To think DH should have told me?!

[fetacheeser]

I'm pretty close to PiL, we get on well, and we see them a couple of times a month. I'm pregnant with their first GC.

Just last week I was texting FiL as he was meant to come up today to help out with powerwashing. Texted him this morning what time would suit. Got a call from MiL saying he'd had a heart attack on Thursday and has been in surgery etc.! I was shocked; DH has told me nothing and I felt horrified!

DH is at work now so I am not sure how to go about this but AIBU in thinking that he could have told me what's going on?

When my FIL was in hospital, dp had a call to go to the hospital, which had happened a few times.
I went to bed and fell asleep. Woke up for work and went downstairs and dp was there, so I asked why he wasn't in work. He said 'dad died 8 hours ago'. I was in the same house but he hadn't woke me to tell me.

Snowysky

That I can understand. By telling you he made it real. There was no different outcome if he woke you up or let you sleep. He was going to need support so he might as well let you get a full nights sleep.
But he told you at the soonest time he saw you! He didn’t keep quiet about it for 6 days!
The OPs DH has lived with her, chatted , eaten ,slept, watched telly etc with her and made no mention of it. That is not just odd, it’s wrong on every level.

I think you should be more concerned about him not visiting since he heard the news rather than him not telling you (although that is strange too)

Oh dear OP sounds like DH isn't coping with the news.

I hope you get to talk to him soon.

My DH is a little like this, in not telling me stuff. I don't think he means to cut me off, it's just that he's slow on processing big stuff I hope that's all that's the issue here!

yorkshireyummymummy I totally agree with you. When both our fathers were ill at the same time we had different ways of handling it. I would come back from the hospital and give a complete rundown, he would go 'it's ok'. Then I would find out x,y and z had happened. I think some men just have a totally different way of dealing with things.

I think in OP's case, he didn't want to worry her, and he's possibly quite shocked at the moment that this has happened. In my dp's case he and his brothers were brought up not to show their emotions or worries. Where I'm the total opposite- I'm a problem shared type person. But it really showed our differences when these things happened.

Oh dear. I’d also put your dh sleeping all weekend as stress over the situation. If he’s in denial, he’s going through a lot of cognitive dissonance and that is very tiring. Some of us in that situation don’t stop sleeping and others can’t sleep. He’s not thinking about how this looks to his parents. Kid gloves and all that!

OP are you sure he knows?

Might sound daft but is it possible MIL text him and tried to make light of it so as not to worry you both but he just didn't receive the text?

If MIL had tried to play it down and said not to worry she perhaps wouldn't think it odd not to have a reply, but then now you've been in touch she could be a bit

@Katedotness1963 im so sorry. How did you react with your SIL and did she apologise for her bad decision?

Does your DH definitely know?

I found out my DF had been rushed to hospital when I happened to pop by their house one evening and the neighbour came rushing out to say the paramedics had been in the early hours, followed by an ambulance. This was 15 hours later and not a peep from my DM!

Cue frantically calling round the hospitals trying to find him, DM's mobile was turned off etc. Eventually tracked him down and after a few days as an inpatient he was fine. But what if he hadn't, and none of us had had the chance to say goodbye? I was furious.

DM said she 'didn't want to worry us'...... we Had Words. And the neighbour now has my phone number if she sees anything similar in the future!

Any update OP?

any update?