Am I being the difficult parent?

[The3]

Dc came home with a sheet to record her diet and exercise over the course of a week, plus a box each day to fill in to say whether it was a good day or not.

I felt uncomfortable about this - I don’t think a primary school aged child should be focussing on diet, or on exercise as something in itself rather than as a normal part of play.

For context, she has a healthy BMI. There might be one or two kids in the entire school who are overweight, but most kids are very healthy. She is in Y2 and I don’t want her to pick up on “x is healthy” or “y is unhealthy” - I just want her to enjoy food and play and not think about it very much at this age.

AIBU to send a polite note to the teacher saying I don’t want her to do this homework?

I agree with you

I agree! I’m shocked they are putting this pressure on a child.

I think I’d be the extra annoying parent and add lots of comments on to the sheet, always ticking that it was a good day. ‘Today was a good day because I ate lots of different sorts of foods and really enjoyed going out with my family for pizza and ice cream’. Etc.

Posted too soon. What on earth is a “good day” and “bad day”? That’s terrible.

checkingforballoons Exactly.

Shocking! Absolutely challenge it.

I am with you. I do think schools are stuck between a rock and a hard place when the healthy eating stuff though!

Ds is 8 and autistic, he has restricted diet due to the autism but some of his comments recently have led to us being referred to the eating disorders team at Camhs. His Camhs worker has contacted School to insist any “healthy eating” work they do he is withdrawn from as in his case it is proving counterproductive

Agree with you re the 'healthy' or 'unhealthy' thing though - my dc was incredibly fussy (ARFID) and we took about 8 years to even get her to try a tiny bit of cheese. Cue 'healthy eating' at school, they told them all that cheese was unhealthy and hey presto she refused to even go near it any more. Gee thanks for that.

Isn't it just for them to understand what foods are good for them and which ones are not? As opposed to being on an actual diet.

I don't think it's bad for children to know what foods are healthier choices. Likewise for exercise, I expect that would just mean what sort of physical activities has she done like cycling, walking, playing in the park.

Tbh it sounds boring as fuck. Not a lot of learning/practice opportunities either unless you count the actual writing.

"Bad/good" is that referring to what she ate and amount of exercise she did, or genuinely if she had a good or bad day? If it's the first then fuck that.

Exercise can be anything..walked to school,was out on the trampoline,scooted to the park,played in the park,went swimming, cheerleading/gymnastics/football club if she goes to any. Tbh the exercise bit wouldn't bother me as it's good for kids to realise it can be fun,it can be done while you do normal day to day things and it doesn't equal going to a gym.

What's the purpose of the homework?

Yes YABU and overly precious. It is important to teach healthy eating habits. Its not like they're all comparing weight and BMI they'll just be looking at how much fruit/veg.

Also I'd be very surprised if there are only a few overweight children in the whole school!

Aside from anything else it's part of the science curriculum
'describe the importance for humans of exercise, eating the right amounts of different types of food, and hygiene'

So yes stop being precious.

Dd can be a bit rigid about things (can’t they all at this age) and I don’t want other children telling her that it’s unhealthy to have a pudding at dinner or point out that she only has sweets at weekends.

Also the table has space for four meals and two snacks which already prompted questions, as we eat three meals and one snack!

I like that my children are learning what is healthy and unhealthy. I like that they can tell me that, for example, vegetables are healthy, and eating a whole pack of biscuits is not healthy. But I don’t like the way that homework suggests good or bad. Unhealthy food isn’t bad in moderation.

This is terrible and sets children up for a lifetime of negative feelings about food. I'd be ok with doing a food and exercise diary but would refuse to do good day bad day as we don't put value judgements on food.

One of mine had this - oh years back but at secondary school - and a child actually got a bad mark for burger and chips. Now if he 'd written beef patty and pan fried French fries, he'd have got a good mark.

|Irrelevant I know

@PastBananas that's the school doing it badly.

When we talked about healthy we always mention balanced. And always include all the food groups as they should be.

