To feel sad that they will spoil every family occasion for me.

[Chickoletta]

It's another ILs post I'm afraid.

My ILs are bloody annoying; this is not just my opinion but the opinion of their own 4 children too, including DH. MIL in particular is one of those people who has to fill a silence with inane shit and is always on transmit rather than receive. Even though they live close by and see my 3 DCs fairly regularly, I don't feel that they know them at all as they never actually listen to them. All DCs are very sensible, well-behaved kids but their behaviour is unrecognisable around ILs as the only way they know how to interact with them is to wind them up - teasing, tickling, chasing etc no matter what the occasion.

On a day to day basis I can cope with this and with MIL's many other very annoying traits such as re-folding my laundry, bringing shittyfood parcels for DH, re-arranging the kitchen cupboards etc, but what I find really hard to cope with is the fact that they will be there for every major landmark in my family's life. These people, with whom I have nothing in common, who irritate the life out of me and make me feel tense to be around, will be there for every special moment.

Even though DH also finds them difficult he insists that they have to be involved if my (sane) parents are going to be.

It's DD's birthday in a couple of weeks and I'm already dreading their visit as they will bring sackloads of unnecessary and OTT presents and make it all about them.

I suspect that I am being U and am prepared to be told that I am, but it's actually getting me down. Has anyone got any practical advice on surviving this?

Other people not having ILs or ILs who behave in worse ways is irrelevant. OP’s problem is that hers are a PITA.

No, but it’s just an interesting observation that I’m probably a lot less picky about my PILs’ interaction with dcs, as we don’t see them much and my own parents aren’t around. If I had the full sets of gps round the corner maybe I’d start getting a lot more picky. Not saying either of us is right or wrong.

Chickoletta, I understood things a lot better from your most recent post. And I understand that you are venting on here and not in real life. That's what its here for.
I am still laughing about MIL's comments to the teacher about the dog. Hiliarious to hear about but probably cringing to witness in RL. I suspected that my late DM had collection of elephant in the room comments that she carried around in her handbag to bring out at the most jawdroppingly inappropriate moments. It was done in all innocence, its just she had a real knack for hitting a home run with it every single time and pressing the point home regardless of any attempts to distract her. I didn't realise that my DF was starting to show symptoms of a condition, whch really affected his behaviour iadversely so being out with them in public could be quite tense as I never knew what they'd do next. So I can understand that. I'd tell people about it and they'd say, oh but that's so funny, at least they are not boring, but although its good for annecdotes after the fact, during the incident you just wish it wouldn't happen.
I'd also be very annoyed that she's attatching these undeserved negative labels to your DD in front of her peers, their parents and teachers. That's not on. She probably thought she was being funny, but School is hard enough and it does nothing for your DD's confidence.
I suppose all you can do on that front is keep their attendance to events where it won't have so much impact, and put DH on PIL duty.

Whether you op is being snobby or reasonably she can't hop how she feels.

Op I can't think of anything positive from joint things with in laws in ten years. They have ruined or dragged down nearly every bday, Christmas, meal etc.
Fil also can't talk of chat to dc or chat so he will wind them up too. Hide something from dd so she tries to find it... Or bounces ball on her head repeatedly stuff like that.

People like this do. Not. Listen. They have no boundaries... They do not care. Agree with pp, try and carve out some stuff for yourselves.. It's really not fair for dh to thrust them onto you all the time. There has to be compromise.

Good they won't be doing bday parties I had time stop that too. These moments are so precious if someone can't behave properly...