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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU bloody “dog people”

711 replies

mumof2exhausted · 03/06/2018 17:05

Ok so I know there are some decent, responsible dog people out there but AIBU to say that there are some absolute arseholes who genuinely don’t seem to understand that not everyone loves dogs?? My 4 year old was recently bitten by a random dog so understandably is little nervous around them. A huge dog has just ran after him in the park (double the size of him) and he was petrified. Dog obviously thought he was playing game of chase. I don’t blame the dogs, I blame the owners. They didn’t call him off immediately just laughed and shouted “oh he’s just being friendly”. This happens all the time. Another big dog jumped up and pushed over my 2 year old couple of weeks ago. And no sorry or anything. Again a “he’s just being friendly ha ha” and off they walked without so much as a backwards glance to check my crying 2 year old was ok. I don’t have a dog but if I did and this happened I would be mortified and would apologise immediately and dog would go straight on a lead. Nearly lost my shit today with the owners but honestly don’t think they would have even cared.

OP posts:
BookAtBedtime · 08/06/2018 06:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sockwomble · 08/06/2018 07:10

"why not teach your (really quite big) child to stand still and not flap his arms about."

Well I wouldn't tell mine to run but I wouldn't be able to teach my big child to not run and flap or generally behave in an unpredictable way if he was distressed.

yolofish · 08/06/2018 07:14

absolutely fair point. oth they were on the bit of beach where dogs are allowed, on and off lead, and shouting 'run darling run' didnt help anyone at all - not the child, not the mum, and not me or my dog. Of course I apologised profusely.

LakieLady · 08/06/2018 07:20

Why not dog walk in child free areas then?

Do tell where these child-free areas are, please. I'd love to know.

Even pubs aren't child free these days.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 08/06/2018 07:33

Why should I only ask in child free areas? What am I, a leper?

I'm not a threat to anyone, my dogs are no threat to anyone. In fact most children love them, even a little bit too much at times.

AuntyJackiesBrothersSistersBoy · 08/06/2018 07:49

I think you need to know your dog and act accordingly. Personally, I only allow mine off lead in a number of fields where I live. No children, only other dog people 😊. In a park with kids, picnics, noise? No. Because I know she’ll be after whatever she can snaffle.

She’s a big golden retriever and has quite the appetite. For everything. Food, people and fun!

AIBU bloody “dog people”
multiplemum3 · 08/06/2018 07:52

Are people this hysterical in real life about dogs or is it just a mums net thing?

itstimeforanamechange · 08/06/2018 07:55

It's not MN, it's real life. Everywhere you go there are dogs. They used to be walked early morning and late evening.

Now they're "part of the family" and have to go everywhere including shops and restaurants.

And if they inconvenience other people, well it's tough.

I don't think it's hysteria, it's a well-founded wish to be able to go about one's business without being hassled by dogs, tripping over leads or slipping over on dog poo.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 08/06/2018 07:55

Beautiful dog!

When mine were puppies they weren't to be trusted around picnics. So we didn't go near.

Now they are fine, so can have a stroll. I know them. I watch them. They are safe.

greendale17 · 08/06/2018 08:03

Are people this hysterical in real life about dogs or is it just a mums net thing?

^I don’t know any adults or kids in real life that are remotely scared of dogs

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 08/06/2018 08:16

The only two incidents I've had where someone has taken unreasonable umbridge to my dog were a middle aged man walking across the common who broke into a worried looking sprint when he saw my dog ambling sedately in his direction (he wasn't going to approach the man, it was coincidental, and he was still many metres away) and a woman with apparent MH issues who chose to sit on the same set of seats as me on the bus (others were available) and then told me to "keep that fackin' dog away from me" (my dog doesn't want anything to do with you love). If I have to sit next to someone else on the bus or train with my dog, I ask them if they mind before I do. Not one person has yet objected, and a lot of people look baffled that I'm even asking because they like dogs themselves.

In the real world, if people have children who are scared of dogs, or are scared of them themselves, they pick parks with enclosed dog free play areas and choose not to sit next to people with dogs. On MN they appear to be seeking out the most dog heavy places available so that they can come on here and moan.

aaronburr · 08/06/2018 09:04

In the real world, if people have children who are scared of dogs, or are scared of them themselves, they pick parks with enclosed dog free play areas and choose not to sit next to people with dogs. On MN they appear to be seeking out the most dog heavy places available so that they can come on here and moan

This is such an unfair comment. DD is scared of dogs and we have had incidents:

On the school run. there is a woman who always has a dog off lead and not to heel. Maybe I should homeschool?

As I mentioned upthread we were happily sat at a bus stop when a man saw fit to lurch his dog at DD to "help her fears". Maybe we shouldn't catch buses?

The other day at a NT property a dog off lead with no owner in sight was bothering DD. When owner emerged they told me it wouldn't be going on a lead and was rolling her eyes at my scared 7yo. Maybe we should relinquish our NT membership?

Seaside towns are rammed full of dogs. Lovely incident last year when DD was scared of a dog and the owner "joked" that it wasn't hungry as had just eaten another child. Maybe we should give up on summer days out?

