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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being the difficult parent?

92 replies

The3 · 04/06/2018 19:54

Dc came home with a sheet to record her diet and exercise over the course of a week, plus a box each day to fill in to say whether it was a good day or not.

I felt uncomfortable about this - I don’t think a primary school aged child should be focussing on diet, or on exercise as something in itself rather than as a normal part of play.

For context, she has a healthy BMI. There might be one or two kids in the entire school who are overweight, but most kids are very healthy. She is in Y2 and I don’t want her to pick up on “x is healthy” or “y is unhealthy” - I just want her to enjoy food and play and not think about it very much at this age.

AIBU to send a polite note to the teacher saying I don’t want her to do this homework?

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 04/06/2018 20:27

I would fill it in creatively.
Breakfast would be sourdough toast with avocado and caviar and organic goats milk yoghurt will mulberries and alpine strawberries, lunch some exotic salad and grilled fish followed by a pomegranate, that sort of thing. You might have fun doing it.

checkingforballoons · 04/06/2018 20:29

Ooh! Yes! Make it up!
Say she did two hours of yoga before her bowl of organic yaks yoghurt!

pictish · 04/06/2018 20:29

Hmm...is it not simply about healthy lifestyle choices? They are not trying to get her on a diet...they are opening a discussion about nutrition and exercise.
Chill out.

Tambien · 04/06/2018 20:32

I dint see anything wrong with it. I did that with my dcs at home at that age, explaining what is a good diet, what is a healthy food and what isn’t. What you eat at heart content and what you can’t.
They need to learn!

But you need to remember that some children will eat crap. Crap for breakfast (like donughts), crap at lunch time (ever heard about a anrs bar for lunch?) and crap at dinner (pizza with fries) every single day.

The idea I wouod be uncomfortable with isnthe association you are making
Crap diet = overweight
And good diet = weight ok.
Because, esp at that age, you can have a crap diet and still be slim. There was a lot of children like this at my dcs school who had a diet of crips, biscuits, pizza etc... and were still slim.

MikeUniformMike · 04/06/2018 20:32

Yak's yoghurt? That's brilliant.

Original poster
The3 · 04/06/2018 20:33

Tbh the teacher is lovely and I’m sure that school aren’t deliberately trying to be the food police: just that this sort of thing could result in dd having hang-ups she really doesn’t need. When she’s older, she can understand the whole diet and exercise thing, but she’s in the infants: I just want her to enjoy her food and enjoy her play without thinking about whether she’s eating healthily or exercising enough - those things are my job, as the adult.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 04/06/2018 20:36

Oh goodness, I disagree with the first few responses. I read your op, and thought 'what a great idea'.

Charolais · 04/06/2018 20:38

Sometimes schools have to do the job the parents won’t do. It was in the late 50’s when our school taught us the importance of brushing ones teeth. I had no idea it was important to do it all all, let alone twice a day. My mother thought ‘why bother when you are going to lose them all anyway’.

Tambien · 04/06/2018 20:39

I’m sorry but why do you think she would develop hang ups on certain foods?
Is that an issue if she develop hang ups on biscuits and crisps?
They are not teaching them that some foods are evil. They are teaching nutrition. Something they need to know just as much as they know how to count and write. Not that all girls should be slim etc....

Nutrition is something you need to learn young, when your tastes buds are developing.
It’s much easier to make the right choice as an adult when you are used to make them as a child. And when you are used to eat these foods and why you are eating them.

jade9390 · 04/06/2018 20:39

I hope that she has not been singled out or told she is overweight. I wonder if this is another exercise to spy on families, like checking lunch boxes, throwing away crisps and labeling them as bad parents :( I would throw it away and ask the school about their motives. Your regime of moderation sounds better, everything in moderation. I had a weight watchers instructor for a mother needless to say even as an infant, I had to count calories, weigh myself and ended up with eating disorders

NotAgainYoda · 04/06/2018 20:40

Past

Same happened with my son. First efforts to get him eating meat were banjaxed by a videe about chicken nuggets, when he was around 7

pictish · 04/06/2018 20:41

For perspective, I’m an LA in a school and we’re doing something similar just now. It’s not about making kids paranoid about their diet or bodies...it’s about making sure they know what a normal portion size is, what fruit and vegetables are, how much protein you need, hidden sugar and salt etc. You might have a firm grip on these things as a parent but remember not every child is so lucky to have a knowledgable parent with common sense at home to guide them.

