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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unhappy my child's phone was confiscated?

487 replies

Phoneproblems · 04/06/2018 16:23

I have no issues with the phone itself being confiscated but apparently it is only to be returned on Friday - surely this cannot be right?

OP posts:
ShawshanksRedemption · 04/06/2018 21:24

@phoneproblems

There are pupils who may be adopted, may be in care (abuse/neglect), may have come from a family where there is DV and they are now living in a refuge or resettled. You don't know, and your daughter may not know either, but allowing photos in school of other pupils is not OK because it's to keep those vulnerable kids safe. Your DC taking photos potentially puts those kids at risk if shared online. School staff just don't have the time to spend everyday sifting through photos ensuring those vulnerable kids aren't in shot, so it's better to allow no photos of other pupils at all.

It might just be photos of hair this time, but if they allow it for your DC then they have to allow it for other pupils. You can't have different rules for different kids.

All week may seem harsh, but it's harsh because it's an important lesson to learn - keeping others safe. If it wasn't harsh and didn't cause significant inconvenience, it wouldn't be much of a deterrent.

WowLookAtYou · 04/06/2018 21:27

I can't believe this needs spelling out. Are people really this dim?

piefacedClique · 04/06/2018 21:34

Rather than saying we have twisted minds, or whatever the phrasing was, maybe consider that some of us actually see it from the other side as teachers dealing with the shit phones bring every day for schools!

BarbarianMum · 04/06/2018 21:39

If it's "your" phone, why has your dd taken it to school? If it goes to school then it falls under school rules and can be confiscated. Suck it up.

Audree · 04/06/2018 22:31

“Innocently” according to your dd?

Also, your thread is literally called AIBU to be sad my child’s phone was confiscated.

People are answering your question.

Audree · 04/06/2018 22:36

*unhappy not sad

BlackeyedSusan · 04/06/2018 23:09

At ds’s School each form room has a locker and at morning registration phones are placed in the locker, for retrieval at registration last thing.

genius. I wish dd's school did that.

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/06/2018 23:37

Some of you have warped minds, I'm sorry. This was a small group of eleven year old girls taking pictures of HAIR.

Ive seen perfectly nice girls from lovely families sending bikini pictures to boys at 11 yo. I work with some at risk youth but these werent. Just normal kids. The school have to police for the worst case; bullying, porn and sexting. Dreadful but it does happen.

ChristinaMarlowe · 04/06/2018 23:48

If a parent called/came in to request the phone we'd happily hand it over to them. It's not meant as a slight and certainly not being confiscated from you OP, just from the student in school time. If you call them he would probably be allowed to collect it at the end of the day on the understanding he gave it straight to you when he got home. If you give it right back to him that's nothing to do with the school (unless he brings it back in this week and is caught with it out during the school day).

WowLookAtYou · 05/06/2018 07:35

OP, if the school were to give the phone back to you, what wools you do with it.
Because if you intend to return it straight to your dd, then I'm sorry but I think you've got some seriously poor parenting judgements going on.

DragonMummy1418 · 05/06/2018 07:41

Ok I've not managed to read the full thread but I have a question for you...

If there is a no phones rule in your work place, would you expect to be able to use it on your lunch break and what punishment would you expect if you did get caught using your phone in Work time?

Ickyockycocky · 05/06/2018 07:48

It’s no wonder our teachers are leaving the profession as fast as they can! Parents need to support the school rules and give the teachers their support.

How on earth will our children learn discipline and respect if parents like the OP kick off like this. I truly despair! Education is massively important so do your children a favour and support the school!

Frogscotch7 · 05/06/2018 08:01

To sum up, YABU.

ladyvimes · 05/06/2018 08:04

Yes they can legally confiscate the phone and refuse to return it until Friday. Your child broke the rules and has to face the consequences and you should be supporting the school. YABU

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 05/06/2018 08:39

I know that I’m referring back to the dark ages, but there was a time when no one took a mobile phone to school. If they needed to get in touch with a parent or vice versa, there was a phone in the school office.

OP, your child and her friends may well have been doing something perfectly innocent. Not everyone regards it in the same way and there is always the chance that photos will be used for the wrong purpose, as well as all the other concerns that posters have raised.

Aside from all of that, you are inferring to your child that it’s OK to ignore rules in school. That sets up a whole raft of problems for future issues.

redcarbluecar · 05/06/2018 08:45

Not sure of the legalities but I think 5 days is a bit extreme. Maybe go to the school and politely request the phone back then, as Topsey suggests above, keep it from your daughter for a couple of days to enforce the message.

YorkieDorkie · 05/06/2018 08:50

YABU. You seem more bothered about the phone than your DC following the rules. Perhaps support the school rather than being "that parent".

Teateaandmoretea · 05/06/2018 08:51

They mean that they will give it back to the child at the end of the week. If you go in I'm sure they will give it to you though.

WowLookAtYou · 05/06/2018 09:00

The thing is, lots of parents want a school that has good discipline. But what they actually mean is that they want good discipline for other people's children, not their own. As soon as a rule adversely affects them, they're in complaining about Draconian measures.

crispysausagerolls · 05/06/2018 09:13

I don’t understand what the problem is? The school has rules which have been broken, and now the school has issued a punishment which must be adhered to. OP, don’t be one of those parents...

OliviaStabler · 05/06/2018 09:19

Taking it away until the end of the day isn't much of a punishment, is it? They are not meant to use it during the day anyway, so it is a non-punishment to give it back at the end of the day like nothing happened.

The end of the week return is a good length of time for the lesson to be learnt.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 05/06/2018 09:21

Why do some parents not support the school, what is the world coming to. Child caught taking photos on an internet enabled phone at school. NOT OK, against the rules. Massive safeguarding issue. Punish the child dont go hassling the school.

If its your property dont give it to your DC to take to school FFS.

BanginChoons · 05/06/2018 09:25

I wouldn't be happy about the length of ban. The school can dictate what happens in school time, sure, but not out of it.

I work in a different city from where I live. My daughter's mobile phone is how we communicate with each other and how I know she is home safely. We do not have a landline phone. I would be asking the school for it back.

Bluelonerose · 05/06/2018 09:39

The school is punishing your dc home time by not allowing them to have it back. It is not there job to punish there that's yours.

In your situation I think a detention after school where the phone is returned is a better option.

Student is punished and the rules are upheld.

Onlyoldontheoutside · 05/06/2018 09:44

Luckily my school have a phone ban.Kids that need them can hand them into the office and collect them at the end of the day.
They are allowed to take them on school trips if the return home time is after school hours,this is only for year 10/11.They can use them on the coach and some trips have audio commentary they can download.
But they are not allowed to abuse these rules.
I think we are becoming addicted to phones and I includey self here on MN again