Couple of weeks ago bloke had a pitbull off lead in a gated ornamental garden in our local park which terrified DD. He didn't care about the signs which said dogs to be kept on leads. Perhaps we should avoid these places just in case?

We do actively avoid the places locally we know to be the most dog heavy but you can't get away from them anywhere.

reallyanotherone · 08/06/2018 09:06

*It's not MN, it's real life. Everywhere you go there are dogs. They used to be walked early morning and late evening.

Now they're "part of the family" and have to go everywhere including shops and restaurants.

And if they inconvenience other people, well it's tough.

I don't think it's hysteria, it's a well-founded wish to be able to go about one's business without being hassled by dogs, tripping over leads or slipping over on dog poo*

Interestingly, i think it’s the opposite :).

When i was a small child dog poo lying around was common - white dog poo anyone? There were stray dogs and dogs were allowed to roam, so it wasn’t unusual to find a dog pottering round by itself. Nobody picked up their dog poo, occasionally you would have a dog that was trained to crap in the gutter by the kerb, but that was rare.

Most people knew someone with a dog, or were used to coming across them in the street.

Nowadays we have all the hygeine paranoia so fewer people keep pets and dogs, or allow their kids to stroke dogs without washing hands. Dogs are mostly well controlled, have a human with them who picks up poo and takes responsibility.

I went to italy last year and the dog culture there is different. People hang out in cafe’s and bars with their dogs under the tables, and it was very common to see dogs in the town centre. I suppose though the weather makes it easier when you can sit outside til late.

However i don’t think the rise of “status” dogs like staffies has helped- people using a dog to project a scary image. I have a very small dog and usually face two different reactions- he is either grabbed and petted like a toy, or treated like a viscious monster. People have crossed the road or jumped out of his way when they see him!

rogueone · 08/06/2018 10:26

I have never been out in France, Italy or Spain and come across a dog off the lead. You do see dogs in the evening mainly at the evening markets or under the tables at outside restaurants. However they are all on leads. Never been to a beach abroad and had dogs jumping at me or being loose on beaches either. I know a lot of DC locally who are scared of dogs and it’s usually due to them having had an experience as tots with a dog off the lead. Responsible owners don’t have there dogs off leads in busy parks or at a time of the day when young DC are out if they know there dog has poor recall, has a penchant for picnics or ice creams and likes jumping at DC. Not difficult tbh. I take my dog to the woods now as the park is too busy and I can’t trust that he won’t come back to me if he sees a picnic.

RhapsodyQueen · 08/06/2018 10:40

You are not allowed to say you don't like dogs in RL as a) people will think you are weird and b) they will INSIST you will love their dog if you give it a chance - and are relentless in this quest. It's easier to just tell people we are allergic.

RhapsodyQueen · 08/06/2018 10:46
Lethaldrizzle · 08/06/2018 11:22

Greendale - i,m not scared of dogs per se despite having been bitten 3 times in my life but I am scared of some if the dogs in my area. There are some right nasty looking dogs around here

ginghamstarfish · 08/06/2018 12:10

Yes there are many twattish dog owners about. I'm another one who finds that dogs are just EVERYWHERE these days, on and off the lead. Parks, beaches, restaurants, shops, etc, it's horrible, and having to see them shit all over the place (whether or not it's picked up afterwards - who wants to see that). I don't like dogs and never have, and cannot for the life of me understand why some treat their dogs as if they are another human/actual family member who is entitled to go wherever the family goes. Yes I am scared of them, particularly as I'm disabled, on crutches and a bit wobbly so absolutely dread a loose dog running at me as I can't do anything except try not to get knocked over (and risk a fracture), let alone the slobber/mud/filth which owners so charmingly like to let their animals share. So I have to restrict where I am able to go. Thanks to those dog owners, for making me less important than their entitled animals.

RhapsodyQueen · 08/06/2018 12:23

So sorry gingham. The dog people still don't care. They are entitled to a dog(s) and inflict them on the rest of us. It is literally shit.

BookAtBedtime · 08/06/2018 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 08/06/2018 15:00

I’ve never encountered such vitriol against dogs as I’ve read on Mumsnet. It’s easy to hide behind a keyboard I guess. They’re an easy subject, you’re not offending a minority group or being discriminatory. Even drunk drivers and murderers don’t get the sneering and criticism that dog owners do. It’s baffling.

crunchymint · 08/06/2018 16:48

Honestly those who say - they are only children - when their kids are running about restaurants and pubs disturbing everyone's peace; are the same ones who say - he is only being friendly - when a dog runs up and jumps up at you repeatedly.
People who are selfish in public are selfish in a variety of ways.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 08/06/2018 16:58

I would love to see the increase in dog ownership in the uk over the last 20 years, I would imagine the increase is quite substantial.
I have had numerous issues with dogs whilst out and about with my toddlers, which tends to be in parks. I want then to like dogs unfortunately both are terrified and this is solely down to poor owners.

angryburd · 08/06/2018 17:07

Where are all these terminally incontinent, filthy, uncontrollable drooling beasts that I keep hearing about on MN? This website is hysterical.

Ruffian · 08/06/2018 17:16

I once heard that in France you can take your dog to the cinema!