Be honest....would you leave?

[DeepFatFriar]

So after 3 years of living in DP's hometown i want out.

This is where he grew up. He goes to his mums every day. We have BBQs with his childhood friends most weekend.

Its a part of the country that is fairly grim tbh and although ive made a little life for myself and some friends, i want out.

He wants kids abd i dont want them here as it means i will be trapped here.

So this is a question for all the people still living in the region they grew up in: be honest, if your partner asked you to move elsewhere, would you?

I just have and I massively regret it. If he wants to be near his family and friends, there’s nothing wrong with that. If you want to leave and go somewhere else, go, there’s nothing wrong with that either. It just might mean both of you being brave and facing a split as your goals for your future are different. You’ll find someone else who shares your view in the future. It’s ok to want different things. I am struggling to forgive my husband for forcing me away from the things I loved because I was told I was boring for wanting to stay. I’ve lost everything - a job I loved, my lovely house, I’m now miles from my friends and family. It’s never going to be worth it. It probably won’t be long before we split too.

It doesn't sound like you as an individual have much reason to stay.

But will your husband be willing to move? I come from an area where it is common to still hang out with your childhood friends, and see parents often (although not every day). I left, and now live in London, which I love. BUT. The older I get, and especially since having DS, the more I see the value of family and a real community, as opposed to one where people are constantly moving in and out. If you are both young, it may be easier to persuade him. Or if you suggest moving "just for 2 years, and then we'll definitely move back" - which is how a friend of mine got managed into moving to Australia!

I don't think you have a problem with living in your his hometown, you have a problem with your partner DP. If you were really in love with him I don't think you would mind where you lived as long as he was there. I don't think I'd want to be with someone who saw his mum everyday and still met with childhood friends.

I would leave the relationship tbh, I couldn't be with someone who sees their mother every day and friends every weekend.

Totally agree.

After 3 years aren’t his friends your friends?

The point seems to be these friends are probably drinking buddies from way back when, with whom the OP has nothing in common. I have to say, most of my DHs friends are people he knows through his sport and he wouldn't expect me to socialise with them, so I can see why OP feels fed up of having them inflicted on her seeing them every weekend!