these days, but i did have older parents and in laws and they all said it. I honestly didnt think any thing of it, but it was a thing that was said.

i am not condoning what this lady said, but there are old myths about that some people still stick by.