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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want more money

70 replies

yellowdaisiesgreengrass · 02/06/2018 19:01

I know I am well off compared to most of the world and indeed country.

But as a single parent and have been since I had a three year old and a one year old, I just never have enough money.

I know I’m moaning. I just wish I could do more enjoyable things - always held back due to lack of cash.

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 02/06/2018 20:58

The OP hasn't got two kids under 5.

VioletCharlotte · 02/06/2018 20:59

Not sure why you're getting a hard time OP. I'm a single parent and it's really tough. I earn decent money but my outgoings are so high, there's never enough leftover for holidays or treats. It can make you feel a big crap sometimes. Nothing wrong with having a moan now and again.

gluteustothemaximus · 02/06/2018 20:59

I'm not going to suggest a second job or anything

What I am going to suggest though, is trying to cut your bills down.

I signed up to Quidco (the cash back scheme) and changed over the gas/electric and home insurance, car insurance etc.

We challenged virgin on our internet/phone bill, and also got our crappy mortgage rate fixed to a slightly still crappy better one.

All in all we've got £160 in our quidco account and we've saved around £100 per month.

Just an idea. Also, what we think is a good day out, has changed somewhat. I'd rather spend the day in the garden with the paddling pool out and supermarket ice creams than £200 on a theme park. The kids live in the garden now it's Summer

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 02/06/2018 21:01

Yes, indeed, seven days a week? And my second job would hardly pay much.

Who said 7 days a week? Who said your second job would hardly pay much?

No, I couldn’t. We, ah, live here. There’s no space.

Fine, it was a suggestion not an order!

Is petrol free?

No, but you’d be er, earning! No job will be free to get to!

Think it’s hilarious all those on here who think it’s just so easy to study hard and get a better paying job (with 2 kids under 5)

It’s not easy. It’s hard. I know. I’ve done it. Also, OPs children aren’t under 5.

Mammalamb · 02/06/2018 21:03

Oops I misread that they are 1&3. But I still think OP is getting a hard time from all the perfect people on here! I work ft with one child and a husband and finding time to study is a struggle

Flaminglingos · 02/06/2018 21:04

We're a one income family so things are tight and have to be accounted for. I go on websites like top cash back to reclaim cash back on online purchases, it all adds up. I look for deals on hot uk deals and I regularly switch providers to save money. I mortgaged and saved £150 off my monthly salary. Could you do this op? Go through your monthly outgoings and see where you can make savings to release extra cash.

Good luck

Flaminglingos · 02/06/2018 21:05

I remortgaged

cunningartificer · 02/06/2018 21:09

You are at your tough time now when your children are little. Things will get better and you can make a career change or sideways shift which could pay better .

I changed to what I thought was a lower prestige job to fit in with DCs childcare and within a short time had doubled my salary. Threw myself into it and I earned more than I thought possible. Loved it also! Then downsized as I realised I didn’t actually want to pay other people to do things I wanted to do with my children.

Now I have the right balance. Don’t forget your children are a great blessing. You could be spending thousands trying to have children after dedicating your time to an unforgiving job, like a close friend. We’re in a similar place now ironically, but she’s told me she envied me for DCs while I was busy envying her for her great career!

Lanaa · 02/06/2018 21:14

Op you seem to be stuck in a negative mindset. If you want to change then you have to make changes. Have you spent any time researching things that can make you extra income? I'm thinking things that don't require huge amounts of time like: matched betting, Amazon FBA selling and the odd bit of eBay. Have you any skills that you can monetise?

By doing the above, I've managed to create multiple streams of income that collectively are greater than the salary of my professional job. It takes the pressure off and means life is so much more enjoyable now.

moggiek · 02/06/2018 21:17

Read the thread, Folks!

Fink · 02/06/2018 21:18

I understand you OP. I'm a single parent with decent qualifications but I want to spend time with dd and have a job I actually enjoy so I prioritise that and it means a relatively low-paid job (compared to what I could potentially get). It's a compromise I'm willing to make. I would quite like more money but not as much as I like the other things, especially the opportunity to work flexible hours and be available for dd.

Jonbb · 02/06/2018 21:33

When my marriage broke down my son was 4, I retrained by continuing working 35ish hours a week and going to uni to do a degree, full time. Qualified into my chosen new profession a few years after graduating, I don't know how I did it, I was permanently knackered, be and became amazingly good at time management, and came out with an upper second. It takes determination and bloody hard work. I was 35 when I started. I was the first person in our family to go to uni. But moaning about things without changing your life to what you want seems to be what a lot of people do. I guess it's the entitlement that pisses me off. As if it's luck that some people have things. Sometimes it is, but I know a lot of people, particularly women with children too and many without a partner, who have achieved amazing things through sheer hard work.

gamerchick · 02/06/2018 22:11

gamerchick
😂 how wpuld changing from a job in the nhs to becoming a childminder help?

I was taking the piss, those suggestions usually crop up

So how old are your kids then OP? I do agree you have a defeatest attitude. Yes it sucks to be just managing with little left over but there are little changes and a bit of jiggling here and there that could free up or bring in extra cash but you don't seem to be looking for change. So.....

happiestcamper · 02/06/2018 22:16

I get what you mean OP. There are two off us earning not great but ok wages. We have 3 DC and after bills there just isn’t anything left. We get by and we have fun but it’s frustrating. There are so many things we want to see and do but just can’t manage it. We already work opposite shifts for childcare so no real option for second jobs either.

Quiddichcup · 02/06/2018 22:26

Op- I hear you.

These people who aren't single parents don't know.

I've been on my own for years, I have an ok job that is not min wage. I'm skint as hell most of the time.

It affects everything from not being able to be spontaneous with my child or even socialise. If we need clothes then that's the spare money for that month gone.

Getting a better job won't see me any better as I'll lose the last bit of tax credits and so will have even more stress to break even.

Having extra stress when you are already maxed out is too hard.

No advice, just wanted to let you know you aren't the only one.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 02/06/2018 22:27

These people who aren't single parents don't know.

Which posters are you talking about?

rainingcatsanddog · 02/06/2018 22:29

I'm a single parent of 3 and my FB feed (particularly over this half term week) is a stark reminder of how much money and help from a loving partner I don't have.

BanginChoons · 02/06/2018 22:41

Another single parent here. I hear you OP. Also, what @rainingcatsanddog said.

As a single parent you do all the pick ups, all the drop offs, all the food shops, all the housework, all the organising, all the mental load, if one child wants football and one wants dance and they are both on a Saturday morning at 10, which child do you let down? Always having to watch the pennies and knowing it will probably always be this way doesn't help.

BackforGood · 02/06/2018 22:46

Amazing the number of posters who don't thread what is actually posted!

I agree with those saying let the OP just have a bit of a moan. She wasn't asking how she could reduce costs, or earn more, just having a little sigh that it would just be nice to have a slightly better income.
Surely we've all done that?
I regularly plan how I'm going to spend my £1million win...... and I don't even buy lottery tickets

My only reassurance, OP, is that I have a theory that, whatever you income / outgoings, you always notice that 'thing' you'd like, which is just beyond your reach - be it when you are buying something massive such as a house, or be it if you are looking for holidays or wishing you had something to help adult dc out a bit, it doesn't matter, the 'next step' is visible on your horizon and you wish you had it. It's normal for most people I think, wherever we are on the financial ladder.
You have to train yourself sometimes to appreciated all the positives you have in your life, and sometimes it takes a bereavement or illness or accident, to make us do that.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 02/06/2018 22:48

just having a little sigh that it would just be nice to have a slightly better income.

Which is why people were suggesting how she could get a slightly better income!!

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