To be over the top show off party Mum

[PartyAnxiety]

So my DD is about to have her 7th birthday party. She's having it at a local farm where half her class have also had their parties (you pay per child for a set package) so nothing extravagant.

My DD has been obsessing over the party for ages and in particular the party bags, it seems to be the main part of her birthday she's looking forward to. She's not getting a big present (she was due a new bike but got given a second hand one by a cousin and said she's happy with it and there's nothing else she wants.)

She's just been really obsessed that she wants to give out great party bags and has been constantly thinking of new ideas of things that should go in them - I've been happy to pay since I had a certain budget for her birthday and due to her not having a big pressie there's lots left over.

Now I'm just freaking out that the parents are going to think we're being show offs or that we're setting a precedent of spending stupid amounts of money on party bags (people mostly do a few sweets and plastic tat which is fine).

So far we have a book each (they came from a set from book people so wasn't expensive), 3-d stickers (they're kind of posh butterfly stickers that were about £1.5 each usually but I found them cheaper. A butterfly kite thing (usually £3 each but again I got them cheaper - they look quite expensive though). Some glitter slime (can't even remember how much it was) some temp tattoos and some fabric pens. The bags themselves are fabric tote bags that can be drawn on with the fabric pens.

Looking at it all it just seems OTT (I also read an old article somewhere about a mum who sent a party bag back because she thought it was over the top and trying too hard) and I'm wondering whether I should not put it all in. On the other hand I've paid for it and will have zero use for it and DD would be really disappointed as it's the main part she's been planning and looking forward to.

By the way I know this is a ridiculous third world problem - I guess I'm just not that close to the other mums and feel a bit excluded at school events - everyone else seems to form into little huddles which aren't particularly welcoming etc so don't want to cast myself out any further - particularly because it means DD misses out on social events where the mums just invite their friends.

I don't think they sound ott I'd think it was a l very thought and tell you so

I love makimg party bags. My dd is slso going to turn 7 soon. Weve got nice paper gift bags amd each one will contain a box with sweets wrapped in cellophane with one of those swirly lollipops sticking out of the top, a bracelet with a unicorn charm on in a little organza bag, unicorn poo (glittery slime - why do.they love it so much?!) Unicorn tempory tattoos. Its perhaps a bit OTT but I've made my peace with it. I love doing it, the kids love it and it makes dd so happy.

My DD would absolutely love that party bag. I think the mum who returned the party bag in the earlier thread was incredibly rude so wouldn’t let that put you off.

Thanks guys! Really appreciate the advice!

I think it sounds fine at my lb last party we have a paint your own money box in the animal his party theme was, a crayon in the shape of the animal , a wrist band / hair tie, book Mark, tattoo, bead set thing and pencil and note pad and everyone said they liked them. It was a family/ family friend party with small numbers. But I honestly think it's fine if struggle to tell you what was in the party bags from most party's

I would probably think it was a bit of a posh party bag being in a tote bag but not think much else of it.
I tend to go with sweets and whatever the ‘in’ thing is in party bags as children’s interests differ so much and I don’t want to give loads of things that might end up being thrown away. So I’ve done things like slime, fidget spinners etc and tend to just give a large bar of galaxy/dairy milk with it.
I imagine there will be some children wondering where the sweets are despite your generosity - though hopefully they’d be too polite to say!

lol if my child had received that I’d have thought, “what a lovely party bag” and thought no more about it.

Think you’re over thinking things.

Mine went to a party recently and instead of a standard bag, they received a lovely book each and then a little paper back full of different sweets inside. When I did the bags for my son, I did the standard tat.

Stop worrying, if anyone says anything, just explain to them.

I'd much rather get that than a bag of cheap tat and frankly anyone who gives back a party bag for being too much is so unspeakably rude that they should immediately be discounted!

Some parents might think it's OTT but it's really their problem if they see the actions of another parent as a judgment on them. You can't be responsible for their feelings and you're being generous which is a nice impulse, so I say go for it.

Think you’re over thinking things. It wouldn't be the first time!

You're right hopefully most of the mums won't even notice what's inside - I definitely wouldn't give it more than 2 seconds though if it was my DD coming back with it.

I think they sound lovely and if it makes your DD then I would do it. Other mums should not make you feel bad, if they feel they can't afford to it, then you can do nice ideas for not a lot of money, if it makes them feel inadequate that is something they need to address.
I think some mums turn everything into a competition rather than just live and Let live and being happy for eachother. We should all be sticking together and supporting eachother .

Also, the sweets and tat are for the children, not the adults. My 6yo still has plastic tat he was given 3 years ago at a party, some plastic animals that live in his Playmobil box and all come out when he empties the box on the floor.

He also still wears a pair of giant My Little Pony glasses (like a half-face mask) and matchig hairclip with a swatch of rainbow hair, from Burger King circa 2015

He'd be gracious for receiving a book, but bloody hate it. We have stacks and stacks of books but he isn't a fan of them, sadly.