So a healthy balanced meal will have carbs,protein,fruit and veg,dairy and(shock horror!!) sugar and fats. And we don't talk about unhealthy,but instead focus on how much of everything should (ideally) be on a plate.

A plate of lettuce and tomatoes is just as frowned upon as a pack of biscuits and a fruit shoot or chips and pizza only.

Even then we do mention that even those are fine on occasion. What's important is that the majority of their diet is a healthy balanced diet.

No idea how much the kids actually take in,but I find it a more sensible approach.

I honestly don’t think my 4 year old would have room to write what he eats in a day on there..

@The3 are the kids expected to share it with peers or have it analysed as a class? In that case they can fuck right off!

Sadly with todays obesity it really is important to educate children about healthy eating.

Isn't the good day/bad day thing about whether they enjoyed themselves?

I wonder if maybe the teacher is capable of having a fairly nuanced class discussion that acknowledges that some unhealthy foods are delicious and therefore a small amount is good because it's enjoyable... And maybe they're hoping that they'll be able to see a link between exercising and feeling good, or able to discuss it sensitively if a child dislikes exercising.... Or maybe it's just about getting kids to reflect on how they feel (I admit, good day /bad day is a bit basic for that).

If you don't like the look of it, OP, email the teacher saying you're not sure about the homework, get her to call you back and clarify what the intent is and how the completed diary will be used in lessons.

@LifeBeginsAtGin except that a lot of people have their own definition of healthy eating with extremes from "here,have half a cow" to hysteria over a biscuit every two weeks.

I hate this. It's like the whole 'healthy lunchbox' saga, it's done shittily. I am sick of my DD (5) telling me she can't have an ice cream because it's not healthy...fuck right off. Moderation is key, not teaching our kids to eat rabbit food. I have friends who were brought up to monitor their 'good' & 'bad' eating days, surprisingly (not) several have eating issues now.

I'd be that parent. Every day would be filled in with a simple 'i ate in moderation today' & that would be it.

I agree this doesn't appear appropriate for their age. Maybe contact the teacher to discuss what they're trying to achieve/reason behind it and decide then whether to allow it. Or send a polite note advising you aren't comfortable with the homework and they won't be completing it and why

I don’t care why they’re doing it: if it’s to improve their writing and maths, we can do that at home through other tasks.

If it’s something other kids will see - then it’s not happening: dd doesn’t need other people commenting on what she eats, and doesn’t need to comment on what other people eat.

If it’s just for the teacher to see, again, I’m struggling to see the point: we feed the family a balanced diet and if I’m looking for advice I’ll go to a dietician. We also have a family regime of three meals and one snack, and we eat pudding (fruit, yoghurt, and once or twice a week something like Eton mess or crumble and custard) after dinner every night. I know some people frown on this, but it works for us. Some people believe children need something to eat just before bed, or a snack in the morning: our family functions fine as it is, and I’m not looking for dietary advice.

If it’s not for the teacher to look at, and not for other kids to look at, then what’s the point? Dd knows that fruit and vegetables make you strong and healthy. She knows that milk, yoghurt and cheese are good for bones and teeth, and that meat and spinach contain iron. She knows that sweets and chocolate can be bad for your teeth, as can biscuits and crisps as they leave crumbs stuck on the teeth. We don’t talk about fat and carbs specifically, but we model what an appropriate diet looks like by serving it!

We like ice cream. We like cakes and bread. We all like apples, and cheese, and marmite and fizzy water and yoghurt. And her diet includes all of these things in reasonable proportions, and that’s fine. She’s not mature enough to understand the concept of “everything in moderation” so we do that for her. She’s also likely to be quite binary in her views of “good” and “bad” foods if teacher says something is healthy or not.

I don't see anything wrong with it.

The school don't seem to be asking the DC to say whether food is healthy or unhealthy. I would take 'good day' to mean:

1. some of most of the food groups eaten
2. some exercise (which given they are at school and have playtime every day is easy to achieve)

And a 'good week' would mean:

1. a balance of all the food groups eaten
2. a reasonable level of exercise

For a child with a restricted diet, a 'good day' could mean reasonable for them.