When people try and step in... Toddler tantrums

[Nicpem1982]

Why do people have to help, I've shouted at an elderly man and now I feel guilty

Long story short popped to the shops after nursery with dd who chose a little something as a treat and then started to misbehave so treat was removed and we left.

Once outside she threw a tantrum which I was attempting to deal with out giving in to dd who at this point was lying on the floor screaming

An elderly man thought it would be a good idea to try and assist by telling my dd that mummy would take her to another shop and buy her some sweets to cheer her up.

I asked him if he'd mind leaving me to deal with dd as shes been removed from the shop of misbehaving and had a treat removed and that is why she was tantruming and I will not be rewarding this behaviour

So then I got more parenting advice about how I couldn't leave dd in that state she was crying, wailing rolling around refusing to get up, you know the usual and that I should just give her what she wants to make her happy

And that point I shouted at the man and told him to mind his own business

Aibu to think that unless your supporting the parent during a tantrum you mind your own business!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Headbutt

Ahhhhh thanks

@LionAllMessy mine sometimes has a tantrum if cut his banana up, he wails and tries to stick it back together. Then other times throws the whole banana at me because I haven't cut it up 🤷🏼‍♀️
They aren't very logical are they. It's kind of cute afterwards but at the time (especially in public) is frustrating and embarrassing.

Country - What a lovely lady she was! Sometimes that's exactly what you need to hear.

My eldest was a one for tantrums in the shops too. I remember once he was kicking off because I had refused him something or other and the woman on the till said to him “no need to cry, here’s a lollipop” - so then I had to say to her “thank you but I don’t want to reward this type of behaviour” which was obliviously a million times worse as I now had refused him the original thing AND the lollipop.

On the other hand, I was dealing with the same child, different tantrum also in the shops, with a small newborn in tow. Trying to get the older one into his car seat and he’s gone rigid as a plank whilst the baby was screaming as well. I’m almost in tears and a woman comes over and says “you look like you could use a hand” turned to my eldest and said some kind of magic that I can’t recall about him being a big boy and helping mummy out and could she show him how the seat worked. He was compliant for her, she had that combination of stern tone and underlying friendliness.

I did cry a bit and she said it would get better. It did.

Some people are just really annoying and others are really awesome.

I havent had anyone step in but my boy was tantruming when i wouldnt let him pull everything off Aldi shelves. I then got a tut when i ignored him, picked him up and carried him back to the car.

I also was told 'isnt he naughty' when my 8 week old was sobbing post jabs. I told her in an obvious tone that he had just had his jabs and at 8 weeks he wasn't able to be naughty.

My almost 4 years old DD has epic tantrums. She also goes like a crazed octopus. She's incredibly shrill too. It's actually painful when she gets a temper.
She once had a tantrum in Boots because I wouldn't buy something inappropriate. I tried reasoning with her, to no avail. Had DD2 with me in the sling so carrying a crazed octopus wasn't really an option. Had to drag her kicking and screaming to the car then try to strap her into her seat. Took her home, left her with DH then went back to retrieve my basket of shopping and pay. Was awful, and people were clearly judging, except 1, who told me she had been there and it does get easier. That nearly a year ago and it's not easier yet, but I live in hope!
Just last week she had a tantrum because I bought her a book she wanted

I do find most commonly that if I say to the child 'stop doing that immediately and listen to your mum' It can have a good effect 😁

Though I do mostly stay out of it. I would only comment if myself and the mother had exchanged sympathetic looks.

TOTALLY AGREE! Does my absolute nut in. Infact it does my head in when people step in full stop. Even if Just to say 'hey, what's up, be nice to your mum'. I still want to stick two fingers up at them!!

YANBU at all. When my daughter was a similar age I had an appointment that she came along to. She was behaving terribly and I kept having stern words with her, however the person we had the appointment kept saying “oh she’s fine, just let her carry on!”. Erm, stay out of it please. I wasn’t even raising my voice!