Don’t moan about it fgs. Pick your battles.

Ummmmgogo · 04/06/2018 20:43

sorry I also think it's a wonderful idea. what we are doing to this generation is disgusting and abusive anything that gives them the power to take control of their health and live happier lives has to be applauded imo.

Tambien · 04/06/2018 20:45

jade I think you are projecting.
They are not weighing the children or checking in every portions they are eating as well as checking they dint out any weight on.

They are just learning about foods and what our bodies need to be well.

Theknacktoflying · 04/06/2018 20:46

It is just sh*t homework and I wouldn’t want any of my kids to do it.
Kids at this age don’t have much of a say as to what they are going to eat ....

senioritabonita · 04/06/2018 20:46

I got one of these and sent it back in with a polite note advising that we would not be participating.

I was absolutely furious when it was suggested to DD that cheese, eggs and milk were 'high fat' and should be limited whilst pasta, potatoes and rice were slow release low fat energy foods.

Madness.

RebelRogue · 04/06/2018 20:46

@pictish what impact does that have though on small or disadvantaged children that have little to no say in what is bought/cooked/served for them?

Just curious not goady.

Original poster
The3 · 04/06/2018 20:48

Hmm... less than 10 kids in the year (small rural school), none overweight, half have at least one parent as a healthcare professional, no-one is eating doughnuts for breakfast or Mars bars for lunch (but Waitrose essential yak’s yoghurt with carrot sticks a distinct possibility)

I know the school has great intentions here: it’s just that kids don’t get nuance in the same way adults do: portion sizes and snack frequency differ from family to family and it’s okay. I’m sure the teacher wouldn’t say anything negative about dc’s diet, but other kids might.

I’ve written a polite note: it’s the one piece of homework, in 8 years of having kids at school, that one of my dc haven’t done: it’ll pass, and I hope the teacher understands my polite explanation.

OP posts:
Ummmmgogo · 04/06/2018 20:51

I think a polite note is a great way of solving your issue but I don't think that having a hcp protects you from obesity.

pictish · 04/06/2018 20:51

Well...I work with teenagers with additional support needs who will soon leave school and move into adult services, where no one will oversee or try to educate them in nutrition. We do what we can, while we can.

frasier · 04/06/2018 20:56

The healthy food thing is not the point. Even my 3 year old will tell a well intentioned giver that he’s already had chocolate that day... It’s the “good day?” thing that is wrong at that age.

They should have related it to 5 a day or something.

Hoppinggreen · 04/06/2018 20:57

When dd was in y2 she brought home something similar and started making a list of “bad” foods she shouldn’t eat
She had some issues around food then so I was particularly worried
I was worried about being THAT parent but from talking to other mums I discovered that I really wasn’t.
I spoke to the teacher who gave the children a talk about food groups and a balanced diet which seemed to sort it out. I think the intention was good but the message had come across a bit skewed

TheKarateKitty · 04/06/2018 20:58

No, it’s a good thing for children to learn portion control and what are healthy foods, and what foods are not as nutritious but okay in moderation.

I doubt the children would say anything about what she’s eating or not eating.

Will this always be a thing? You don’t like the assignment, so they shouldn’t have to do it but get a grade or a pass?

RebelRogue · 04/06/2018 20:59

@pictish ah then fair enough and it makes a lot of sense in that scenario.

Winebottle · 04/06/2018 21:03

I don't see anything wrong with it.

Kids being taught what is healthy is a good thing and it is good they are taught to be aware of and keep track of what they are eating.

The trouble with 'you shouldn't be worrying about your diet at your age' is eating whatever you want is not healthy. If you get to adulthood like that, it is very difficult to change. Whereas, if you have always been aware of what you are eating, it doesn't feel like you are depriving yourself.

Kids may not be fat now because they are growing and active but if they eat the same way when their metabolism has slowed and they are working in office jobs, a significant proportion will be over weight.